Funny Book Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Funny Book

Funny Book Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Book quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Old age is - a lot of crossed off names in an address book. — Ronald Blythe

Don DeLillo's 'White Noise,' which I read when I was 19. It showed me that a book can be funny as hell and deadly serious. — Kevin Barry

Sometimes, if you close your eyes and keep still, you can be invisible. Ostriches know this." - Constantine — Jamie Delano

Women were tricky creatures under the best of circumstances. This was not the best of circumstances. — Genevieve Dewey

What's a book boyfriend and how do I find them so I can kick their asses? — M.D. Saperstein

You're never too old, too wacky, too wild, to pick up a book and read to a child. — Dr. Seuss

Not that it isn't great to see you. But it's not so great for you. What'd you do wrong? Laugh at his dick? — Margaret Atwood

I always tell people it's funny that they think I'm a relationship expert because my two books are about getting out of relationships. — Greg Behrendt

The biggest critics of my books are the people who never read them. — Jackie Collins

I'll pray for good semen. And I'll get all of my friends to pray for good semen. — Buffy Andrews

One right doesn't remedy a thousand wrongs.'

'You should write a book of quotes. — Catherine Doyle

They do have these things called bookstores there. I've heard tell that if you give them money, they let you leave with a book. — Lauren Morrill

Oh, hey, kettle, I'm pot and wow, you're black." - Owen — Olivia Cunning

I've decided I don't like books that end with 'The End'. The fact that there are no more pages, suggests to me that the book has ended. — Wayne Gerard Trotman

I wouldn't overall say that The Diagnosis it's a funny book. I would say that it has comic moments. It's a modern tragedy. — Alan Lightman

With the history of us, a book wouldn't necessarily be the best thing. — Keisha Buchanan

Any one could write a book," said the taxi driver. " Yes, they could, but they DON'T," said Maeve Binchy — Maeve Binchy

Men love watches with multiple functions. My husband has one that is a combination address book, telescope and piano. — Rita Rudner

My book sales are way down today. Also, I've received two scathing reviews. One of them calls me a purveyor of insipid wet-dreams. — Nenia Campbell

Cracking the Ice scores the literary equivalent of a hat-trick: funny, harrowing and finally, heartfelt. This book is a winner. — Gregory Neri

It was a fabulous outfit, but it was so urban-fantasy book cover. — Chloe Neill

Giulia Melucci has written a wonderfully funny and moving book. It's like Eat, Pray, Love, with recipes. — A. J. Jacobs

The fans of 'The Hunger Games,' of the book, are very passionate. It's funny: Even at my concerts there are people holding up 'Cinna' signs. — Lenny Kravitz

I was just thinking that he might be willing. It's not like he needs his semen. — Buffy Andrews

Finding the book was like kissing a lightning bolt. — Karen Miller

That's the problem with best friends. Sometimes they know you better than you know yourself. — Cecily Von Ziegesar

This is the final book about Brian — Gary Paulsen

He returned my smile with a half grin. So what do you blog about? Knitting? Puzzles? Being lonely? — Jennifer L. Armentrout

No vampires? You know, the kind that sparkle? I giggle to myself, thinking "Go Team Edward!" - Willow — Mira Monroe

Now you be careful in the real world" said Armpit " Not everyone is as nice as us. — Louis Sachar

There was a part of my brain that wanted to ask if his wife had a beard, verify my theory. I told that part of my brain to shut up. — R.R. Virdi

Church's boss was a dick too--justice! — R.R. Virdi

I'm trying to read a book on how to relax, but I keep falling asleep. — James M. Loy

I like books that are funny, but that aren't trying to be funny. I like situational humor. — Shiloh Fernandez

It reminds me how funny living in LA can be; You go to a friend's barbecue and you leave the face of Victoria Beckham's look book. — Alice Greczyn

Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix. — Matt Groening

The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It's so funny! Right in the first six pages, it's funny! — David Cross

I think it's nice to get a break from all of the big Hollywood comic book action-movies and see something that's relatable and funny and interesting. — Aubrey Plaza

I surround myself with books when I write, thus surrounding myself with writers... only they don't critique me and then get up for coffee. — Ryan Lilly

I'll be supposed upon a book, his face is the worst thing about him. — William Shakespeare

If I could read a book, I'd definitely read one of yours. — Paris Hilton

If you haven't heard a rumor by noon, make one up. If you're a writer, make sure it's a full page of the book you're currently working on. — Lamont Tanksley

Part of my soul goes into each quote I write. A book of my quotes can be yours for just $19.99. — Ryan Lilly

Someone once said writing and gardening are similar pursuits. Tell you what, I'd have one fucked up garden if that were the case. — Carla H. Krueger

Vampires. They wrote the book on possessive. — Charlaine Harris

The thing is, Fallon ... I told you before to lock the door if you wanted me to stay out. Funny thing is ... " I leaned in. "You. Never. Did. — Penelope Douglas

She gave me money to buy condoms, and instead I bought a book of baby names. That's life. That's love. That's fiscally irresponsible. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo

A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked, and could have only one book, what would it be? I always say, How to Build a Boat. — Stephen Wright

