Funny Mystery Quotes
Collection of top 40 famous quotes about Funny Mystery
Funny Mystery Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Mystery quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
Every morning I read the obituaries. If it ain't there I make myself a cup of tea and carry on like I have the past century or so.
— Lois Greiman
Sex is a bad thing because it rumples the clothes.
— Jackie Kennedy
I feel like I've been ironing all day in high heels and no brassiere. ~Tizzy Donovan, Laid Out and Candle Lit
— Ann Everett
never be moved, even if
— Esther Raber
It's a mystery why certain people find certain things funny.
— John C. Reilly
Excrement happens.
— Lois Greiman
I don't need shoes. I need a night scope. You think they sell night scopes someplace here?
— Janet Evanovich
Keep your exclamation points under control. You are allowed no more than two or three per 100,000 words of prose.
— Elmore Leonard
Do you know what happens when you play a country song backwards? You get your wife back, your dog back and your job back.
— Richard Belzer
Honest friends is kinda nice, but it's hard to beat a big-ass lie and a six-pack of brewskies.
— Lois Greiman
Ever wonder why the media never refers to 18 or 19 year old American soldiers as "armed teens"?
— Stefan Molyneux
Life's funny. Sometimes it's your oyster, and sometimes you're it's bitch-slapped man-whore.
— Lois Greiman
Life is what you make it. Unless some guy finds you with his girl. Then the ball's pretty much in his court.
— Lois Greiman
If you choose to not deal with an issue,then you give up your right of control over the issue
and it will select the path of least resistance. — Susan Del Gatto
Some people are street-smart, some people are book-smart, but most people are just dumber than dirt.
— Lois Greiman
I feel like I have a hangover, without all the happy memories and mystery bruises.
— Ellen DeGeneres
I wasn't sure how people were going to take to the stories I was telling and the things I wanted to sing about.
— Jackson Harris
For some people, Rose, it's easier to pretend the things that frighten us most don't exist at all.
— Jennifer McMahon
The real mystery isn't what's under the redaction mark, but what's above it.
— The Covert Comic
Theres no mystery-the EMU Club is a hit! This is a fun, funny adventure that kids will love to read.
— Lincoln Peirce
I would love to write a mystery - a romantic, funny mystery.
— Cecelia Ahern
Wow," he says, shaking his head. "You're kind of my hero. You just roasted a dead guy.
— Colleen Hoover
HERE LIES THE MYSTERY PISSERP.I.P. — Wendelin Van Draanen
I have very eclectic taste in music, but when it comes to going to concerts, I like going to rock concerts.
— Fran Drescher
Luck is merely a product of the happily delusional mind.
— Lois Greiman
Better to have to retrace your steps and then move forward than never to move forward at all.
— Anne Burack Sayre
I don't know who the hell Paul Lynde is, or why he's funny, and I prefer it to be a mystery to me.
— Paul Lynde
Maybe curiosity did kill your cat. But it wouldn't hurt to keep an eye on the neighbor's rottweiler just the same.
— Lois Greiman
You're gonna sit down. You're gonna shut up. And by the grace of God Almighty, I ain't gonna kill you.
— Lois Greiman
Indignation is often the best defense.
— Diane Capri
I'd rather be stung to death by a bunch of piss ants. ~Synola Harper, You're Busting My Nuptials
— Ann Everett
If you love me let me go.
— Panic At The Disco
I swear, when that woman dies, she'll be deader than everybody else.~Pattiecake from Laid Out and Candle Lit
— Ann Everett
