Funny Cat Quotes: top 40 famous quotes about Funny Cat

Funny Cat Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Cat quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

The way to keep a cat is to try to chase it away. — E.W. Howe

A female feline named Katta
Is getting fatta and fatta
But she's pretty and purry
And funny and furry
So what does an ounce or two matta? — Lilian Jackson Braun

Maruman does not loll. — Isobelle Carmody

If we all learnt cat-speak, we would often find they are saying, "You stupid human, I am trying to tell you something important right now! — Leah Broadby

It's funny how dogs and cats know the inside of folks better than other folks do, isn't it? — Eleanor Porter

My sister wanted a cat for a pet ... I wanted a dog, so they bought a cat and taught it to bark. — Chic Murray

Cats can be very funny, and have the oddest ways of showing they're glad to see you ... — W. H. Auden

You don't care because you're all that and I'm just an artery in a dress. — Jeaniene Frost

Funny how possibility can lift you. Funny how reality can slam you down. — Cat Patrick

I have a Siamese twin cat. It's got 2 heads and 18 lives. — M.J. McGuire

Oh, and Knievel stared you down, and you gave in so quick." Jed laughed lowly, rubbing his hand over Redford's stomach. "You're now my cat's bitch. — Robin Saxon

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. — Jeff Valdez

Getting your news from Twitter is like asking a cat for directions. — Andy Borowitz

Keith much preferred cats. A cat wouldn't go mad at a man traversing a wall in the dead of night; it would shrug and lick its arse — Simon Dunn

I miss my brother. Prince was a funny cat. Great sence of humor. — Spike Lee

I used to say I wanted somebody funny and intelligent, but kindness is the most important quality in a man. — Cat Deeley

I don't mess with that cat. I'm pretty sure he carries a blade under his jersey. — Charles Barkley

Maybe curiosity did kill your cat. But it wouldn't hurt to keep an eye on the neighbor's rottweiler just the same. — Lois Greiman

Liza took her time sipping her tea. That's what I hear Janet. Of course, living it up can take years off your life and add them to your face. — Gwenn Wright

Guys are like dogs. They keep comin' back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time, they're gone. — Lenny Bruce

And the Lady's mate. Despite having only two legs and small fangs, there was much that was feline in that one, and he approved. — Anne Bishop

Cats have nine lives. Makes them ideal for experimentation. — Jimmy Carr

Come here, cat. You wouldn't want to destroy the space-time continuum, would you? Meow. Meow. — Connie Willis

Religion is like a blind man looking in a black room for a black cat that isn't there, and finding it. — Oscar Wilde

I recently bought a cat, but took it back a day later because our personalities clashed. — David Mitchell

The Heimlich maneuver works on house pets. My pit bull was choking on his dinner. I squeezed his stomach and the neighbor's cat shot right out. — Scott Wood

The cat is, above all things, a dramatist. — Margaret Benson

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded: 'Take me to the canaries'. — Bob Monkhouse

I survived a divorce, no children and come to Paris three days per week. My cat ran away on a love adventure; don't know when he will be back. — Tionne Rogers

Christ, they'd be getting a cat next. He mentally recoiled from the idea: the day they did that, he'd cut off his dick and call himself a lesbian. — Kate Aaron

I wish there were jokes in the cat world," Buddy sighed. "Want to try to one? Let's think of a prank we can pull on the boys. — Gretchen Preston

I've got a Siamese cat. It has 2 heads and 18 lives. — M.J. McGuire

Bill Gates is just a monocle and a Persian Cat away from being one of the bad guys in a James Bond movie. — Dennis Miller

Basement smells bad. Look for cat poops, change litter. — Martha Stewart

Dear Fly,

I love you. If you are a mouse I am cheese. If you are a cat I am a mouse. You are a fly, so I want to be shit. — Casey Scieszka

As a fan, I'm distraught, but as a cartoonist looking at new vacant spaces in 2400 newspapers, well, behind me, my cats are dancing a conga line. — Scott Adams

I'm sure I look like a drowned cat."
"You look fine. The wet look works for you."
I scowled. "Now I know you're lying. — Jennifer L. Armentrout

Cats are solitary hunters with only the vaguest concept of hierarchy and little desire to "please" anyone but themselves — David Brunner

Whatever would give you the idea that I'm her damn brother? — Jeaniene Frost

A lot of people like cats. Take the Pope, for example: I read recently that he was a cat-oholic! — Milton Jones