Funny Best Buy Quotes: top 30 famous quotes about Funny Best Buy

Funny Best Buy Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Best Buy quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Oh, and I need to known where Jersey is and if I have enough money to buy it. — Anna Banks

Buy a condom, ribbed for her pleasure. Turn it inside out, now it's ribbed for your pleasure. — Katt Williams

You put a baby in a crib with an apple and a rabbit. If it eats the rabbit and plays with the apple, I'll buy you a new car. — Harvey Diamond

Women will buy products in an attempt to become the impossible goal. Men will buy products in an attempt to mate with the impossible goal. — David McRaney

Sorry - Americans only buy things that come from suffering. They just enjoy it more when they know someone's getting hurt. — Louis C.K.

So I went in to a pet shop. I said, "Can I buy a goldfish?" The guy said, "Do you want an aquarium?" I said, "I don't care what star sign it is." — Tim Vine

A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, 'At my age, I don't even buy green bananas.' — Claude Pepper

My girlfriend is Jewish. But it's easier to buy her a Christmas present and then break it into 8 pieces. — Anthony Jeselnik

To people who make moving ads that block the view of websites: Not only will we not buy from you, but we want shrews to eat your liver. — Dave Barry

If a problem can be solved, there is nothing to worry about. If it can't be solved, well you can always buy chocolate — Pablo

Can I buy you an ice cream beforeI take you home? I feel like it's the least I can do after scaring your shirt off. — Tamara Summers

Whenever I go overseas I buy funny eyelashes. For example the same brand that are in Japan and England are different styles. So I bought both. — Park Bom

Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies? There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready made. — Groucho Marx

Not Carnegie, Vanderbilt, and Astor together could have raised money enough to buy a quarter share in my little dogs. — Ernest Thompson Seton

I'm walking out my door to get like a Snapple, and someone's like 'yo man, you want to buy some heroin?' 'No ... got any Snapple?' — Mike Birbiglia

What good is the Moon? You can't buy it or sell it. — Ivan Boesky

Shaq is rich. The white man who signs his check ... is wealthy. "Ah, here you go, Shaq. Go buy yourself a bouncing car. Bling, bling!" — Chris Rock

If you think it's funny to make fun of the "used car salesman," you better only buy new and never sell your car. Just sayin. — Richie Norton

I never knew anyone actually buy cakes when they were hot ... — Ruth Rendell

She gave me money to buy condoms, and instead I bought a book of baby names. That's life. That's love. That's fiscally irresponsible. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo

I've got a wallet, it's orange. In case I wanna buy a deer. That doesn't make any sense at all. — Mitch Hedberg

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me. — Warren Buffett

Everything I buy is vintage and smells funny. Maybe that's why I don't have a boyfriend. — Lucy Liu

So I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said "Analogue." I said "No, just a watch." — Tim Vine

I do not understand this man," [Tempi] said. "Is he attempting to buy sex with me? Or does he wish to fight? — Patrick Rothfuss

I just wrote a book. But don't go and buy it yet, because I don't think it's finished. — Lawrence Welk

How am I going to explain to my kids one day that I can't buy them a happy meal because the toy will make them fat? — Carroll Bryant

Don't buy the toys that make the noise! — Denis Leary

Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of? — Steven Wright

Elena, my four year old, says to me in all seriousness; "Mommy, you need to buy another baby". — Ronald Reagan