Funny Man Up Quotes
Collection of top 54 famous quotes about Funny Man Up
Funny Man Up Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Man Up quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
A Polish man in a helicopter. Goes up to 800 feet. Down it comes! What happened? "It got chilly up there, so I turned off the fan!"
— Henny Youngman
I know a guy who had his doctor say, "Take some weight off, go to a health club." The man lost 20 pounds in one week! The machine tore his leg off!
— Henny Youngman
Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie THE WAY WE WERE twice, voluntarily.
— Rita Rudner
Serenity of spirit and turbulence of action should make up the sum of a man's life.
— Vita Sackville-West
Alright, manly man," he says. "Go prove that you're a man.
— Jessica Sorensen
A company is known by the people it keeps.
— Will Rogers
Life's funny. Sometimes it's your oyster, and sometimes you're it's bitch-slapped man-whore.
— Lois Greiman
Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
— Mark Twain
A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, "Doc, how do I stand?" The doctor says, "That's what puzzles me!"
— Henny Youngman
There once was an old man of Lyme who married three wives at a time when asked, 'Why a third?' he replied 'One's absurd! and bigamy, sir, is a crime!'
— William Cosmo Monkhouse
There have been man-on-the-street interviews for years, but insulting people is not that funny to me.
— Billy Eichner
A man up in front of a judge says "I don't recognise this court." "Why not?" "It's been redecorated since the last time I was here."
— Frank Carson
It's funny, because I'm a man of strong opinions and when I make one, I stand by it even if it starts to appear incorrect to me after a while.
— Danny Bonaduce
A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.
— Henny Youngman
This is a young man who is only 25, and you have to say, her has answered every question that has ever been asked.
— David Coleman
![Funny Man Up Quotes By Lake Bell: I wrote an entire movie [Man up] about](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/funny-man-up-quotes-by-lake-bell-327486.jpg "Funny Man Up Quotes By Lake Bell: I wrote an entire movie [Man up] about")
I wrote an entire movie [Man up] about how important I think voices are, so it was funny.
— Lake Bell
I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
— Zsa Zsa Gabor
Many a man was caused to perish by something that he and many men cherish.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Y are you called the cheese man?
— Barbara Park
A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, "Can I park here?" "No" says the cop. "What about all these other cars?" "They didn't ask!"
— Henny Youngman
"And then we played Ping-Pong - ""Not pool? I always assumed he was a billiards man - I mean, it's so handy the way he keeps a stick up his - — Claire LaZebnik
In a blackout, a Polish man was stuck on an escalator for two hours. I asked him, "Why didn't you walk down?" He said, "because I was going up!"
— Henny Youngman
No man is the boss of his own house, but he can make up for it, he thinks, by making a dog play dead.
— W.C. Fields
A man says to his mate: "My wife is a twin." His mate says, "How do you tell them apart?" The man says: "Her brother has a beard."
— Frank Carson
A man can well afford to be as bold as brass, my good fellow, when he gets gold in exchange!
— Charles Dickens
A man who views the world the same ...
— Muhammad Ali
Chris Rock is a very funny man.
— Willie Geist
To the man on crutches, dressed in camouflage, who stole my wallet ... you can hide but you can't run.
— Milton Jones
Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.
— Tommy Cooper
A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.
— G. Gordon Liddy
I could pull off a 'man', but never, quite, a 'dude'.
— Adrian Barnes
A car hit a Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living."
— Henny Youngman
The Irish Six Million Dollar man only cost three quid.
— Frank Carson
My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?
— Margaret Smith
If no meant no then every man would die a virgin.
— Daniel Tosh
He is not an ideal husband. I am his wife.
— Ljupka Cvetanova
You want me to be a man,older than you, who goes by the name of Roullard.
— Wendelin Van Draanen
In a man, I like funny guys. A guy who doesn't have a lot of therapy, who's mature. A man, not a boy.
— Maura Tierney
This man dresses like an unmade bed.
— Henny Youngman
I beg your pardon; I am drunk without a drink. English wine & words are vulnerable to every man.
— Santosh Kalwar
You can always tell when a man's well informed. His views are pretty much like your own.
— H. Jackson Brown Jr.
I went to the store and bought eight apples; the clerk said, "Do you want these in a bag?" I said, "Oh, no, man, I juggle."
— Mitch Hedberg
Most man can think no better than a child! This fact perfectly explains why there are so many funny beliefs!
— Mehmet Murat Ildan
Money is what makes a man act funny.
— Eminem