Funny And Humorous Quotes
Collection of top 50 famous quotes about Funny And Humorous
Funny And Humorous Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny And Humorous quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
Ish #153 Artificial plants grow best in artificial light.
— Regina Griffin
Let me see you ride a donkey over my green again, and as sure as you have a head upon your shoulders, I'll knock your bonnet off, and tread upon it!
— Charles Dickens
She looks me dead in the face and says, "The safe word is going to be 'immigration,' because you know I'll stop it.
— Kayti McGee
All humans learn from each other's mistakes. Intelligent humans learn how to avoid them, idiots how to do them.
— Raheel Farooq
After all, nothing nurtures a friendship bond more than the ability to consistently bitch about someone else!
— Pawan Mishra
I threw my hand over my mouth and blurted out the first best excuse I could come up with, Morning breath!
— Melissa Aragon
For Breakfast I like my coffee warm and cozy and my eggs funny side up.
— Stanley Victor Paskavich
It was 10:30 in the morning and I was already running behind. This is hardly unusual, but it pisses me off every single time.
— Julie Powell
I tried to blow a yellow jacket out and now it's wearing a bow tie in its mouth.
— Ana Claudia Antunes
When they figure out how to bottle up orgasms and sell them as a food additive, I'll be first in line.
— Nenia Campbell
Just to keep the bad dreams at bay, she took a swig out of a bottle that smelled of apples and happy brain-death.
— Terry Pratchett
Still his philanthropy was of that gunpowderous sort that the difference between it and animosity was hard to determine.
— Charles Dickens
I nurture very good intentions about you. May you die in peace.
— Fakeer Ishavardas
For your popular rumour, unlike the rolling stone of the proverb, is one which gathers a deal of moss in its wanderings up and down.
— Charles Dickens
Play and be happy.
— Lailah Gifty Akita
(Referring to the piano's natural shape) Isn't it a shame when those big fat opera singers lean against the pianos and bend them?
— Victor Borge
Ladies glisten, men perspire, horses sweat.-Early Nun Quote, The Old Ursuline Convent (1727)
New Orleans, LA — Diana Hollingsworth Gessler
As to sleep, you know, I never sleep now. I might be a Watchman, except that I don't get any pay, and he's got nothing on his mind.
— Charles Dickens
Only criminals and madmen walk into Central Park after midnight...or, occasionally, an actor. (Dark City Lights)
— Jane Dentinger
Webster said, 'Time them skeeters get done with that old man, his French blood will be all gone and he will speak American as good as we do.
— Peter Matthiessen
I made a noise of disgust, and I think I would have stormed out if I knew how to open the door.
— Ash Gray
I'm rarely rude except accidentally, and that doesn't really count...
— Laura L. Sullivan
And the challenge in the next round would be determined by the winner of this test. "Like, what, the DOM-matrix?" ~Tara Reese
— Lucian Bane
It's all life is. Just going 'round kissing people.
— F Scott Fitzgerald
If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there
— Will Rogers
Poems for children help them celebrate the joy and wonder of their world. Humorous poems tickle the funny bone of their imaginations.
— Charles Ghigna
Memory is like a box of chocolates. They disappear quickly.
— Leah Broadby
Many a man was caused to perish by something that he and many men cherish.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
The only person who worries about my mother is God, and that's only because she wants His job.
— Sue Civil-Brown
Unbeknown to us, some of the people who we hope are missing us wherever they are do miss us; some miss someone else; and some are dead.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
(About a cookbook ... )- What about this one? Maids of Honor?
- Weeelll, they starts OUT as Maids of Honor ... but they ends up Tarts. — Terry Pratchett
Ish #19 If your diet soda has zero calories, zero sugar and zero fat, what the hell are you drinking?
— Regina Griffin
Nice guys finish last but bad guys don't finish at all.
— Matshona Dhliwayo
Great, Alexia thought, I have gone from soul sucker to electrical ground. The epithets just get sweeter and sweeter.
— Gail Carriger
In particular, there was a butler in a blue coat and bright buttons, who gave quite a winey flavour to the table beer; he poured it out so superbly.
— Charles Dickens
Chomsky is a pencil-and-paper theoretician who wouldn't know Jabba the Hutt from the Cookie Monster,
— Steven Pinker
