Funny A/c Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about Funny A/c
Funny A/c Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny A/c quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
We all flinched as Ray flipped the breaker back on, but my laboratory again failed to erupt in flames. It must be a mad scientist record.
— Richard Roberts
I think I got a lot of my 'funny' DNA from my mother, who had a glorious sense of the ridiculous.
— Christopher Buckley
Her hands were large and knuckley and calloused, made to hold a rifle, not a needle.
— Hilary Mantel
One does not simply ring Roland.Oh boy. I supposed I would get a lecture on the dangers of wandering into Mordor next. — Ilona Andrews
Equal partnerships are not made in heaven-they are made on earth, one choice at a time, one conversation at a time, one threshold crossing at a time.
— Bruce C. Hafen
Spandex bodysuits, huh?" His eyes twinkled. "If that's what turns you on - I'm all for giving it a try.
— J.C. Reed
My imagination is something of a badass.
— D.C. Pierson
I think people like comedies and I think concept driven comedies seem to be working when it's a clear concept and you deliver funny stuff.
— Todd Phillips
It's a mystery why certain people find certain things funny.
— John C. Reilly
When I saw a sign on the freeway that said, "Los Angeles 445 miles," I said to myself, "I've got to get out of this lane."
— Franklyn Ajaye
A good time for laughing is when you can.
— Jessamyn West
It is a very funny thing that the sleepier you are, the longer you take about getting to bed.
— C.S. Lewis
The funny part about Islam is; even if you rape a woman, it would be considered as her fault.
— M.F. Moonzajer
That is a fart without wind ... in reference to when you can't back up what you say. very funny.
— Faye Kellerman
Don't be a luddy-duddy! Don't be a mooncalf! Don't be a jabbernowl! You're not those, are you?
— W.C. Fields
Culver is a language magnet school. What it's mainly a magnet for, if you want to know the truth, is nerds.
— Dave Barry
They have dog food for constipated dogs. If your dog is constipated, why screw up a good thing? Stay indoors and let 'em bloat!
— David Letterman
Pain has a funny way of focusing the mind. Only what hurts matters.
— John C. Wright
I thank God daily for the good fortune of my birth, for I am certain I would have made a miserable peasant.
— C.S. Forester
I didn't just come in on a load of turnips!
— Phillip C. McGraw
It was funny, in a twisted sort of way, that night I gained my future was the same night I lost my past.
— Kelley R. Martin
I have the street smarts and survival skills of, like, a poodle.
— Jennifer Lawrence
She already had a headache-she didn't want to add 'get tortured' to today's to-do list.
— C.C. Hunter
I never say a funny thing intentionally.
— Jayne Meadows
If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.
— Jeff Foxworthy
That's got to be a ten blowjob movie, at least.
— K.C. Burn
I think it is funny that we were freer about sexuality in the 4th century B.C. It is a little disconcerting.
— Angelina Jolie
N-O-W-A-C-K.""No C."
"Oh. Okay. N-O-W-A-C. — Marshall Thornton
I am determined to have the headache Thursday, if I have to hit myself with a rock to do it.
— Patricia C. Wrede
Anyone else find it funny that Bernie Madoff's last name is a homophone of 'made-off'?
— David C. Holley
Paddy Eagan, stay away from falling signs for a bit and you'll be as right as rain come the weekend.
— Elizabeth C. Bunce
Isn't it funny the way some combinations of words can give youalmost apart from their meaning
a thrill like music? — C.S. Lewis
I look at things logically. The humor I do is to go from A to B to C to D, and F is the funny.
— Ron Shock
Word of advice - never ask a terrorist the question 'What would you do for a Klondike bar?'.
— David C. Holley
I don't have a gun, but if I did, I would shoot a baby deer in the mouth and feel nothing.
— Louis C.K.
The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.
— Arthur C. Clarke
Besides, what do I know about being a wife? There are much more important qualities to have than a docile disposition.
— C.J. Redwine
No man is the boss of his own house, but he can make up for it, he thinks, by making a dog play dead.
— W.C. Fields
In the silence, the bear died. It was a cute death, with funny music.
— Orson Scott Card
Nobody wants to give up a weekend-long excuse to dress up and attempt to outshine one another.
— Elizabeth Eulberg
Faith is Hope on a treadmill. Love is the reason we stay on.
— Solange Nicole
That Asian guy is really good at kicking. Shocking. Someone is pressing 'A' really fast somewhere.
— Daniel Tosh
Please stop waiting for a map. We reward those who draw maps, not those who follow them.
— Seth Godin
I think a lot of stuff I find funny is from day dreaming.
— Demetri Martin
I want to make a vending machine that sells vending machines. It'd have to be real big.
— Mitch Hedberg
If I was a mechanic and someone called me and said their car would not start, I would say, "Hey - maybe a killer is after you!"
— Mitch Hedberg
If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?
— Robin Williams
Text messages are dying a funny kind of death.
— Anonymous
If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
— Jerry Seinfeld
Most man can think no better than a child! This fact perfectly explains why there are so many funny beliefs!
— Mehmet Murat Ildan
I had a dream about you last night. We watched pornography together, but purely for the storyline.
— Michael Summers
Moving on was going to require leaving the woods and getting a friend set that didn't have gray hairs, hip replacements and a few false teeth.
— Rebecca Brooks
Mitt Romney had a horse competing in the Olympics. He didn't win. But next year, he'll be competing in 'Dancing with the Stars.'
— David Letterman
Luck is merely a product of the happily delusional mind.
— Lois Greiman
Great. So he's a genius. Fifty points for Ivanclaw.
— Margaret Stohl
Do you think pandas know they're Chinese and they're taking the one child policy a bit too seriously?
— Jim Jefferies
Pity, I've learned, is like a fart. You can tolerate your own, but you simply can't stand anyone else's.
— Jonathan Tropper
It's so funny to think that I used to be a model and here I am doing arbitrage, shipping and negotiating margins, the list is endless.
— Caprice Bourret
I wonder what will happen if i put a hand cream on my feet, will they get confused and start clapping?
— Ellen DeGeneres
Your pupils are dilated. Does that mean you want to fuck me or eat me? Because I might have a problem with one of those.-Dex to Sloane — Charlie Cochet
As fathers commonly go, it is seldom a misfortune to be fatherless; and considering the general run of sons, as seldom a misfortune to be childless.
— Lord Chesterfield
Mom, how come you never go outside?""I told you, I'm a vampire. — Alison Bechdel
The body's a funny thing. It's so full of surprises that it makes conventional wisdom seem silly.
— Pat Conroy
The cat is, above all things, a dramatist.
— Margaret Benson
She'd had sex with a demon. Tayla swallowed bile and tried to keep her stomach from heaving. She needed to shower. And douche.
— Larissa Ione
Chomsky is a pencil-and-paper theoretician who wouldn't know Jabba the Hutt from the Cookie Monster,
— Steven Pinker
Mr. Speaker. I said the honorable member was a liar it is true and I am sorry for it. The honorable member may place the punctuation where he pleases.
— Richard Brinsley Sheridan
Blankets make great traps for the clinically insane, but a straightjacket might work better.
— Nicole McKay
I came up with a good idea ... see-through skin.
— Karl Pilkington
Boy what a hotel that was, why they stole my towel.
— Rodney Dangerfield
Happiness to a dog is what lies on the other side of the door.
— Charlton Ogburn