Funny Mystery Quotes: top 40 famous quotes about Funny Mystery

Funny Mystery Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Mystery quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Every morning I read the obituaries. If it ain't there I make myself a cup of tea and carry on like I have the past century or so. — Lois Greiman

Sex is a bad thing because it rumples the clothes. — Jackie Kennedy

I feel like I've been ironing all day in high heels and no brassiere. ~Tizzy Donovan, Laid Out and Candle Lit — Ann Everett

never be moved, even if — Esther Raber

It's a mystery why certain people find certain things funny. — John C. Reilly

Excrement happens. — Lois Greiman

Though everyone in the bar knew who he was, no one asked him about the death, though one old man did rustle his newspaper suggestively. — Donna Leon

If you don't have a dream, there is no way to make one come true. — Steven Tyler

I don't need shoes. I need a night scope. You think they sell night scopes someplace here? — Janet Evanovich

Keep your exclamation points under control. You are allowed no more than two or three per 100,000 words of prose. — Elmore Leonard

Do you know what happens when you play a country song backwards? You get your wife back, your dog back and your job back. — Richard Belzer

Honest friends is kinda nice, but it's hard to beat a big-ass lie and a six-pack of brewskies. — Lois Greiman

Ever wonder why the media never refers to 18 or 19 year old American soldiers as "armed teens"? — Stefan Molyneux

Life's funny. Sometimes it's your oyster, and sometimes you're it's bitch-slapped man-whore. — Lois Greiman

Life is what you make it. Unless some guy finds you with his girl. Then the ball's pretty much in his court. — Lois Greiman

If you choose to not deal with an issue,
then you give up your right of control over the issue
and it will select the path of least resistance. — Susan Del Gatto

Some people are street-smart, some people are book-smart, but most people are just dumber than dirt. — Lois Greiman

You still awake?' asked the anesthetist.
'Nope,' I replied. — Eoin Colfer

I feel like I have a hangover, without all the happy memories and mystery bruises. — Ellen DeGeneres

I wasn't sure how people were going to take to the stories I was telling and the things I wanted to sing about. — Jackson Harris

For some people, Rose, it's easier to pretend the things that frighten us most don't exist at all. — Jennifer McMahon

My love for you is indescribable, it means more than words can ever say, and I just wanted to tell you I LOVE U and will FOREVER... — Bernard Dsa

The real mystery isn't what's under the redaction mark, but what's above it. — The Covert Comic

Theres no mystery-the EMU Club is a hit! This is a fun, funny adventure that kids will love to read. — Lincoln Peirce

I would love to write a mystery - a romantic, funny mystery. — Cecelia Ahern

Wow," he says, shaking his head. "You're kind of my hero. You just roasted a dead guy. — Colleen Hoover

HERE LIES THE MYSTERY PISSER

P.I.P. — Wendelin Van Draanen

You're just so lucky blood's so hard to get out of the carpet. — Lois Greiman

I have very eclectic taste in music, but when it comes to going to concerts, I like going to rock concerts. — Fran Drescher

Luck is merely a product of the happily delusional mind. — Lois Greiman

Better to have to retrace your steps and then move forward than never to move forward at all. — Anne Burack Sayre

I don't know who the hell Paul Lynde is, or why he's funny, and I prefer it to be a mystery to me. — Paul Lynde

Even choosing the perfect dinner wine loses its earth-shattering importance if your guests happen to be cannibals, and you, the unsuspecting entree. — Lois Greiman

Maybe curiosity did kill your cat. But it wouldn't hurt to keep an eye on the neighbor's rottweiler just the same. — Lois Greiman

You're gonna sit down. You're gonna shut up. And by the grace of God Almighty, I ain't gonna kill you. — Lois Greiman

Indignation is often the best defense. — Diane Capri

I'd rather be stung to death by a bunch of piss ants. ~Synola Harper, You're Busting My Nuptials — Ann Everett

If you love me let me go. — Panic At The Disco

I swear, when that woman dies, she'll be deader than everybody else.~Pattiecake from Laid Out and Candle Lit — Ann Everett

The moment the door opened I knew an ass-kicking was inevitable. Whether I'd be giving it or receiving it was still a bit of a mystery. — Rachel Vincent