Funny Doug Quotes
Collection of top 32 famous quotes about Funny Doug
Funny Doug Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Doug quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
There's no such thing as addiction, there's only things that you enjoy doing more than life.
— Doug Stanhope
Complaining that a comic is drunk is like going to a titty bar and complaining because your lapdancer is a communist.
— Doug Stanhope
If you really believe death leads to eternal bliss then why are you wearing a seatbelt?
— Doug Stanhope
I sometimes wonder if necrophiliacs are really into dead people or if they just enjoy the quiet.
— Doug Stanhope
It's off the leg and into the left field of Doug Rader.
— Jerry Coleman
Making modern games funny would be easy as pie if it was anybody's goal to actually make a funny game.
— Doug TenNapel
Sex is a very narrow avenue. You only have so many holes and parts, and eventually, you run out of things to do.
— Doug Stanhope
Yes! Yes! There's the attitude. Where was that girl during the race? Off getting sushi?
— Doug Solter
I couldn't be a responsible enough parent if my kid was born with a new suit and a full-time job.
— Doug Stanhope
They should raise the alcohol age to 60, so at least you'd have something to look forward to at this point.
— Doug Stanhope
Alcohol does not make ugly people attractive. It makes it so you could care less that they're ugly.
— Doug Stanhope
Doing stand-up takes the fun out of being funny.
— Doug Stanhope
Babies are like poems. They're beautiful to their creator, but to other people, they're silly and they're irritating.
— Doug Stanhope
My first open mic, I drank a full pitcher of beer by myself. I wasn't afraid of being in front of people as much as, Is this funny?
— Doug Stanhope
A good programmer is someone who always looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.
— Doug Linder
No one here is allowed to die without my permission.
— Doug MacLeod
Could I pick some flowers for Miranda?' I asked.'You cannot take these flowers,' said Zoran. 'They belong to the government. — Doug MacLeod
I think it's love.''Funny.'
'I'm serious.'
'And your support for this is ... ?'
'A feeling.'
'You need more than that. — Doug Dorst
What I've lost in years I've gained in wisdom. Bullshit, I haven't learnt one thing in the last 15 years that hasn't just depressed me more.
— Doug Stanhope
