Funny Funny Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Funny Funny

Funny Funny Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

We all flinched as Ray flipped the breaker back on, but my laboratory again failed to erupt in flames. It must be a mad scientist record. — Richard Roberts

Funny that. We live in islands of Hours and we never seem to have time enough for anything ... — Clive Barker

Hide your gold, your faith and the reason of you journey. — Eduard Heine

For the hackneyed art of lying without injury to anyone, Rushbrook, to his shame, was proficient. — Elizabeth Inchbald

I think I got a lot of my 'funny' DNA from my mother, who had a glorious sense of the ridiculous. — Christopher Buckley

Her hands were large and knuckley and calloused, made to hold a rifle, not a needle. — Hilary Mantel

One does not simply ring Roland.
Oh boy. I supposed I would get a lecture on the dangers of wandering into Mordor next. — Ilona Andrews

White people, you did not get a receipt for niggas, you can not return us! — Katt Williams

Love is like Pi: natural, irrational, and very important. — Lisa Hoffman

Woah, their gorgeous not so fast I haven't even catched your name or your number - Jaxson Evans — Brit Gosik

If it weren't for physics and law enforcement, I'd be unstoppable. — Darynda Jones

Do try The House by fresh new author, Susannah Mansfield, it's funny, sad and very different, you'll love the characters and the stories. — Susannah Mansfield

People say 'Bill, are you an optimist?' And I say, 'I hope so.' — Bill Bailey

I'm so careless that now i don't even care if i cared about you. — Me

Bursting into flame would definitely blow my cover. — Rob Thomas

I think people like comedies and I think concept driven comedies seem to be working when it's a clear concept and you deliver funny stuff. — Todd Phillips

And there's no damage to the car. Except to the car itself. — Murray Walker

When I saw a sign on the freeway that said, "Los Angeles 445 miles," I said to myself, "I've got to get out of this lane." — Franklyn Ajaye

It is funny how no one seems to want my always excellent advice. — Anne Lamott

This is not a dress. This is a sacred robe of the ancient psychedelic monks. — Noel Fielding

The funny part about Islam is; even if you rape a woman, it would be considered as her fault. — M.F. Moonzajer

If I let you go are you going to hit me again?"
"What do you think?"
"Then I'm not going to let you go. — Sarah Mayberry

Fuck you."
"Promise? — Carole Cummings

I don't want want to go to jail, I'm fragile. — Adam Sandler

That is a fart without wind ... in reference to when you can't back up what you say. very funny. — Faye Kellerman

More you know, better advice you give. Less you know, more advice you give. — Gerry Geek

Never join with your friend when he abuses his horse or his wife, unless the one is about to be sold, the other to be buried. — Charles Caleb Colton

With improv, it's a combination of listening and not trying to be funny. — Kristen Wiig

The only real significance she had attached to the memory was that it was funny what stuck with you. — David Foster Wallace

-"He loved her ... It was noble of him. It was beautiful."
-"It was stupid. — Lloyd Alexander

Culver is a language magnet school. What it's mainly a magnet for, if you want to know the truth, is nerds. — Dave Barry

Blankets make great traps for the clinically insane, but a straightjacket might work better. — Nicole McKay

That Asian guy is really good at kicking. Shocking. Someone is pressing 'A' really fast somewhere. — Daniel Tosh

Happiness to a dog is what lies on the other side of the door. — Charlton Ogburn

The principles of comedy are the principles of comedy. I can hear funny. — Stephan Pastis

It's off the leg and into the left field of Doug Rader. — Jerry Coleman

Ferrari leads, McLaren second, McLaren second, Jordan third, and Benneton fifth and sixth. — Murray Walker

If people are talking behind your back, then just fart. — Thabang Gideon Magaola

Coe has smashed the world record, 1:44.92 seconds has never been run easier — Ron Pickering

Boy what a hotel that was, why they stole my towel. — Rodney Dangerfield

She's not pretty. Little, funny Fernie. She's not pretty. Poor Fernie. — Amy Harmon

Get in my way again, boy, and you're going to learn that Velkan isn't the only one in this family who has fangs. Retta to Viktor — Sherrilyn Kenyon

Variety and the Hollywood Reporter, two publications read more faithfully in Hollywood than the Koran is in Mecca. — Jack Paar

I came up with a good idea ... see-through skin. — Karl Pilkington

It's funny how guilty people start to question your spirituality and education only because they have nothing to say that will justify their faults. — J.B. Albano

There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world. — Jean Baudrillard

The greatest thief this world has ever produced is procrastination, and he is still at large. — Josh Billings

