Funny May Quotes: top 72 famous quotes about Funny May

Funny May Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny May quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

When you're doing standup you're kind of doing, 'Hey. I thought of this. This may be funny.' — Zach Galifianakis

Am Anfang war Gott? It may have been true, but it was not germane. — Stephen Craig

As I may or may not say to the Lord on Judgment Day, "You ask a lot of questions for someone who has so much explaining to do" — Robert Breault

The rewards for being sane may not be very many, but knowing what's funny is one of them. — Kingsley Amis

I have only one heart to give and one mind to lose. May I someday find a woman who will take them both. — Michael W. Grimard

Buffoons may have serious faces behind their mask! — Nelson Jack

I may just be on the outskirts of being okay. — Pawan Mishra

It's a funny thing, because I think that my mother and I may finally be speaking the same language. But somehow, now words don't seem as necessary — Gayle Forman

I may not have been completely honest about that."
"You? Less than truthful? I'm shocked, Nikolai. Shocked and horrified. — Leigh Bardugo

The man may not be dead, but he was certainly stiff. And this had nothing to do with rigor mortis. — Sherrilyn Kenyon

If things do not change,in the future we may all speak spell check. — Tom Althouse

It may not seem funny now, because it's happening to us, but centuries from this moment, people will laugh in wonder. — Matt Taibbi

May God defend me from my friends: I can defend myself from my enemies. — Voltaire

There are three things to remember when teaching: know your stuff; know whom you are stuffing; and then stuff them elegantly. — Lola J. May

Airplanes may kill you, but they ain't likely to hurt you. — Satchel Paige

The girl may have been tiny, but everything about her said, I'm not scared of you, so piss off. — Christine Manzari

Talk about getting off tangent. My mother's friend may have just killed his wife and my parents are sitting there talking about cows. — Wendy Lichtman

If you do a Western that's funny, there's no way people don't call it a spoof or a parody, even though it may not be. — Adam McKay

You are not to say 'stink,' " interrupted Helen; "at least, you may say it, but you must pretend you are being funny while you say it. — E. M. Forster

Onward we stagger, and if the tanks come, may God help the tanks. — William Orlando Darby

A princess always takes care that her words are honeyed, for she may have to eat them — Christina Dodd

Unlikely things to see in a Valentine's card - "I may be dyslexic but that doesn't mean I don't vole you." — Russell Howard

One person may look and only see a tree, whereas others may look and see a tree with leaves. — Adrian Sandvaer

Young Frank Pastore may have pitched the biggest victory of 1979. Maybe the biggest victory of the year! — Jerry Coleman

If life is just a highway, then the soul is just a car. And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are. — Jim Steinman

I'm not filthy rich! I'm not as rich as people think. It's funny, isn't it? — Imelda May

Barack Obama may be black, but John McCain is the first Albino presidential candidate: he's completely see-through! — George Lopez

I'm the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern. — Mickey Rooney

It may sound funny, but I got a thrill when I was pulled into a crowd once. It was like 'How am I going to get out of this?! — Nick Carter

Not everyone who stares likes us; we may look weird enough to get everyone's attention. — M.F. Moonzajer

That boy may have been born on third base but he sure as shit ain't scored a triple. — Sarah Hall

May we now all rise and sing the eternal school hymn: "Attack. Attack. Attack Attack Attack!" — Danny Baker

It's a funny kind of month, October. For the really keen cricket fan it's when you discover that your wife left you in May. — Denis Norden

Payday at my house is like the Academy Awards. My wife says: May I have the envelope please. — Henny Youngman

Cooking without wine is like sex alone. You may get the job done, but you don't really care once it's over. — Andrew Grey

All women may not be beautiful but every woman can look beautiful. — Amit Kalantri

I may not always be right, but when I am, I admit it — Ken Murray

How happy is the Optimist / To whom life shows its sunny side / His horse may lose, his ship may list, / But he always sees the funny side. — Phyllis McGinley

We may not be all that bright, Jace said, but at least we are alive. — Cassandra Clare

Afore me! It is so very late,
That we may call it early by and by. — William Shakespeare

It may be prodigious, but it's all Greek to me! — Herge

If you can't be a hero, you can at least be funny while being a chicken. — Ina May Gaskin

The path may not be left for an instant. If it could be left, it would not be the path. — Confucius

Sadness is like growing of hairs around our ass; we may not like it or want it, but it is surprisingly always there. — M.F. Moonzajer

A comedy isn't about being funny ... a comedy is about characters who dare to know that they may choose a happy ending after all. — Gary D. Schmidt

We may have been like needles in a hay stack, but they were like needles ... in a stack of needles — D.J. MacHale

I may not beleive in God, but I believe in guilt and no one wants to dick around with eternity, even if it isn't there. — Jonathan Tropper

Situated in some nebulous distance I do what I do so that the universal balance of which I am a part may remain a balance. — Antonio Porchia

This funny thing we call love, how simple it may seem. To say it is sometimes enough but to feel it is a dream. — Raneem Kayyali

Wealth and rank are what people desire, but unless they are obtained in the right way they may not be possessed. — Confucius

May this continent, the last explored by humankind, be the first one to be spared by humankind. — Jacques-Yves Cousteau

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. — Winston Churchill

Cultivate your curves - they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided. — Mae West

The man may be the head of the household. But the woman is the neck, and she can turn the head whichever way she pleases. — Nia Vardalos

Benedict may not be as hurt as he really is. — Jerry Coleman

I'm sure I look a wreck. But he's the one who wrecked me so he may as well take a good long look at what he's done. — Monica Murphy

May the fleas of a thousand camels invade the crotch of the person that ruins your day. And may their arms be to short too scratch — Keisha Keenleyside

Forgive me now - tomorrow I may no longer feel guilty. — Ashleigh Brilliant

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly. — P. J. O'Rourke

Brookfield High School. How may I direct your call? No, sir, this is not a waste- disposal unit, I'm afraid you have the wrong number. — Jaclyn Moriarty

Christopher Columbus — Louisa May Alcott

Never abandon your dreams. You may regret it for the rest of your life. — Fabiola Gianotti

What smells good may not always taste good, I leaned this the day I tried to eat a scented candle. — Kenny D. Eichenberg

That you, sister. May you be the mother of a bishop. — Brendan Behan

May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers. — Tina Fey

You may say what you want to, but in my opinion she had more sand in her than any girl I ever see; in my opinion she was just full of sand. — Mark Twain

The virtuous will be sure to speak uprightly; but those whose speech is upright may not be virtuous. — Confucius

Beer may cause you to digress - and lead a happier life. — Michael Jackson

I nurture very good intentions about you. May you die in peace. — Fakeer Ishavardas

Mr. Speaker. I said the honorable member was a liar it is true and I am sorry for it. The honorable member may place the punctuation where he pleases. — Richard Brinsley Sheridan

Don't come closer to me at any time without make-up. I may slap and make you feel the taste of death. — Jeevagan Nagarajan

Dear 338171 (May I call you 338?) — Noel Coward