Funny He Who Quotes
Collection of top 57 famous quotes about Funny He Who
Funny He Who Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny He Who quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
I asked him "Who said you could fool around with my wife" he said everybody.
— Rodney Dangerfield
There was an edge to his expression, like he didn't trust anyone who was more attractive than he was.
— Marissa Meyer
A man always blames the woman who fools him. In the same way he blames the door he walks into in the dark.
— H.L. Mencken
A skeptic is a person who, when he sees the handwriting on the wall, claims it is a forgery.
— Morris Bender
You can't kill us all, human.' He was right. I raised the machine gun a little. 'True, but who's going to be first in line? — Laurell K. Hamilton
For every guy who loves being a dad, there's another who realizes too late that he's created something his wife loves more than him.
— Mark R. Brand
When I was a kid I had a friend who worked in a radio station. Whenever we walked under a bridge, you couldn't hear what he said.
— Steven Wright
God writes a lot of comedy ... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
— Garrison Keillor
Who's your daddy?'Myrnin stared at him as if he'd gone completely mental. 'Excuse me? — Rachel Caine
If he didn't want to be mauled by a sex-starved woman who hadn't gotten any skin in months, he'd better keep his hands to himself.
— Jody Wallace
Most of my relatives are police marksmen, apart from my grandad who was a bank robber. He died recently, surrounded by his family.
— Milton Jones
Who would want him? he asks himself. Certainly not Ahana, who's funny, bright and so beautiful that it hurts.
— Durjoy Datta
I lived with a guy who had OCD and I used to put Rice Krispies in his slippers before I went out. He went mental, but not before he counted them all.
— Russell Howard
He who laughs last ... just didn't get the joke.
— Carroll Bryant
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
— Groucho Marx
I don't have the first clue who he is talking about, because all I worry about is Jerome.
— Jerome James
At this point I'm sure he's more plastic than person, but most people who hate wrinkles become Daleks over time, anyway.
— Ashley Poston
To be sitting on the bench behind somebody who only started to play when he was 30 is not funny.
— Jens Lehmann
One of my favorite comedies is 'Groundhog Day' and 'Scrooged.' I love Bill Murray, and I think he's a great example of an actor who is funny.
— Fiona Gubelmann
He had a real mother, and a stepfather named Bart who Martin called Fart but only with his brothers and James
— Marthe Jocelyn
Here's a guy who when he runs, he moves faster.
— John Madden
A comedian is not a person who opens a funny door - he's the person who opens a door funny.
— Chuck Jones
I wondered if I could make him laugh like that, if he was the kind of guy who believes that girls could also be funny.
— Leila Howland
To be fair he is Lord Byron," Jane said. "I don't know many people who haven't slept with him at one time or another." Jane Fairfax — Michael Thomas Ford
He who laughs last didn't get the joke.
— Charles De Gaulle
Yes, I'm back," he said, "And look who I ran into."Horace grinned at him. "i hope you ran into him hard."
"As hard as I could. — John Flanagan
I have an erratic drummer for anybody who's just listening to this, he can keep time, but just in spurts.
— Demetri Martin
The man who tries to be funny is lost. To lose one's naturalness is always to lose the sympathy of your audience.
— Harold Lloyd
A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.
— G. Gordon Liddy
He who desires nothing, hopes for nothing, and is afraid of nothing, cannot be an artist.
— Anton Chekhov
There once was an old man of Lyme who married three wives at a time when asked, 'Why a third?' he replied 'One's absurd! and bigamy, sir, is a crime!'
— William Cosmo Monkhouse
Unlike Tania, who was so slim, Rykoff looked as if he'd been given an order to get fatan order he had been delighted to obey. — Henning Mankell
So I flirt with disaster once or twice. Who doesn't?"He snorted. "You don't just flirt with disaster, you have intercourse with it. — Dannika Dark
I'm sure I look a wreck. But he's the one who wrecked me so he may as well take a good long look at what he's done.
— Monica Murphy
Plans?" he snorted. "I'm ninety-three years old! Who in tarnation makes plans at my age? I could stop breathin' any minute now.
— Linda Howard
He forced himself forward trying to seem innocent without acting like someone who was guilty who was trying to act innocent.
— James Dashner
I don't know who the hell Paul Lynde is, or why he's funny, and I prefer it to be a mystery to me.
— Paul Lynde
In particular, there was a butler in a blue coat and bright buttons, who gave quite a winey flavour to the table beer; he poured it out so superbly.
— Charles Dickens
If you had a friend who was a tightrope walker, and you were walking down a sidewalk, and he fell, that would be completely unacceptable.
— Mitch Hedberg
Remember what the Bible says: He who is without sin, cast the first rock. And I shall smoketh it.
— Dave Chappelle
He who lies down with dogs shall rise with fleas
— Christina Dodd
He who laughs ... lasts.
— Erma Bombeck
