Funny M And M Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about Funny M And M
Funny M And M Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny M And M quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've still got it.'
— Larry David
When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving.
— Steven Wright
I look crazy, but I'm not. And the funny thing is, that other people don't look crazy, but they are.
— Eden Ahbez
Remember, I'm the only person her who's paid to be nice to you. But not too nice. Give me any lip and I'll break your face. OK?
— Orson Scott Card
I feel sorry for James Blunt, he has to wake up every morning and think 'Oh my God, I'm James Blunt, what have I done?'
— Bill Bailey
You know how old I am? I'm so old, I remember when Letterman used to be funny and it was presidents who were serious. That's how old I am.
— Rush Limbaugh
I'm happy to start on one topic and end on another one entirely, as long as it's funny.
— Dave Barry
I'm sure the other kids wouldn't mind not being lectured by another toddler over the virtues of sharing and the mental benefits of toy blocks.
— Hayden Thorne
I'm somebody who believes in funny things, and laughing, but I do like for them to come from a place that addresses the human condition.
— Natasha Lyonne
I'm not on a diet. And it's funny cause people go 'Well, then why do you drink diet soda?' So I can eat regular cake.
— Gabriel Iglesias
I'm probably the guy who keeps it loose around the room and tries to joke around with guys before the game, keeping things funny.
— Patrick Kane
Oh, hey, kettle, I'm pot and wow, you're black." - Owen
— Olivia Cunning
I'm a sucker for Thought Catalog. Shelby Fero is really funny on Twitter. And Patton Oswalt, he's sort of like a Twitter throb.
— Addison Timlin
Don't even think of arguing with me. I'm an old woman and if you fight me about it, it could give me a heart attack.
— Sara Humphreys
I would imagine that Bret would taste like a warm goat cheese, and Jemaine would taste like harvati with dill. Hmm ... I'm hungry actually.
— Kristen Schaal
I'm kinda tired. I was up all night trying to round off infinity. Then I got bored and went out and painted passing lines on curved roads.
— Steven Wright
I'm the decider, and I decide what is best.
— George W. Bush
I'm a politician, and as you know, politicians are rarely very funny.
— Nicola Sturgeon
I'm doing what I love, and then I get months and months of rest. I have a lot of money for a 21-year old. I can't stand it when actors complain.
— Jennifer Lawrence
I laugh every day. There are days when my laughs are pretty hollow. Dust comes out of your mouth, and your bones make a funny sound. But I'm laughing.
— James L. Brooks
The goal has been not to get pigeonholed. I like working in different genres. I'm gonna try to be entertaining and funny and do my usual thing.
— Adam Mansbach
While I'm fixing up this idiot. I want you to get some sleep ... and tell Amano that if he bothers you, I'll break his other leg.
— Julie Kagawa
I'm never afraid to try something if I think it's funny. And I know I'll regret it if I don't.
— Seann William Scott
In Pizza Express you can get garlic bread with cheese and tomato. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but that's a pizza.
— Jimmy Carr
I'll never forget how she told us. She took us all out to brunch, and she was like, 'You guys, I'm keeping this one.'
— Amy Schumer
I'm afraid of the dark,and suspicious of the light.
— Woody Allen
I know more damn perverts, at schools and all, than anybody you ever met, and they're always being perverty when I'm around.
— J.D. Salinger
I want to let my fans know I love them and I'm coming your way and I'm bringing truckloads of funny.
— Tracy Morgan
Well, evolution's just a theory.' And, I'm thinking to myself, 'Well, thank goodness gravity's a law.'
— Marc Maron
I'm a Twitter addict. Jose Andres is a serial tweeter. It's funny to see which chefs have embraced it, and the different paths they take.
— Anthony Bourdain
I'm going to get married again because I'm more mature now, and I need some kitchen stuff.
— Wendy Liebman
I love doing things that are titillating. I think race can be very funny, and I think I'm very comfortable discussing it and bringing it up.
— Michael Rapaport
Yes, I'm back," he said, "And look who I ran into."Horace grinned at him. "i hope you ran into him hard."
"As hard as I could. — John Flanagan
I'm walking out my door to get like a Snapple, and someone's like 'yo man, you want to buy some heroin?' 'No ... got any Snapple?'
