Funny People Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Funny People

Funny People Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny People quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. Exit signs? They're on their way out. — Tim Vine

I look crazy, but I'm not. And the funny thing is, that other people don't look crazy, but they are. — Eden Ahbez

I tended to hate people that hit me in the head without warning. — Amanda Hocking

If you think I'm one of those people who try to be funny at breakfast you're wrong. I'm invariably ill-tempered in the early morning. — Daphne Du Maurier

Ladders were not inherently dangerous, he told himself, people climbed them every day, and most of them lived. — Anne Ursu

If a woman cannot make her mistakes charming, she is only a female. — Oscar Wilde

White people, you did not get a receipt for niggas, you can not return us! — Katt Williams

If people want to compete for leadership of a religious group, they can compete in piety. A chilling thought. Or funny. — Mary Douglas

I really hate it when people want to kill me. It makes me think they don't want to be friends. - Raven from Blood of Prey — R.J. Dennis

You are not just a funny person or just a journalist. Most people are hybrids of having a smart opinion and a great sense of humor. — Katie Nolan

Onions make me sad. A lot of people don't realize that. — Mitch Hedberg

The books are funny and sad, and that's what people respond to. — Paula Danziger

Home is where, when you go there and tell people to get out, they have to leave. — Jim Butcher

People say 'Bill, are you an optimist?' And I say, 'I hope so.' — Bill Bailey

[the car] backfired a lot. Loud enough that when I drove in the wrong part of town and it let loose with a gas fart, people actually ducked for cover. — Adrienne Wilder

How many people does it take to change a searchlight bulb? — Steven Wright

When I reflect upon the number of disagreeable people who have gone on to a better world, I am moved to lead a different life. — Mark Twain

I think people like comedies and I think concept driven comedies seem to be working when it's a clear concept and you deliver funny stuff. — Todd Phillips

During the Great Depression, when people laughed their worries disappeared. Audiences loved these funny men. I decided to become one. — Jerry Stiller

Funny how people that don't believe in nothin' are so quick to believe every crazy story about people like us. — Dean Koontz

I've always liked being funny and making people laugh. I was a cut-up when I was a kid, and was always doing bits for my friends and family. — Busy Philipps

The people from 'The State' are close friends, but also some of the most incredibly funny people I know. — Joe Lo Truglio

Everybody blames the Jews for killing Christ, and the Jews try to pass it off on the Romans. I'm one of the few people who believes it was the blacks. — Sarah Silverman

It's funny how people can take up so much room
in your heart
but you still have plenty left
for someone else — Marilyn Hilton

Each marriage starts with two built-in handicaps. It involves two imperfect people. — Russell M. Nelson

I want to do drama - no one really sees that. People just think I'm the funny guy and I can't do anything else, and that's just not true. — Mark Indelicato

It's funny when people say you have sex appeal or call you the next Brad Pitt. I just laugh. I'm not that. I don't want to be that. — Kellan Lutz

As an actor, when you're doing comedies, you're around fantastic, funny people and you hopefully have a really good time doing it. — Ari Graynor

It's always cool on the airplane when people are watching 'SVU.' It's funny. And it's always the reruns. — Kelli Giddish

To people who make moving ads that block the view of websites: Not only will we not buy from you, but we want shrews to eat your liver. — Dave Barry

They say if you outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns. Well, those are precisely the people who need them! — George Carlin

I've always surrounded myself with funny people. — Leslie Mann

I think people who are fanatical about anything are funny. — Jackie Schaffer

A funny thing about tolerant people? They're really only tolerant when you agree with them. — Greg Gutfeld

The trick is always to write in pairs because if at least two people find it funny, you've immediately halved the odds of it not being funny. — Steve Coogan

I find it funny because people complain about Brooklyn becoming too hip, but would they prefer stock brokers or gunfights or something? — Kemp Muhl

I don't like forcing comedy and people just trying to do things just to find a funny beat all the time. — Martin Lawrence

It's probably polite to pretend you don't see people coming out of pawnshops, anyhow. — Dashiell Hammett

Particularly beautiful people were like particularly funny-looking people, though. Once you know them you mostly forgot about it. — Ann Brashares

Dear Hotel People: We don't need a cheeseball clock-radio. WE NEED PLACES TO PLUG STUFF IN. Thank you. — Dave Barry

Nothing amuses people more than a cocky guy who starts losing. — Criss Jami

If I were to insult people and mean it, that wouldn't be funny. — Don Rickles

Maybe you should make me a list of people I can kill and ways in which they're allowed to die," he said. "You are not funny." "I'm very funny. — Ilona Andrews

Wealth and rank are what people desire, but unless they are obtained in the right way they may not be possessed. — Confucius

Who decides which defects are funny and which ones are tragic? Nobody laughs at blind people or makes iron lung jokes. — David Mitchell

Sometimes people deserve a high five, in the face, with a chair. — Will Rogers

It's a real valley when I talk about veal. And calf roping. People were sensitive about calf roping. Which I think is quite funny. — Gary Gulman

I don't have a desire to do reality. Because my truth is not what people are responding to. My truth is funny; I laugh with my husband every day. — Niecy Nash

People have sex, even the religious ones. Yet, when sex is transferred into words, suddenly it's dirty, vulgar, immoral, trashy. Funny huh? — Hector Himeros

