First Time Funny Quotes: top 39 famous quotes about First Time Funny

First Time Funny Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational First Time Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

First Time Funny Quotes By Terry Pratchett: Building a temple didn't mean you believed in

Building a temple didn't mean you believed in gods, it just meant you believed in architecture. — Terry Pratchett

First Time Funny Quotes By Chic Murray: I first met my wife in the tunnel

I first met my wife in the tunnel of love. She was digging it at the time. — Chic Murray

First Time Funny Quotes By Mary E. Pearson: The world before us is a postcard, and

The world before us is a postcard, and I imagine the story we are writing on it. — Mary E. Pearson

First Time Funny Quotes By Rodney Dangerfield: Do ya remember the first time you had

Do ya remember the first time you had sex? I do, and boy, was I scared! I was alone! — Rodney Dangerfield

First Time Funny Quotes By Chelsea Handler: I was in a tailspin of confusion I

I was in a tailspin of confusion I hadn't experienced since the first time I heard George W. Bush speak. — Chelsea Handler

First Time Funny Quotes By Carroll Shelby: The first time I walked by a crap

The first time I walked by a crap table, I felt kind of funny. — Carroll Shelby

First Time Funny Quotes By Chelsea Handler: It always freaks me out when I go

It always freaks me out when I go to a sushi place and there's a Mexican. — Chelsea Handler

First Time Funny Quotes By Gilbert Morris: Funny thing, every time an angel appeared to

Funny thing, every time an angel appeared to someone in the Bible, the first thing he'd say was, "Fear not." ... I guess they were pretty spectacular. — Gilbert Morris

First Time Funny Quotes By Tariq Ramadan: We must confront our own racism. Discriminatory housing

We must confront our own racism. Discriminatory housing and employment policies are nothing more than institutionalised racism. — Tariq Ramadan

First Time Funny Quotes By Billy Crystal: From the first time I saw Sid Caesar

From the first time I saw Sid Caesar be funny I knew that's what I had to do. — Billy Crystal

First Time Funny Quotes By Donald O. Hebb: A large brain, like large government, may not

A large brain, like large government, may not be able to do simple things in a simple way. — Donald O. Hebb

First Time Funny Quotes By Carol Burnett: The first time someone said, 'What are your

The first time someone said, 'What are your measurements?' I answered, '37, 24, 38 - but not necessarily in that order.' — Carol Burnett

First Time Funny Quotes By Mary Baker Eddy: You embrace your body in your thought, and

You embrace your body in your thought, and you should delineate upon it thoughts of health, not of sickness. — Mary Baker Eddy

First Time Funny Quotes By David Coleman: The Republic-of-China - back in the Olympic Games

The Republic-of-China - back in the Olympic Games for the first time — David Coleman

First Time Funny Quotes By Daniel Webster: There is nothing so powerful as truth -

There is nothing so powerful as truth - and often nothing so strange. — Daniel Webster

First Time Funny Quotes By Tina Fey: At the upcoming Grammy Awards, Jennifer Lopez and

At the upcoming Grammy Awards, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony will perform together as the first time, as man and wife. Hopefully music. — Tina Fey

First Time Funny Quotes By Mike Birbiglia: There's nothing funny the first time about telling

There's nothing funny the first time about telling a story about getting beat up and it makes you leave high school. — Mike Birbiglia

First Time Funny Quotes By Maisie Williams: I haven't done Vine in a long time,

I haven't done Vine in a long time, and when I first started, I just did stuff that I thought was funny. — Maisie Williams

First Time Funny Quotes By Jerry Coleman: With one out in the first, Dave Roberts

With one out in the first, Dave Roberts looks a lot better than the last time he pitched against the Padres! — Jerry Coleman

First Time Funny Quotes By Sam Worthington: A mate of mine told me recently, 'It's

A mate of mine told me recently, 'It's the first time I've seen you work, Worthington.' I thought that was quite funny, but he was right. — Sam Worthington

First Time Funny Quotes By Carl Reiner: Lust is easy, Love is hard, Like is

Lust is easy, Love is hard, Like is the most important. — Carl Reiner

First Time Funny Quotes By Lauren DeStefano: There's a hazy smile on her lips that

There's a hazy smile on her lips that won't go away, and her hair is a mess. It's like a brushfire filled with casualties. — Lauren DeStefano

First Time Funny Quotes By Billy Joe Shaver: The Devil made me do it the first

The Devil made me do it the first time -
the second time I done it on my own — Billy Joe Shaver

First Time Funny Quotes By Murray Walker: That's the first time he had started from

That's the first time he had started from the front row in a Grand Prix, having done so in Canada earlier this year. — Murray Walker

First Time Funny Quotes By Lisa Kleypas: The first time you went out, you became

The first time you went out, you became mixed up with a group of radical political terrorists."
"That could have happened to anyone! — Lisa Kleypas

First Time Funny Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: I unwrapped my love for her like one

I unwrapped my love for her like one might unwrap leftovers. Gotta eat up the old stuff first, as a cannibal might say in a retirement home. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo

First Time Funny Quotes By Charles Woodson: I couldn't believe it. That was the first

I couldn't believe it. That was the first time I had ever seen somebody celebrate for a whole 40-second clock. That was ridiculous. — Charles Woodson

First Time Funny Quotes By Chuck Palahniuk: So this is why I write. Because most

So this is why I write. Because most times, your life isn't funny the first time through. Most times, you can hardly stand it. — Chuck Palahniuk

First Time Funny Quotes By Neville Goddard: Signs follow, they do not precede.

Signs follow, they do not precede. — Neville Goddard

First Time Funny Quotes By Penn Badgley: I think pineapple is very sexy. It reminds

I think pineapple is very sexy. It reminds me of bikinis and the beach. — Penn Badgley

First Time Funny Quotes By Ana Claudia Antunes: The first time I saw a mermaid in

The first time I saw a mermaid in my dream, and she looked so real...THAT.'s fishy!! — Ana Claudia Antunes

First Time Funny Quotes By Fred Allen: The first time I sang in the church

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion. — Fred Allen

First Time Funny Quotes By Olive B. Persimmon: The first time someone asked me if I

The first time someone asked me if I was pregnant, I was eating friend cheese at the Summit County Fair — Olive B. Persimmon

First Time Funny Quotes By Norman Chad: Seahawks beat Cardinals, 58-0. If Patriots beat Texans,

Seahawks beat Cardinals, 58-0. If Patriots beat Texans, 58-0, it will be first time in NFL history there were two 58-0 games in same week. — Norman Chad

First Time Funny Quotes By William S. Burroughs: If I knew how much you loved me,

If I knew how much you loved me, I would've shot you sooner. — William S. Burroughs

First Time Funny Quotes By Morgan Freeman: These walls are funny. First you hate 'em,

These walls are funny. First you hate 'em, then you get used to 'em. Enough time passes, you get so you depend on them. That's institutionalized. — Morgan Freeman

First Time Funny Quotes By Darynda Jones: For the first time in my life, I

For the first time in my life, I was in a shoot-out. A real, honest-to-goodness shoot-out with a bad guy. And, apparently, we both sucked. — Darynda Jones

First Time Funny Quotes By Abigail Roux: This Ty Grady had Zane wrapped around his

This Ty Grady had Zane wrapped around his finger. It was almost sweet. — Abigail Roux

First Time Funny Quotes By Garry Shandling: Carol Burnett was particularly funny. She swore for

Carol Burnett was particularly funny. She swore for the first time on television on Larry Sanders. — Garry Shandling