Funny Mean Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Funny Mean

Funny Mean Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Mean quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Maybe I think you're cute and funny. Maybe I wanna do what bunnies do with you, if you know what I mean. — Ingrid Michaelson

You know, it's funny, no matter what I do - I mean, you're always going to have negatives and positives. — Khloe Kardashian

But Thor and I weren't going to happen, ever. I didn't tell her this. I might be a killer, but I'm not mean. — J.A. Konrath

End? You don't mean like, dead end? — Paul Dini

Just because a guy rings your bell, doesn't mean you have to toot his horn. — C.C. Hunter

I don't really have a type of guy I like. It's just like nice guys, cute boys I mean, ones that are funny. — Emma Roberts

Aline!" Isabelle looked appalled. "You can't just go around asking people what it's like to be a vampire. — Cassandra Clare

She held her hand out in front of her. "Wait."
"No," I groaned and then cleared my throat. "I mean okay, I can wait. — Kenya Wright

I think those neighborhood signs that say 'slow children playing' are mean. — Zach Galifianakis

Everyone loves a kick-ass girl. (Well- maybe not her enemies, but you know what I mean.) — Sarah Cross

I mean, my age is just a number. So what if you were born in the era when they still used rotary phones and cassette tapes? I think it's cute. — T.S. Krupa

I'm not a quick wit. I'm only funny on paper. I mean, I'm not totally humorless! It's just that in person, I'm not quite the way I am on paper. — Mary Roach

Just because I rock doesn't mean I am made of stone. — Jim Carrey

I wish I wanted you, Rehv.
He laughed dryly. Funny. I know just what you mean. — J.R. Ward

I'm sorry I missed the meeting and hurt your little feely-weels okay? — Nenia Campbell

He's the funniest, smartest person I know. It doesn't mean he doesn't bug me and I'm sure I bug him sometimes. — Sarah Jessica Parker

If you are doing stand-up comedy, you have to be confident in what you are doing. That doesn't mean just because you are confident you are funny. — Judah Friedlander

Fuck You!' [Oskar said] 'Exuse me!' [His mom said] 'Sorry. I mean, screw you.' 'You need a time-out!' 'I need a mausoleum! — Jonathan Safran Foer

I know my spirit is not mean, and I have a very good spirit and a funny spirit. — Tracy Morgan

I understand that you don't want to marry me," I said. "I mean, I don't know why, since I'm simply delightful to be around. But to each his own taste. — Merrie Haskell

I bet she likes it hard, from behind, probably likes to get spanked too. I mean, just look at her, she has a serious come-fuck-me-face. — Ida Lokas

Live mean or die trying. — Cameron Jace

Unless in communicating with it one says exactly what one means, trouble is bound to result. — Alan Turing

Shit," Delia said. "I mean, shoot. No, actually, I mean shit. I really do. — Sarah Dessen

No means yes in grasshopper language. — Noel Fielding

Being mean just for being mean's sake isn't funny. — Kaitlin Olson

I don't mean to be funny. — Yogi Berra

But I think funny and talent will always win out; I mean, of course there are hurdles, but I think if you're funny you will get over all of that. — Wanda Sykes

You should never be mean to other girls. I don't care what grade you're in. Be nice to people until you're my age ... and you have your own TV show. — Chelsea Handler

I'm bi-lots of things but lingual isn't one of them. Wait, did I mean to say that? — Triple H

Standup comedy is fun. I mean other than having to experience the excruciating lonlieness and unacknowledged sadness that results in funny. — Dov Davidoff

You shouldn't say anything mean about people who can't read. You should write it instead. — Will Rogers

You know, 'Jake 2.0' had some funny things in it; I mean, I needed my sense of humor to do that part. — Christopher Gorham

Don't you wish we all lived in black light ... for one thing, it would mean an end to toothpaste as we know it — Josh Stern

A shadow crossed Andrea's face. "I don't want to be his TWT-IHFB." "What does that mean?" "That Weird Thing I Haven't Fucked Before." I choked. — Ilona Andrews

But we don't do things like that!" said Vimes. "You can't go around arresting the Thieves' Guild. I mean, we'd be at it all day! — Terry Pratchett

I think maybe to survive, I mean to just get through the day - I'm not saying that everything is hilariously funny. — Roz Chast

I don't know why small chocolates are called fun-sized; I mean, if I called a midget fun-sized, they'd kick off. — Karl Pilkington

She is funny without ever being mean. — John Green

Just because I'm insane doesn't mean I have to act all crazy. — Diana Rowland

I wasn't exactly sure what "nothing good" meant, but I could imagine in this world of humans, "nothing good" could mean a lot of bad things. — Tamra Torero

The drivers here are horrible. And by horrible, I mean they don't realize I have someplace to be. — Maria Semple

Comedians usually are rooting for the underdog. I mean to take a shot at an underdog I think is really stupid and low and not funny. — Joy Behar

Because, like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, I was embraced by the gays. They loved me and praised me. I was funny and so mean and mature for my age! — Tina Fey

You mean you don't want to come in and hold my hand while I piss? — Nenia Campbell

I used to think that everything was just being funny but now I don't know. I mean, how can you tell? — Andy Warhol

Unlikely things to see in a Valentine's card - "I may be dyslexic but that doesn't mean I don't vole you." — Russell Howard

She whistled when she noticed my back. I assume because of my injuries. I mean, my ass just isn't that spectacular. — Lish McBride

I love when I can reboot people when they are being mean to others ... — Richard Paul Evans

Accelerando means in tempo. Don't rush. — Eugene Ormandy

We were talking about urban youth. And by urban I mean lives in a city not urban as in black like white people use it. — Hannibal Buress

