Friends Humor Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about Friends Humor
Friends Humor Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Friends Humor quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
The more passionate and argumentative I get the more followers and friends I make online.
— Tasha Turner
You want a friend in this city? [Washington, DC.] Get a dog!
— Harry Truman
I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal.
— Jane Austen
Although the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other's picture.
— George Carlin
Part of being friends with someone is knowing when to speak your mind and when to shut the hell up.
— Christine Pope
Friends don't menace friends with giant terrifying swords, okay?
— Sarah Rees Brennan
Just for the record, I have come to fear all of your ideas in advance, simply from having endured enough of them.
— Violet Haberdasher
When you're content, blame your friends. When you're angry, blame your enemies. When you're insane, blame yourself.
— Allia Loops
So if animals aren't our friends, then what are they? The answer can be summed up between two buns.
— Stephen Colbert
Guns are our friends because in a country without guns, I'm what's known as "prey." All females are.
— Ann Coulter
We need to remember what's important in life: friends, waffles, work. Or waffles, friends, work. Doesn't matter, but work is third.
— Leslie Knope
She steeled her spine. "Like Boleyn to the chopping block." Anna smirked. "Queen of England, are we?"
Mara shrugged. "Something to aspire to. — Sarah MacLean
The trees at Cloudwalk have been my friends for forty years. I'm sure if I were sawed in half, our rings would match.
— Diane Von Furstenberg
I think hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient's friends.
— Bill Watterson
What exactly does that expression mean, 'friends with benefits'? Does he provide her with health insurance?
— Chuck Lorre
I felt very close to God ... My friends say that's because I was always on my knees.
— Armistead Maupin
I've written for the waste basket so often that we've become friends. He writes too, but it's mostly garbage.
— Ryan Lilly
He kissed the corner of her lips before whispering by her ear, And that was just my hand, love.
— Michelle M. Pillow
I planned to reintroduce him to my friends lorazepam and oxycodone in a big, big way.
— Cassie Alexander
![Friends Humor Quotes By Noel Coward: [Garry Essendine]: That is no prostitute, but the](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/friends-humor-quotes-by-noel-coward-971826.jpg "Friends Humor Quotes By Noel Coward: [Garry Essendine]: That is no prostitute, but the")
Some friends of mine got me a sweater for my birthday. I'd have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but the sweater was OK.
— Steven Wright
We hate it when our friends become successful.
— Morrissey
He's not wearing ... " Charlotte began."I know. He doesn't," Lydia answered. — Michelle M. Pillow
Friends are God's apology for relations.
— Hugh Kingsmill
We love ourselves notwithstanding our faults, and we ought to love our friends in like manner.
— Cyrus The Great
Friends don't threaten friends' distributor caps
— C.E. Murphy
Animals are my friends ... and I don't eat my friends.
— George Bernard Shaw
If you have to explain your sense of humor, then you are performing for the wrong crowd.
— Shannon L. Alder
I saw a want ad. "light housekeeping." They said "Here, change this bulb." I said "I'll need some friends."
— Steven Wright
Everybody I know fails the acid test of friendship.
— Bill Watterson
Friends are nice. You can tell' 'em stuff, but you can swear like a gangster at an enemy. And that's all right, too.
— Lois Greiman
You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't wipe your friends off on a saddle.
— Kinky Friedman
When friends become overfriendly - smell fish!
— Adhish Mazumder
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
— Groucho Marx
You know, maybe we don't need enemies.""Yeah, best friends aree about all I can take. — Bill Watterson
I'm not saying I hate you right now; I'm saying that if I had a knife in my hand, you would be bleeding.
— Claire Contreras
Get out of my chair, dillhole!
— A.A. Milne
What you're experiencing isn't a dry spell. It's a dust bowl. Tell me, do you find cob webs in there every time you get yourself off?
— Parker S. Huntington
Friends are the support bras of life.
— Lisa Kleypas
Trust me-that toilet and me were best friends for the first few days I was here.
— Alexander Gordon Smith
The only reason I'm friends with any of you is because I outgrew the von Trapps, one annoying Austrian at a time.
— Lisa Mantchev
I take my only exercise acting as a pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who exercise regularly.
— Mark Twain
The first glass is for myself, the second for my friends, the third for good humor, and the forth for my enemies.
— William Temple
For Liza, a greeting is an opportunity to make new friends. For me, it's yet more people I'll have to avoid.
— Ariel Leve
Let's be friends based on mutual hate.
— Bryan Lee O'Malley
Friendship is the grease of life.
— Ogwo David Emenike
All of my friends want to be in my books, but no one wants to die ... ummm ... I write westerns ... everyone dies.
— Barry Andrew Chambers
Ya were going to turn me into a rat? Had I known that I wouldn't have tried to turn ya into a snake.
— Michelle M. Pillow
When old friends get together, everything else fades to insignificance.- War, Famine, Pestilence, and Death
— Robert Asprin
Paper cuts are like battle scars for the academic ... I, on the other hand, am best friends with Wikipedia.
— Kody Keplinger
The thing about friends is, you never know when you might need them. It's always best to keep them imprisoned nearby.
— Heidi Schulz
I'm not friends with Adam. Trust me, that man is as useful as a tape worm and as appealing as a raging case of syphilis.
— Ella Dominguez
And Daniel?" She asked."Daniel was a player-"
"Hey!"
"That's what they called the actors." Bill rolled his eyes. — Lauren Kate
But we were just picnicking friends
— Douglas Preston
I've known Don Mancini for 22 years. We're dear friends. I know his humor, I know his mind.
— David Kirschner
God gives us relatives; thank God, we can choose our friends.
— Addison Mizner
You don't need to be smarter; you just need dumber friends.
— Lois Greiman
Does it matter that the sausages are local? I'm just going to eat them, not make friends and go to the cinema with them.
— Louise Rennison
Harry and Hermione are very platonic friends. But I won't answer for anyone else, nudge-nudge wink-wink!
— J.K. Rowling
It's my job as best friend to make sure he's not a serial killer. Or an English major, not sure which one's worse.
— Shelly Crane
Don't discuss your relationship problems with friends. Your zombie problems are another story entirely.
— Jesse Petersen
Friends come and go like the waves of the ocean but the true ones stay, like an octopus on your face
— Anonymous
Jason: Evelyn's not going to like it if you're rude to her friends.Blake: They're her friends, not mine. — Rachel Hera
The worst thing was that her school-friends began to copy her. They thought it was dead cool to be a little monster like Lucretia Crum!
— Babette Cole
We do not tell old friends beneath our roof-tree that they are an offence to the eyesight.
— P.G. Wodehouse
One of Renee's friends asked her, "Does your boyfriend wear glasses?" She said, "No, he wears a Walkman.
— Rob Sheffield
This is the problem with forever friends. They know too much.
— Kristin Hannah
It's my new best friend, Claudius Templesmith, and as I expected it, he's inviting us to a feast.
— Suzanne Collins
Do not pay attention to my cousins. Every family needs a couple idiots and we keep them around for entertainment.
— Michelle M. Pillow
In a word, in adversity she was the best of comforters, in good fortune the most troublesome of friends ...
— William Makepeace Thackeray
One of these days, I would doubt the Gardeners a little too much and Zach was going to play handball with my head.
— Erica Lindquist