There's no such thing as too much power! — Wolfgang Gullich

Be careful, though."
"Aren't I always?"
"No, I think the word for how you usually are is 'reckless. — Veronica Roth

Funny how God offers you everything you've asked for, only to force you to turn it away. — Sunjeev Sahota

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me. — Warren Buffett

Tell Savitar I said hi. — Sherrilyn Kenyon

Chomsky is a pencil-and-paper theoretician who wouldn't know Jabba the Hutt from the Cookie Monster, — Steven Pinker

You know what's funny to me? Attitude. — Don Rickles

Thomas was sick of being accused of knowing things. — James Dashner

If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question? — Lily Tomlin

His knives are nice. Mine is better. — C.J. Redwine

It's funny; Luther and I have written many songs together, but we've never written songs in the same room. — Richard Marx

Mr. Speaker. I said the honorable member was a liar it is true and I am sorry for it. The honorable member may place the punctuation where he pleases. — Richard Brinsley Sheridan

I once asked my father for a dollar for the school picnic. He told me how he once killed a grizzly bear with his loose-leaf notebook. — Bill Cosby

I had a dream about you last night. We watched pornography together, but purely for the storyline. — Michael Summers

Text messages are dying a funny kind of death. — Anonymous

I find it very difficult to be funny, it's much easier to do tragedy than it is to do comedy. — Eric Drooker

She wanted to be given a funny script so that she could make it funnier. — Nick Hornby

She shuddered. What is it with slobbery kissers? Are they trying to drown us in spit? I mean, Jesus, swallow every now and then. — Tammara Webber

The ballgame is over ... in this inning. — Jerry Coleman

Being good has nothing to do with being a Boy !!. Better is the latter! — Nelson Jack

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success? — Jerry Seinfeld

Groupies will give you Chlamydia, Edward."
"Right, Virg. Groupies throw underwear on stage. They don't throw flowers. — Andrew Barger

Most man can think no better than a child! This fact perfectly explains why there are so many funny beliefs! — Mehmet Murat Ildan

In the silence, the bear died. It was a cute death, with funny music. — Orson Scott Card

I'd rather hug Magic Johnson after he rolled around in barbed wire. — Jim Norton

He runs to the sink to spit it out. I grin. There's nothing quite as funny as someone else's misery. — Holly Black

Moving on was going to require leaving the woods and getting a friend set that didn't have gray hairs, hip replacements and a few false teeth. — Rebecca Brooks

You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible thing about sarcasm.
It's really funny. — Brandon Sanderson

As humans we speak one language ... — Avril Lavigne

Mitt Romney had a horse competing in the Olympics. He didn't win. But next year, he'll be competing in 'Dancing with the Stars.' — David Letterman

It's funny; recently I've started to notice people's impersonations of me, and it's basically like a hyperactive child. — Dave Grohl

Luck is merely a product of the happily delusional mind. — Lois Greiman

How much detention did you get?
Two weeks. One per arsehole. — Stephanie Perkins

Please stop waiting for a map. We reward those who draw maps, not those who follow them. — Seth Godin

Keep the other person's well being in mind when you feel an attack of soul-purging truth coming on. — Betty White

Forever is a very long time, especially the bit towards the end. — Janna Levin

All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me. — Mitch Hedberg

Nobody wants to give up a weekend-long excuse to dress up and attempt to outshine one another. — Elizabeth Eulberg

Faith is Hope on a treadmill. Love is the reason we stay on. — Solange Nicole

It's so funny to think that I used to be a model and here I am doing arbitrage, shipping and negotiating margins, the list is endless. — Caprice Bourret

Is that a rule? Do you have a rule that you can't kiss people in the morning? — Holly Hood

To most Christians, the Bible is like a software license. Nobody actually reads it. They just scroll to the bottom and click 'I agree'. — Bill Maher

Life is funny; it really is. — Karyn Bosnak

Body language translation: hell yes, dipshit — Shay Rucker

I think a lot of stuff I find funny is from day dreaming. — Demetri Martin

Was that suit made to order? Where were you at the time? — Henny Youngman

I want to make a vending machine that sells vending machines. It'd have to be real big. — Mitch Hedberg

You're impossible," she told him.
"Of course I am," he answered. "It's part of my charm. — David Eddings

I see some people with glasses here, I trust people with glasses, don't you? But if you're wearing your glasses like this ... "Get away from 'em!" — Jim Gaffigan

If I was a mechanic and someone called me and said their car would not start, I would say, "Hey - maybe a killer is after you!" — Mitch Hedberg

If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number? — Robin Williams

Jack Black is so funny! On and off screen, like, he would make you laugh every day. He's hilarious. — Caitlin Hale

I got my start in silent radio. — Bob Monkhouse