Funny Ex Quotes
Collection of top 56 famous quotes about Funny Ex
Funny Ex Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Ex quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
We all flinched as Ray flipped the breaker back on, but my laboratory again failed to erupt in flames. It must be a mad scientist record.
— Richard Roberts
Well, I have one consolation. No candidate was ever elected ex-president by such a large majority!
— William Howard Taft
I think I got a lot of my 'funny' DNA from my mother, who had a glorious sense of the ridiculous.
— Christopher Buckley
Her hands were large and knuckley and calloused, made to hold a rifle, not a needle.
— Hilary Mantel
One does not simply ring Roland.Oh boy. I supposed I would get a lecture on the dangers of wandering into Mordor next. — Ilona Andrews
Radical Edwards's profile? He's a seven-foot tall ex-basketball pro hindu guru drag-queen alien.-Jet Black, from the Cowboy Bebop anime script — Keiko Nobumoto
I think people like comedies and I think concept driven comedies seem to be working when it's a clear concept and you deliver funny stuff.
— Todd Phillips
And there's no damage to the car. Except to the car itself.
— Murray Walker
My ex-boyfriend can round last night, which was weird because I didn't know he was in a coma.
— Jo Brand
The funny part about Islam is; even if you rape a woman, it would be considered as her fault.
— M.F. Moonzajer
If I let you go are you going to hit me again?""What do you think?"
"Then I'm not going to let you go. — Sarah Mayberry
I don't want want to go to jail, I'm fragile.
— Adam Sandler
Culver is a language magnet school. What it's mainly a magnet for, if you want to know the truth, is nerds.
— Dave Barry
If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?
— Robin Williams
I want to make a vending machine that sells vending machines. It'd have to be real big.
— Mitch Hedberg
You're impossible," she told him. "Of course I am," he answered. "It's part of my charm. — David Eddings
If I was a mechanic and someone called me and said their car would not start, I would say, "Hey - maybe a killer is after you!"
— Mitch Hedberg
If I were you, I'd go and do that. : VikalpThat's why you're not me! : Yatharth. — Shubham Choudhary
Jack Black is so funny! On and off screen, like, he would make you laugh every day. He's hilarious.
— Caitlin Hale
Was that suit made to order? Where were you at the time?
— Henny Youngman
Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for - looking up exes to see how fat they got?
— Bill Maher
The ex-left-hander Dave Roberts will be going for Houston.
— Jerry Coleman
Unbeknown to us, some of the people who we hope are missing us wherever they are do miss us; some miss someone else; and some are dead.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
At the factory, I deal with ex-cons, substance abusers, and sexual harassers. And I'm not just talking about my mom.
— George Lopez
Walked right by an ex-girlfriend today. Not on purpose, I just didn't recognize her with her mouth closed.
— Aristotle.
An "EX" is called an "ex" because it's an EXample of what you shouldn't have again in the future.
— Unknown
My ex-wife is a water sign and I'm an earth sign. Together we made mud.
— Rodney Dangerfield
It's so funny to think that I used to be a model and here I am doing arbitrage, shipping and negotiating margins, the list is endless.
— Caprice Bourret
Most man can think no better than a child! This fact perfectly explains why there are so many funny beliefs!
— Mehmet Murat Ildan
How much detention did you get?Two weeks. One per arsehole. — Stephanie Perkins
Luck is merely a product of the happily delusional mind.
— Lois Greiman
Mitt Romney had a horse competing in the Olympics. He didn't win. But next year, he'll be competing in 'Dancing with the Stars.'
— David Letterman
As humans we speak one language ...
— Avril Lavigne
You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible thing about sarcasm.It's really funny. — Brandon Sanderson
Moving on was going to require leaving the woods and getting a friend set that didn't have gray hairs, hip replacements and a few false teeth.
— Rebecca Brooks
He runs to the sink to spit it out. I grin. There's nothing quite as funny as someone else's misery.
— Holly Black
I had a dream about you last night. We watched pornography together, but purely for the storyline.
— Michael Summers
I got my start in silent radio.
— Bob Monkhouse
Groupies will give you Chlamydia, Edward.""Right, Virg. Groupies throw underwear on stage. They don't throw flowers. — Andrew Barger
If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
— Jerry Seinfeld
The ballgame is over ... in this inning.
— Jerry Coleman
She shuddered. What is it with slobbery kissers? Are they trying to drown us in spit? I mean, Jesus, swallow every now and then.
— Tammara Webber
I find it very difficult to be funny, it's much easier to do tragedy than it is to do comedy.
— Eric Drooker
Text messages are dying a funny kind of death.
— Anonymous
In the silence, the bear died. It was a cute death, with funny music.
— Orson Scott Card