The funny thing about history is that we imagine that people didn't laugh in the old days, but of course they did, at stupid things. — Terry Jones

The coldest depth of Hell is reserved for people who abandon kittens. — Robert A. Heinlein

I see some people with glasses here, I trust people with glasses, don't you? But if you're wearing your glasses like this ... "Get away from 'em!" — Jim Gaffigan

Is that a rule? Do you have a rule that you can't kiss people in the morning? — Holly Hood

If people are talking behind your back, then just fart. — Thabang Gideon Magaola

Sometimes the funniest people don't know that they're funny - like the administrators in my high school. — Vanessa Bayer

Many people think the Cards at the end of the wire will cross the finish line first. — Jerry Coleman

I know a lot of funny people in a lot of funny places. — John Mellencamp

I don't think of any sentence as a "one-liner", but I do pay attention to how people actually speak when they are being funny. Rhythm is key. — Lorrie Moore

It's funny how guilty people start to question your spirituality and education only because they have nothing to say that will justify their faults. — J.B. Albano

What can I say? I'm like a playground water fountain, I live to wet people's pants. — Frances Winkler

How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O — Henny Youngman

It's nice to find people who live on the fringe, finding one another and she's just unrelentingly funny. — Steve Carell

I guess the only thing to do now is meet his parents. I'm sure they're decent people. I mean they gotta be if they named their son Gaylord Focker. — Robert De Niro

I love how people walk around with crucifixes, skullcaps, pointy hats, funny beards and then say 'you should keep your atheism to yourself.' — Ricky Gervais

It's a one-to-one dialogue. You open your mouth and you're talking to 6 million people. — Derek Jameson

I've never been bothered with my conduct. I've only been bothered by people that don't get it correct when they gossip about me. — Shannon L. Alder

I just like working with people that I respect and think are really funny. — Busy Philipps

The funny thing about writing is I think a lot of people assume that you're sitting in a garret with a quill pen for hour after hour. — Lincoln Child

I love people; it's mankind I can't stand. — Charles M. Schulz

We started with 53,000 people. Half are gone, but surprisingly, most are still here! — Jerry Coleman

Time is a funny thing. It can take some people a whole lifetime before they realize they've been playing tug-of-war all by themselves. — Karen White

When I tell people I'm a comedian they say, 'Oh, are you funny?' I say, 'No, it's not that kind of comedy.' — Susan Sarandon

Sometimes we know people who are
too wonderful for words. I am not one of them.
Or you, for that matter, as you well know. — Michael Hogan

There's a lot of very funny people I'd love to work with that I've never met, of course. I love Steve Martin and Jim Carrey. — Dick Van Dyke

I feel no grief for being called something
which
I am not;
in fact, it's enthralling, somehow, like a good
back rub — Charles Bukowski

First of all, I find everything funny, which is upsetting to my children sometimes, and to people in my life, in general. — Jenji Kohan

About mistakes it's funny. You got to make your own; and not only that, if you try to keep people from making theirs they get mad. — Edna Ferber

You must be careful when you ask people whether they're happy; it's a question that can upset them a great deal. — Francois Lelord

I played in a death-metal band. People either loved us or hated us. Or they thought we were OK. — Mitch Hedberg

Size does matter. There's a lot of ways to make people feel good, but personally I think it does enhance things. — Pamela Anderson

I firmly believe that if you can't fool all of the people all of the time you should start breeding them for stupidity. - Weisshaupt — Dave Sim

There's a fear that I don't think people are interested in my actual opinion. I just think people are interested in me being funny. — Nick Thune

People are funny. They often don't mean to be, and that's what makes it even more endearing. — Jennifer Lee

You can make fun of yourself and people will laugh at you. If you're smart, you'll end up as a comedian. If you're not, you'll end up as a clown. — Ljupka Cvetanova

Most of the people I admire, they usually smell funny and don't get out much. It's true. Most of them are either dead or not feeling well. — Tom Waits

It's all life is. Just going 'round kissing people. — F Scott Fitzgerald

Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children. — Samuel Butler

Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I'm a professional funny guy. — Chris Rock

People are funny. They look down from all sorts of heights and then if the looking down has no effect they get unsure. — John McGahern

Musical people always want one to be perfectly dumb at the very moment when one is longing to be perfectly deaf. — Oscar Wilde

People have many theories about comedy, but being just plain funny is the one most important thing. — Gilbert Gottfried

People think I am funny all the time. But I am not. I am serious, too. Also, I enjoy serious, dramatic films. — Kapil Sharma

In Hollywood if you don't have a shrink, people think you're crazy. — Johnny Carson

The funny thing about mundies is how obsessed with magic they are for a bunch of people who don't even know what the word means. — Cassandra Clare

If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you. — Billy Wilder

You're not a loser. You're almost as smart as me, which makes you one of the smartest people on the planet. — Jules Barnard

One longs to be funny, to make people laugh. Laughter is such a sign of approval, isn't it? — Tom Baker

The tax collector must love poor people, he's creating so many of them. — Bill Vaughan

It's funny; recently I've started to notice people's impersonations of me, and it's basically like a hyperactive child. — Dave Grohl

I need to be cheered up a lot. I think funny people are people who need to be cheered up. — Lynda Barry