Funny, a witch who likes dogs over cats. I think I like this about you. - Rhydian — Mira Monroe

P.S. Please give my love to Tink, she always was such a funny little bug — Jodi Lynn Anderson

I was of course discussing the book of Leviticus. I don't know why your mind is so filthy these days, Bingley.
— Marsha Altman

If I'll be funnier than this, I'll become a joke. — Chandan Sharma

When someone gives me either a democratic or republican pamphlet, I throw it in their face. I'm a librarian, damn it! We only take book donations. — Bauvard

Face Book keeps asking me to complete my relationship status; I doubt it has the soul of a gossip magazine column's starving journalist. — Shahla Khan

Some people are street-smart, some people are book-smart, but most people are just dumber than dirt. — Lois Greiman

The Side Effects of Dying in Your Pants isn't really funny ... Alright, it's a little funny. — John Green

If a wizard should take up residence in your garden and requests food, you are obliged to feed him. — Mark Jackman

Friends: people who borrow my books and set wet glasses on them. — Edwin Arlington Robinson

But the purpose of the book is not the horror, it is horror's defeat. — Terry Pratchett

We had 1 book, the phone book, I've read it, it wasn't a great read, lots of characters, and on the end loads of polish people turn up. — Stephen K. Amos

Phones are only good for ordering pizza and telling someone you're running late — Amy Reed

Two people getting together to write a book is like three people getting together to have a baby. One of them is superfluous. — George Bernard Shaw

Pause while reading a book only in case of two things:
1. To kiss
2. To sip coffee
Too bad both are a luxury. — Saleem Sharma

The big advantage of a book is that it's very easy to rewind. Close it and you're right back at the beginning. — Jerry Seinfeld

You deserve good sperm. You've waited a long time. — Buffy Andrews

Sometimes funny is all you've got. — Amy Harmon

I've just finished my book, I wrote it on penguins. Come to think of it, paper would have been better. — Milton Jones

What do you call a rifle with three barrels?
A trifle. — Joseph Rosenbloom

In my book an erection constitutes personal growth. — Amunhotep El Bey

Life is way too short, so try to enjoy every minute of it with a sense of humor! — Christina Scalise

Community college is like a disco with books: "Here's ten dollars; let me get my learn on!" — Chris Rock

The simplest comment on my book came from my ballet teacher. She said, I wish you hadn't made every line funny. It's so depressing. — Quentin Crisp

I just wrote a book. But don't go and buy it yet, because I don't think it's finished. — Lawrence Welk

he hadn't killed or shagged even one single person in front of me - which I felt was a rather good indication of his superior character. — Hettie Ivers

Books shouldn't be daunting, they should be funny, exciting and wonderful. — Roald Dahl

I'd like to thank readers. Every time you open a book, it is a strike against ignorance. Unless you're reading Sarah Palin. — Libba Bray

That's the exciting part about capitalism. It's like surfing, you have to catch the wave. - Martin Peter (aka Vermin Gobsmack) — Jamie Delano

I'm writing a book about Siamese Twins that are attached at the nose. It's called: Stop Staring at Me! — Zach Galifianakis

I firmly believe that if you can't fool all of the people all of the time you should start breeding them for stupidity. - Weisshaupt — Dave Sim

Eagles, buffalos and deserts vast,
it's no good living in the fucking past. — Mark Jackman

A brick can be used to represent the zero probability of this book being any good. — Amy Summers

He was charming and funny and a bit scary, which was always a draw in my book. — Ilona Andrews

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success? — Jerry Seinfeld

Snarl must love Christmas as much as me, I decided. — Rachel Cohn

Dogs are angels full of poop. — Oliver Gaspirtz

Silas consumed only one food, and it was not bananas. — Neil Gaiman

What I like best is a book that's at least funny once in awhile. — J.D. Salinger

She must have been very anxious about a first boy friend to fall in love with a Colgate boy — Haidji

Suddenly, a voice called from the darkness. Taylor leapt like a salmon, then became rooted to the spot like a tin of salmon. — Mark Jackman

You belong in an insane asylum, you know that?"
"Maybe my next case... — R.R. Virdi

Okay. Take a peek, but I swear if you try anything funny, I'll beat your head in with my flashlight. — Shannon K. Butcher

A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book. — Ernest Hemingway,

I've always been a big fan of beauty. Sure, you can't judge a book by its cover but who wants to have sex with a book? — Stephen Colbert

Writing a book has about it some of the anxiety of telling a joke and having to wait several years to know whether or not it was funny. — Alain De Botton

For those of you haven't read the book, it's being published tomorrow — David Frost

If I book a hotel it's actually very funny. It's very nice to be a genuine Mr Smith. — Robert Smith

Winnie, don't you ever think you're selling yourself short?"

"Nope. Never. I'm really good at picking quality dick. — Elizabeth Brown

Simon gave her a startled look. 'I don't believe I have ever been condescended to by a woman before.' She shrugged. 'It was probably past time. — Julia Quinn

On Friday night, I was reading my new book, but my brain got tired, so I decided to watch some television instead. — Stephen Chbosky

So? I know lots of beautiful women. Nova wanted to chase ... I merely obliged her by running. — D.D. Chant