Funny Saw Quotes: top 41 famous quotes about Funny Saw

Funny Saw Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Saw quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

How now, my sweet creature of bombast! How long is't ago, Jack, since thou saw'st thien own knee? — William Shakespeare

I saw a young boy eating an ice cream cone, ... I smashed it in his face. You know that kid is going to remember me when he's 50. — Dane Cook

I saw on HBO they were advertising a boxing match "It's a fight to the finish". That's a good place to end. — Mitch Hedberg

I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like, "Dude, you have to wait". — Mitch Hedberg

I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one. — Tim Vine

When I saw a sign on the freeway that said, "Los Angeles 445 miles," I said to myself, "I've got to get out of this lane." — Franklyn Ajaye

I saw 28 Days. I don't remember rehab being like a day camp or being that funny. Rehab is a dumping ground. It's a big landfill. — Charlie Sheen

When I was a kid, I read comics. But when I saw how funny it was, and how wonderfully absurd, I said, "You know, I gotta do this." — Adam West

So I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode. I said "Are you two an item?" — Tommy Cooper

I saw a want ad. "light housekeeping." They said "Here, change this bulb." I said "I'll need some friends." — Steven Wright

When I first saw a strap on, I put it on my head and ran around like a rhino. — Dave Attell

I saw a tree fall in the woods, and I didn't hear it. — Steven Wright

My grandma Ruthie, Jettie's sister, had been married four times, so many times I started calling every old man I saw at the grocery store Grandpa. — Molly Harper

Well, don't expect us to be too impressed. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear. — Suzanne Collins

I never saw myself as a comedian. I saw myself as a guy who can act funny. — Charlie Day

The person who proclaimed me Best Dressed Man never saw me in my sport outfit. — Robert Pattinson

No one wants to read a story where I saw a cute puppy on the street and I petted it. I mean, that's not funny. I only write about the funny stuff. — Tucker Max

I saw a dark void under the platform and had just enough time to think: Fuck me he's a earthbender. — Ben Aaronovitch

But it is funny, because I saw Unbreakable recently and it's a strange movie, I didn't mind it, and it's got some interesting things going on. — Alex Winter

From the first time I saw Sid Caesar be funny I knew that's what I had to do. — Billy Crystal

What they saw was a hero baby. That's what you are. A survivor. A strong woman. Beautiful... Funny as hell... Sexy... Sweet... — Lucian Bane

It's funny, but I never knew I was hot or could be beautiful until I saw 'Basic Instinct,' and I was so shocked when I saw how pretty they made me. — Sharon Stone

When Johnny Depp saw it, he was so excited he fluffed up to twice his normal size. — Diane Messidoro

I did. I did see Bigfoot when I was a kid and I still believe it to this day. I saw a big furry man outside my window. It's not funny! It was real. — Barry Watson

I played myself in an Aziz Ansari comedy, and that was funny to see how they saw me ... flowing scarves and a flourish of pink! Eek! — Colin Salmon

The last time I saw African kids this excited, Madonna was at their school with a net. — Russell Howard

I saw a vegetarian wearing a furry coat. so I looked closer. it was made of grass. — Steven Wright

I saw a small bottle of cologne and asked if it was for sale. She said, "It's free with purchase." I asked her if anyone bought anything toda — Steven Wright

I saw a seagull hanging out by a lake, but I said, "Don't worry, Dude. I won't say anything." — Mitch Hedberg

A couple weeks ago I was on the street and I saw an ugly pregnant lady, and I just thought, 'Good for you.' — Demetri Martin

Laurence the last time I saw something like you I flushed it away. — Mark A. Cooper

Do you think to yourself, 'Wow, I saw this chicken and she was gorgeous?' — Les Dennis

In the distance, Bo saw a fairy. A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud of being called one in highschool. — Bo Burnham

I saw a guy juggling chain saws, it was cool, unless something needed to be sawed down, then it's annoying. — Mitch Hedberg

Bob Gibson is the luckiest pitcher I ever saw. He always pitches when the other team doesn't score any runs. — Tim McCarver

Funny how when I was in this room, I breathed easier. When I saw her, the muscles in my shoulders loosened. I could just ... be myself. — Jenny B. Jones

A peacock escaped from the Central Park Zoo and wandered around the city. Either that or I just saw a pigeon on his way to a gay pride parade. — Jimmy Fallon

You 'accidentally' touched his bottom? Didn't that happen when you last saw him as
well? Surprising how often that seems to be a problem. — Twisted Hilarity

Are you kidding me? The last time I saw a face like yours, I fed it a banana. — TheFlamingPopsicle

I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating. — Adam Carolla

The first time I saw a mermaid in my dream, and she looked so real...THAT.'s fishy!! — Ana Claudia Antunes