Funny Best Man Quotes
Collection of top 42 famous quotes about Funny Best Man
Funny Best Man Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Best Man quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
A Polish man in a helicopter. Goes up to 800 feet. Down it comes! What happened? "It got chilly up there, so I turned off the fan!"
— Henny Youngman
I know a guy who had his doctor say, "Take some weight off, go to a health club." The man lost 20 pounds in one week! The machine tore his leg off!
— Henny Youngman
Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie THE WAY WE WERE twice, voluntarily.
— Rita Rudner
Life's funny. Sometimes it's your oyster, and sometimes you're it's bitch-slapped man-whore.
— Lois Greiman
There once was an old man of Lyme who married three wives at a time when asked, 'Why a third?' he replied 'One's absurd! and bigamy, sir, is a crime!'
— William Cosmo Monkhouse
You can always tell when a man's well informed. His views are pretty much like your own.
— H. Jackson Brown Jr.
I went to the store and bought eight apples; the clerk said, "Do you want these in a bag?" I said, "Oh, no, man, I juggle."
— Mitch Hedberg
Many a man was caused to perish by something that he and many men cherish.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Money is what makes a man act funny.
— Eminem
My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?
— Margaret Smith
Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
— Mark Twain
This man dresses like an unmade bed.
— Henny Youngman
There have been man-on-the-street interviews for years, but insulting people is not that funny to me.
— Billy Eichner
That's why they're man's best friend. 'Cause guys want buddies that are dumber than they are. So do women, but they've already got men
— Bill Engvall
The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.
— Arthur C. Clarke
Robert Redford used to be such a handsome man and now look at him: everything has dropped, expanded and turned a funny color.
— George Best
Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend.
— Corey Ford
I could pull off a 'man', but never, quite, a 'dude'.
— Adrian Barnes
A man says to his mate: "My wife is a twin." His mate says, "How do you tell them apart?" The man says: "Her brother has a beard."
— Frank Carson
A man can well afford to be as bold as brass, my good fellow, when he gets gold in exchange!
— Charles Dickens
A man who views the world the same ...
— Muhammad Ali
Chris Rock is a very funny man.
— Willie Geist
To the man on crutches, dressed in camouflage, who stole my wallet ... you can hide but you can't run.
— Milton Jones
Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.
— Tommy Cooper
A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.
— G. Gordon Liddy
I beg your pardon; I am drunk without a drink. English wine & words are vulnerable to every man.
— Santosh Kalwar
A car hit a Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living."
— Henny Youngman
The Irish Six Million Dollar man only cost three quid.
— Frank Carson
If no meant no then every man would die a virgin.
— Daniel Tosh
He is not an ideal husband. I am his wife.
— Ljupka Cvetanova
You want me to be a man,older than you, who goes by the name of Roullard.
— Wendelin Van Draanen