A dimwit thinks nothing is funny unless it's mean. — Stephen King

Well, life is dark, isn't it? Mostly, it's dreadful. At the same time, death is funny too. I mean, look at the fuss we make of it. — Upamanyu Chatterjee

Witty and mean is easy - but fond and funny is hard. — Steven Moffat

Do you mean that Zane is some kind of bird magnet? — C.J. Milbrandt

...he was such an ass - I mean if he was any more of an ass, he'd be saddled and ridden in a small pueblo in Mexico.
--Ashland — Lila Felix

We're gonna have to sweeten some of these jokes for the CD. You know what sweeten means, right? Sweeten is a show-biz term for "add sugar to". — Mitch Hedberg

You're nasty and you're loud,
you're mean enough for two,
If I could be a cloud,
I'd rain all day on you. — Jack Prelutsky

I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown? — Joe Pesci

Just because the kid's cute, doesn't mean you're not the father. — Will Smith

Just because I'm married to Doug doesn't mean I can't be here for you. — Kristen Schaal

I mean emotionally, women are like Bruce Lee and we're like Donald Duck. An' I think a lotta guys are afraid of that. — Jonathan Ashworth

I don't mean he missed him, but he just didn't get him when he put the tag on him. — Jerry Coleman

People always say, "When did you know you were funny?" They don't mean that in a bad way - this already makes me sound like such a jerk. — Rob Huebel

If you spelled George Morgan wrong on Google it didn't say, "Did you mean George Morgan?" It simply replied, "Run while you still have the chance. — Tara Sivec

They can't expect anyone to actually pay for a shirt that says, 'I (picture of an elephant) the San Diego Zoo.' What does that even mean? — Adam Rex

A lot of the things I say I'm just trying to be funny ... I don't really mean everything I say, because I'm not totally that airhead. — Paris Hilton

Google "brooklyn writer" and you'll get, Did you mean: the future of literature as we know it? — Colson Whitehead

Equestrian and sailing are sports for people growing up on the mean streets of Connecticut. — Craig Ferguson

If I were to insult people and mean it, that wouldn't be funny. — Don Rickles

And I'd be damned if I let the first photograph of me in ten years be taken on fucking Amtrak. I mean, the light alone. — Elizabeth Little

There are 17 more shopping days until Christmas. So, guys, that means 16 more days till we start shopping, right? — Conan O'Brien

Keep trying?
I'd rather keep walking. I mean, whisky is whisky — Ljupka Cvetanova

What's purple mean?"
Adrian put his hand on the door. "Gotta go, Sage. Dont want to keep Dorothy waiting — Richelle Mead

People are funny. They often don't mean to be, and that's what makes it even more endearing. — Jennifer Lee

Zombies, deadheads, corpsicles. What's the difference? They don't care. They don't have feelings to hurt. — Daniel Waters

Why it's simply impassible!
Alice: Why, don't you mean impossible?
Door: No, I do mean impassible. (chuckles) Nothing's impossible! — Lewis Carroll

I guess the only thing to do now is meet his parents. I'm sure they're decent people. I mean they gotta be if they named their son Gaylord Focker. — Robert De Niro

Your pupils are dilated. Does that mean you want to fuck me or eat me? Because I might have a problem with one of those.
-Dex to Sloane — Charlie Cochet

I frequently observe that one pretty face would be followed by five and thirty frights. — Jane Austen

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be a dickhead. Well, I did. — Simone Elkeles

I find what I do for a living really funny. I mean, acting is kind of a hilarious thing for a grown man to call a job. — Christian Bale

"And then we played Ping-Pong - "
"Not pool? I always assumed he was a billiards man - I mean, it's so handy the way he keeps a stick up his - — Claire LaZebnik

You there, you look like a well-rounded lady, oh yes, and I mean well-rounded — TBBishiXO

She doesn't get it. Being funny when you don't mean to be is terrible. Having to laugh at yourself along with everyone else is humiliating. — Lynda Mullaly Hunt

I mean, why would you want the funny sidekick when you can have the heroine? — Lauren Layne

She shuddered. What is it with slobbery kissers? Are they trying to drown us in spit? I mean, Jesus, swallow every now and then. — Tammara Webber

Someone's been mean to you! Tell me who it is, so I can punch him tastefully. — Ralph Bakshi

What's a dementor?"
I mean, I can't even. "Nora, you are no longer my sister."
"So it's some Harry Potter thing," she says. — Becky Albertalli

What makes big boobs and perkiness so attractive to boys? I mean, really. Two round, mounds of fat and a fake smile. Yeah, winning attributes. — Gena Showalter

Emery gives me a rock that she's colored on. She whispers in my ear. You can smash people's fingers with it when they're mean. — Jillian Dodd

I'm sure this is a diversionary ploy. But that doesn't mean it isn't real.
-Abe Sapien — John Arcudi

Oh! That was poetry!" said Pippin. "Do you really mean to start before the break of day? — J.R.R. Tolkien

So does that mean if you won't fuck me because I'm high, I could fuck you because you're not? — K.A. Mitchell

Now I really feel sorry for her. Your hand is as bad as Rob's paddle," Cassie shuddered.
"Thank you."
"I didn't mean it as a compliment! — Breanna Hayse

I just don't know what I'd do without a brain, Simone!" I say. "I mean, what's a person without one? — Randa Abdel-Fattah

I don't mean like balls-in-your-face or gifts of pornography and butt plugs romantic, just cute, over-the-pants, PG-13 movie stuff. — Frances Winkler

Anything for you, Dru. And I mean it. Now, be quiet and let me concentrate. — Lili St. Crow

I mean, we're ninjas."
"Well maybe you're a ninja," I said
"You're just a really loud, awkward ninja," Margo said, "but we are both ninjas. — John Green

When somebody says, "The last thing I want to do is hurt you," it means they've got other things to do first. — Mark Schiff