— Mike Birbiglia
I'm rarely rude except accidentally, and that doesn't really count...
— Laura L. Sullivan
I hope God speaks English. If I get up to heaven and have to point at a menu, I'm gonna be pissed.
— Daniel Tosh
I call myself the Amusement Park. That's because I'm funny and scary at the same time.
— Terry Crews
People want me to be funny all the time. They think I'm being funny no matter what I say or do and that's not the case.
— Christopher Guest
I didn't go to college at all, any college, and I'm not saying you wasted your time or money, but look at me, I'm a huge celebrity.
— Ellen DeGeneres
If I'm in something funny, I like to try and find some kind of serious line in it that people can relate to.
— Ron Livingston
Is he following? Can you have a flaming gay moment or something and check?""Why do I have to be the flaming gay one? — Finn Marlowe
I've been vegan for about 10 and a half years. It's been all good. I'm obviously much healthier
— Woody Harrelson
After being impaled by a javelin, while officiating- I'm doing fine now, just resting and hanging around.
— Jeremy Campbell
What can I say? I'm like a playground water fountain, I live to wet people's pants.
— Frances Winkler
It's funny, because I'm so associated with digital art and computer art, and yet I spend so little time in front of the computer.
— Keith Fullerton Whitman
I don't know now if I'm funny. I just keep talking and hope that I hit something that's funny.
— Craig Ferguson
I like to have fun and be funny, but I'm much more of a thinker.
— Keenen Ivory Wayans
I know what you want. And I know what you need. But I'm gonna screw it up, yeah, cause I'm an idiot. And I'm your boyfriend.
— Jimmy Fallon
That just sounds so funny, A-list. Really, I'm a mom, and that's how I'm going to be all my life.
— Angelina Jolie
I'm good at coming up with wacky characters and funny dialogue.
— Marlon Wayans
You aren't a morning person, are you?" he mused."No, I'm not. There is a reason mornin' and mournin' sound the same. — L.A. Casey
It's funny, because I'm a man of strong opinions and when I make one, I stand by it even if it starts to appear incorrect to me after a while.
— Danny Bonaduce
I'm Dave Chappelle and I'm a chronic masturbator.
— Dave Chappelle
Huge Jackman has divorced his wife and happened upon my picture in some old article and decided that I'm the woman for him?~ Susan — Sherrilyn Kenyon
I'm just not one of those naturally funny, relaxed actors who enjoy the spotlight and are so good at it.
— Heath Ledger
Maybe you should make me a list of people I can kill and ways in which they're allowed to die," he said. "You are not funny." "I'm very funny.
— Ilona Andrews
I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend.
— Edward De Bono
No, I don't want you to leave. I'm just grabbing your coat and nudging your toward the door for fun #AHOLE
— A.O. Storm
The funny thing is, the girls that I'm always up against for roles are pretty nice and cool, like Emma Watson. She's awesome.
— Amanda Seyfried
I've got a hockey record, I took off my skate and tried to stab a guy, I'm the only person who ever tried that.
— Adam Sandler
His eyes widened. Oh, hell, you think I'm going to let him bite me? No way. It's too risky and way too guy.
— C.C. Hunter
Remember. Make him cry uncle.Cry uncle, my posterior. I'm going to make him cry like a girl who broke her mom's designer heels at the prom. — Sherrilyn Kenyon
I like to fill my tub up with water, then turn the shower on and act like I'm in a submarine that's been hit .
— Steven Wright
I'm bad and I'm going to hell, and I don't care. I'd rather be in hell than anywhere where you are.
— William Faulkner
I'm a vegetarian, I'm not strict. I eat fish. And duck, but they're nearly fish aren't they.
— Bill Bailey
Do you reckon the Queen has ever pulled a blanket up so just her head's showing and gone 'Philip, look at me! I'm a stamp!'
— Russell Howard
I think it's love.''Funny.'
'I'm serious.'
'And your support for this is ... ?'
'A feeling.'
'You need more than that. — Doug Dorst
I'm a terrific mimic, and you can feel my funny bone.
— Madhur Bhandarkar
You can never look that tough in glasses ... You never see somebody push up their glasses and say, "I'm gonna kick your ass."
— Jim Gaffigan
