Funny Family Quotes
Collection of top 75 famous quotes about Funny Family
Funny Family Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Family quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
— Henny Youngman
As soon as I arrive at the house, Laurie starts running, hits my chest, knocks me down, and licks my face. It's become a family ritual.
— Beverly Sills
My family's always been really funny. I feel like comedy's hard. I feel like it's so important.
— Christine Taylor
I come from a stupid family. My father worked in a bank. They caught him stealing pens.
— Rodney Dangerfield
I am the shortest and least funny person in my family.
— Heather Donahue
I've always liked being funny and making people laugh. I was a cut-up when I was a kid, and was always doing bits for my friends and family.
— Busy Philipps
I am an only child. I have one sister.
— Woody Allen
Whenever anyone finds out there are seven kids in my family, the imagine my mom and dad having sex.
— Rachel DeWoskin
It's funny how people can take up so much roomin your heart
but you still have plenty left
for someone else — Marilyn Hilton
Funny, isn't it? I've known every love possible, but as the years stretched out, the love I longed for the most is the one I shared with my sister.
— Josephine Angelini
There are so many other fun ways to dishonor the family name that buying girls' underwear shouldn't be one of them.
— Rin Chupeco
Most of my relatives are police marksmen, apart from my grandad who was a bank robber. He died recently, surrounded by his family.
— Milton Jones
I think I'm funny because my family, my siblings were funny.
— Martin Short
Scientist say that music can change the speed of a heartbeat. They failed to add: so can a text message.
— Holly Smale
Too bad. Family members hit you by accident. Psychopathic whores tend to come back for more.
— Richelle Mead
At this moment, I know that the answer has to be yes. I am defeated. By my own father. How Darth Vader.
— Denis Markell
She says screens are the cigarettes of our age. They're toxic, and we're only going to realize the damage they're doing when it's too late.
— Sophie Kinsella
A family is a group of people who keep confusing you with someone you were as a kid.
— Robert Brault
I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.
— Lewis Grizzard
It's funny to think that Christmas - a time known for its joyful togetherness - can be the loneliest time of the year for some.
— Giovanna Fletcher
Family life got better and we got our car back - as soon as we put 'I love Mom' on the license plate.
— Erma Bombeck
It's funny, 'cause you think surfing is your whole life, but then when you make a family it seems like it's not at all.
— Joel Parkinson
There just is not one person in my family who is not funny.
— Michael Keaton
As the middle child of the Laurel Canyon Adams Family, Whit was surprisingly chill on the subject of ampire-vays.
— M. Beth Bloom
I always thought that my canine family tended to view me as the funny-looking two-legged dog who runs the can opener.
— Roger Caras
Freud is all nonsense; the secret of neurosis is to be found in the family battle of wills to see who can refuse the longest to help with the dishes.
— Julian Mitchell
You'll see a lot of funny stuff, you'll see a lot of daddy-knows-best stuff, you'll see a lot of me and my wife trying to hold the family together.
— Russell Simmons
The only duration of family life that satisfies the loftiest longings of the human soul is forever.
— Russell M. Nelson
I come from a long line of miserable people.
— Arlene Schindler
By the time we get to church, I need church cuz I've been yelled at by everyone in the family.
— Jeff Foxworthy
Some things in life are certain; death, taxes, and that your family will piss you off.
— Melanie Finn
I had a very funny family.
— Zach Braff
Data is your Beta...
— Kshitij Bhatia
My cousin is gay, I always tell him that in our family tree, he's in the fruit section.
— Rodney Dangerfield
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
— Rodney Dangerfield
You set fire to my house, killed my family, and ate my dog. But steal my boyfriend? That's a step too far.
— Libba Bray
Fat people are funny ... until obesity pays your loved one a visit.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.
— Henny Youngman
Funny how you can forget that every family isn't like yours.
— Patrick Ness
It's just hassle of having friends and family an' that.
— Karl Pilkington
Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry.
— Jerry Seinfeld
My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, "Crick".
— Henny Youngman
It's not common for a woman on television, especially if she's the mom of the family, to be funny. She's usually a straight man or foil.
— Martha Plimpton
Cockblocked by the phone. Wanna bet it's Focus On The Family or some Satanic organization like?
— Andrea Speed
Funny thing- Morgenstern's folk's were named Max and Valerie and his father was a doctor.
— William Goldman
My son is 21. He'll be 22 if I let him.
— Henny Youngman
Life is a mighty joke that is not meant to be funny.
— Janvier Chouteu-Chando
I don't drink a lot. My family calls me an old soul. And my friends call me a pussy.
— Mike Birbiglia
Get in my way again, boy, and you're going to learn that Velkan isn't the only one in this family who has fangs. Retta to Viktor
— Sherrilyn Kenyon
