Funny Never Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about Funny Never
Funny Never Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Never quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
It is funny you know, you spend 12 years of your life learning about things and about life, but they never really tell you how hard life really is.
— Amanda Peterson
Funny that. We live in islands of Hours and we never seem to have time enough for anything ...
— Clive Barker
The biggest critics of my books are the people who never read them.
— Jackie Collins
Rina's always claimed that I expect too little from life," Standard said."Then at least you'll never be disappointed. — James Sallis
It's funny. Of all the jobs I've been ambitious for, this is one that never crossed my mind.
— Edmund S. Muskie
Funny how you never forget the girls from school, huh?
— Dave Franklin
I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, "My dad can beat up your dad." I'd say Yeah? When?
— Bill Hicks
The police never find it as funny as you do.-T-Shirt
— Darynda Jones
I never intended to make a living from music. That's the funny thing. I wanted to be a journalist.
— Pete Seeger
One should never give up on hope. Unless that's the name of the girl who cheated on you in which case, yeah, give her up.
— Carroll Bryant
The funny thing about television is that once you start to do it you never get time to watch it.
— Kevin Sorbo
We're like the couple on the sitcom that has good sparks but never get together for the sake of ratings.
— Aimee Bender
Um, I'm just naturally super-funny. No, not really. I've never been in The Groundlings or anything.
— Ryan Hansen
Wait a second," Clary said."I never understand why people say that," Luke said, to no one in particular. "I wasn't going anywhere. — Cassandra Clare
The police never think it's as funny as you do.
— Erin Nicholas
Funny thing about prayers. God hears them. But you just never know if, when, or how He's going to answer them.
— Becky Wade
Never join with your friend when he abuses his horse or his wife, unless the one is about to be sold, the other to be buried.
— Charles Caleb Colton
Men never know how tired they are till their wives sit them down for a nice long talk.
— Mignon McLaughlin
Now, my intention was to drink just enough to dull the senses, but intentions should never be mixed with alcohol.
— Kirt J. Boyd
Pickup lines never work ... I think someone clever, witty and funny is very attractive.
— Kate Upton
I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.
— Will Rogers
I'm never growing up, I'll just sit in the corner of time and sip my juice box petulantly and judge your terrible Hamlet adaptations.
— Rhiannon McGavin
It's funny, growing up there was never anybody around me with any kind of artistic bent.
— Nick Offerman
If someone ever asks you to do something for them, do it really bad so you never have to do it again.
— Paris Hilton
I never intended to become a zombie huntress; I had only intended to protest prom, high school's last bastion of patriarchal society.
— G.G. Silverman
But its not funny. Not to people who've been told they're losers their whole lives and believe they will never be anything else.
— Julie Anne Peters
I never learned anything from a match that I won.
— Bobby Jones
'Come out' is so funny to me because I've never been in.
— Adam Lambert
Remind me," he paused, drawing in a stuttered gasp, "to never piss you off again. Christ, are you secretly a ninja?
— Jennifer L. Armentrout
It's funny, I never think I'm doing that well. I've never, ever. I just constantly think, 'This isn't working out.'
— Dominic Cooper
A little vanilla never hurt anybody." He nipped her ankle. "Great shoes by the way. Sexy as hell.
— Hanna Lui
He looks funny in a suit jacket, like a bear dressed up in costume for the circus. I would never tell him that, though.
— Lauren Oliver
It's funny - in elementary school, I went by Amber. I never liked Tiffani.
— Tiffani Thiessen
Cheech and I used to call ourselves musicians; we never called ourselves comedians. We were musicians that were funny.
— Tommy Chong
Christmas never would have caught on if it had been called Celebrate a Little Jew's Birthday.
— Andy Borowitz
I never thought that someday men will also use an iPAD.
— Santosh Kalwar
Your wit never ceases to underwhelm me.
— A&E Kirk
I've never walked home wearing just a pink robe and a pair of slippers.
— Jessica Sorensen
Jason Statham is funny, I never knew that.
— Melissa McCarthy
But that's why you pay for insurance, right? If you never file a claim, then they've beaten you.
— Jonathan Tropper
You know, there are just some things you never expect to face even on this job. A flying primate that shoots fire out its nose is one of them.
— Sherrilyn Kenyon
Life is funny...we never know what's in store for us and time brings on what is meant to be.
— April Mae Monterrosa
I like liquor - its taste and its effects - and that is just the reason why I never drink it.
— Stonewall Jackson
You'll never call him Fifi again.
— Lynda Barry
I have never pretended to be any kind of super-religious kind of man, but I feel very strongly that you can be funny without being dirty.
— Jonathan Winters
Normally, she would never wish a head injury on anyone, but it might make her days in Archival Studies a bit easier.
— Jaleigh Johnson
Whenever I call a company and get put on hold, I never really feel like I'm being held.
— Randy Glasbergen
The funny thing is I'm not bothered or sad about being on my own - after all I've never had a husband.
— Francesca Annis
I could pull off a 'man', but never, quite, a 'dude'.
— Adrian Barnes
The funny thing is, I was never much of a fighter. Better a live coward than a dead hero, that was my motto.
— Ozzy Osbourne
Funny thing about true happiness, though. You never know it's inside you until someone pulls it out.
— Meghan Quinn
Had your forefathers, Wigglesworth, been as stupid as you are, the human race would never have succeeded in procreating itself.
— Alan Bennett
There's a lot of very funny people I'd love to work with that I've never met, of course. I love Steve Martin and Jim Carrey.
— Dick Van Dyke
I want to make a memorial for our turkey. Never has a bird been so tortured to provide such a lousy dinner.
— Laurie Halse Anderson
What are those bulb things you're slicing?""You've never seen fennel? It looks like celery and tastes like licorice. — Ken Jennings
I've never been bothered with my conduct. I've only been bothered by people that don't get it correct when they gossip about me.
— Shannon L. Alder
Teasing is veiled hostility and is almost never funny, unless the teasee has openly agreed to relate that way.
— Sue Patton Thoele
It's funny what happens when you become a grandparent. You start to act all goofy and do things you never thought you'd do. It's terrific.
— Mike Krzyzewski
I never say a funny thing intentionally.
— Jayne Meadows
You must never imagine, that just because something is funny, it is not also dangerous.
— Neil Gaiman
Mom, how come you never go outside?""I told you, I'm a vampire. — Alison Bechdel
It's funny; Luther and I have written many songs together, but we've never written songs in the same room.
— Richard Marx
Don't be too nice to him," I teased. "He'll never leave.
— Juliet Blackwell
It's funny how you can know a person, think of him as your closest friend, and still never gain access to the secret chambers in his heart.
— Jennifer Finney Boylan
Never miss a party ... good for the nerveslike celery. — F Scott Fitzgerald
You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name and you've never been to that bar before. — Zach Galifianakis
When you argue with someone, you always argue at the level of the person with the lowest level of intelligence. You never argue up.
— Spuds Crawford
The guy behind the counter scratches his neck. "Are you being serious?" Her face is stoic. "Absolutely. I never kid about teddy bears.
— Jessica Sorensen
I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
— Zsa Zsa Gabor
To me, I've never understood why there is any question about are women as funny as men.
— Judd Apatow
She never called her son by any name but John; 'love' and 'dear', and such like terms, were reserved for Fanny.
— Elizabeth Gaskell
That's right, you get him, Mary. Don't let him change the subject!
— Alexandra Bracken
You win, you dirty evil butt-munch. I'll never not let you stay over again. Now let's go back to bed.
— Ethan Day
