Funny Bar Quotes: top 32 famous quotes about Funny Bar

Funny Bar Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Bar quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

When you go to a bar that has a black light, everybody looks cool. Except for me, because I was under the impression that the mustard stain came out. — Mitch Hedberg

Man went into a bar, he only had one arm. Guy sitting next to him said 'Hey, you've got your sleeve in my drink', man replied, 'There's no arm in it' — Tommy Cooper

This is one bar you should take home. — Eugene Ormandy

I went to a gay bar, they wanted proof of sex so I showed them, they said it wasn't enough. — Rodney Dangerfield

Complaining that a comic is drunk is like going to a titty bar and complaining because your lapdancer is a communist. — Doug Stanhope

I'm a woman who likes to be courted - strongly. — Katy Perry

Sid slapped her hands on the bar. "Good Lord, woman, unclench your sphincter and have another drink. — Terri Osburn

The sign on the bar said: 'girls- topless, bottomless', I went inside and there was nobody there! — Rodney Dangerfield

Though everyone in the bar knew who he was, no one asked him about the death, though one old man did rustle his newspaper suggestively. — Donna Leon

Extremely dangerous drug-related occupations for which decoy served as a paid audition of sorts. A start weapons system was a wise investment. The — Neal Stephenson

No guy in the history of America has ordered a Smirnoff Ice at a bar without hating himself a little. — Jay Black

Life isn't a cabaret. It's a dive bar. — Woody Paige

Word of advice - never ask a terrorist the question 'What would you do for a Klondike bar?'. — David C. Holley

Dark, cool, musty, smoky, where light fell funny and everyone looked like someone you knew or wanted to know. Or, more likely, wanted to forget. — David Baldacci

I started with shoes, and with hard work and discipline, the business prospered. I moved to the department store business and again, things went well. — Henry Sy

We get to make a living; we give to make a life. — Winston Churchill

Two peanuts walk into a rather rough bar, not looking for any trouble. Unfortunately, one was a salted. — Tommy Cooper

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman looks at them and says: "Is this some kind of a joke?" — Frank Carson

The Kit Kat candy bar has the name Kit Kat imprinted into the chocolate. That robs you of chocolate! That's a clever chocolate-saving technique. — Mitch Hedberg

In my defense, I was young and there was an open bar. — Jonathan Tropper

Nickelback walks into a bar ... there's no punchline because ruining music isn't funny. — Dave Grohl

life will teach you all lessons at right time — Vinod

I think it's important to be kind to the world before it disappears if we don't take care of it. — Danielle Panabaker

I never took the game home with me. I always left it in some bar. — Bob Lemon

What is this Sweet Home Alabama? You have a baby. In a bar. — Kristen Proby

A guy walks into a pub with a lump of asphalt on His shoulder, He says to the bar man give us a pint and one for the road. — Tommy Cooper

The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar. It was tense. — Lex Martin

When I go to a bar, I don't go looking for a girl who knows the capital of Maine. — David Brenner

The role of Empress became a full-time occupation. — Shan Sa

You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name
and you've never been to that bar before. — Zach Galifianakis

A good story should provoke discussion, debate, argument ... and the occasional bar fight. — J. Michael Straczynski

A jump lead walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything." — Tommy Cooper