Fiction Humour Quotes: top 74 famous quotes about Fiction Humour

Fiction Humour Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Fiction Humour quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

The main reception foyer was almost empty but Ford nevertheless weaved his way through it. — Douglas Adams

Despite centuries of English literature, the most famous split infinitive in all of history comes from Star Trek. — R. Curtis Venture

Nothing makes you think you might need years of therapy like saying the word breasts in front of your mother. — Katie McGarry

Nonsense, this is my home and I must defend it. It's time for Santa to get serious. — Michael Diack

Don't try and make me feel better, Alex. I hate you."
"I hate you, too. — Simone Elkeles

Religion and nationalism? I defecate on the altar of religious conviction, and wipe my arse on the flag of national pride. — Ian Martin

Matt shrugged. It was a good shrug, too. All it was missing was a beret, a stripy shirt and a Gauloise cigarette. — D.C. Farmer

Fiction is what happens inside a writer's head. Reality takes place outside it — Barry A. Whittingham

Sylvia grabs my sleeve. "He's a looker."
"I know. The problem is, he knows it, too. — Simone Elkeles

This is flight 121 to Los Angeles. If your travel plans today do not include Los Angeles, now would be the perfect time to disembark. — Douglas Adams

With every step, I cursed the person who had ever invented the saying: "Speak of the devil". Clearly, they had no sympathy for me! — Adele Rose

Step up to red alert."
Sir, are you absolutely sure? It does mean changing the bulb."
- Rimmer & Kryten, "Red Dwarf — Rob Grant

A day without someone to hold you or a day without someone to share, is a day easily forgotten.' - Vera Richardson in Mr Alhourani's Dead Man's Spots — D.M. Lee

Don't mind Russ," he says. "He's a good kid underneath all those holes, although it's a wonder he doesn't spring a leak when he drinks — Sara Gruen

Does bad luck come in 3's...or is it multiples of 3? — Tara Ford

Duke to Michel: I'm fairly certain that even if
you'd struggle in a quiz against a pigeon, you are capable enough of opening doors. — Elias Zapple

The pleasant fact is that the British are not much good at violent crime except in fiction, which is of course as it should be. — Bill Bryson

Furious and wild with fear, the potatoes flailed the air with their leaves and stamped their roots, but obviously this got them nowhere. — Stanislaw Lem

This has serveral consequences, starting with screwing over most cryptography algorithms
translation: all your bank account are belong to us
— Charles Stross

Don't go getting offended my friend, I have much worse things to say to you.-Ad'Dam, Journey from Atremes — Riley Amos Westbrook

People are writing post-apocalyptic fiction like there's no tomorrow! — Cassandra Page

Life is the courier of the universal brilliance. Elysse — Elysse Poetis

Boys don't gossip."
"Pah! You don't know us as well as you think."
This was a disturbing prospect. — Jennifer Echols

When you least expect it, you run in to an old friend from school, or the neighbour's cat, not Mary the Virgin Mother of God. — Margot McCuaig

If you want the extra-ordinary, you've got to be willing to forsake the ordinary' - Annie Grimes in Mr Alhourani's Dead Man's Spots — D.M. Lee

The Professor is coming... — M.K. Hopkins

My philosophy in life is to eat, drink and investigate - in that order. — Mel Healy

Holy moly Pikachu bolts! — Adele Rose

Need to get to Ruislip by sparrow-fart though', said the squadron leader. 'Think you can do that? Can I come along for the ride? — Robert Rankin

When life throws shit at you, grow great, big, fuck off roses. — Heather Hill

Can you put your hands on my crotch?"
"Why, hell no, I cannot." I didn't remember anything like this happening in Pride and Prejudice. — Jennifer Echols

There's a time and place for everything, and I believe it's called 'fan fiction'. — Joss Whedon

If a wizard should take up residence in your garden and requests food, you are obliged to feed him. — Mark Jackman

But the purpose of the book is not the horror, it is horror's defeat. — Terry Pratchett

I had shaved my beard for her-a huge disappointment, because I'd enjoyed my three weeks looking like a bank robber. — Jennifer Echols

That's what I always liked about science fiction - you can make the world end. Humour is my multiple warhead delivery system. — Gary Shteyngart

It's not really wine," he said. "It's Diet Coke. And if anyone ever serves you brown wine with a foamy head, send it back. — Jennifer Echols

His tricks had raised the temperature of the room considerably, although I was pretty sure his presence alone had that effect. — Adele Rose

There's always time for arguin' when you're a Fuentes. — Simone Elkeles

Foolish potato, talking to her like that won't work. You've got to be mean and show off your foil-wrapped rigidity. — Michael Diack

The harder I work, the luckier I become. — Terry Pratchett

I didn't wait for Luck. I tore after it with a truck. — A.A. Bell

Humour is a fine line to walk in poetry, as in fiction. I just think it's harder to write. It's harder to keep the respect of the reader too. — George Murray

What is Gornite? Why can't you heat it? Will it make you laugh? - I hope so — Lucas Riddle

Clearly, she hadn't heard of the two words 'social' and 'life'. — Adele Rose

There exists a microscopic breed of brain beetle, commonly known as an 'idea'. An idea desires only one thing: To catch the perfect brain wave. — Leah Broadby

To write your dreams of fantasy, is to create fantasy in another's dreams — Rob Shepherd

No matter how strong you are, you cannot hold open the jaws of a great-white shark with your bare hands ... that can do your brain. — Ivan Stoikov

Human Millipede 6 was the highest-grossing movie of the summer and returned Nicholas Cage to Oscar-winning status. — C.Z. Hazard

Does Playboy still run fiction?"
"I have absolutely no idea, Melinda," he said, grinning. — Robyn Carr

What's with all those tattoos? Makes you look like a hooligan."
"I suspect I am a hooligan. — Simone Elkeles

Our friend Chewy doesn't speak much, but he chews a lot of tobacco so we call him Chewbacco. — Michael Diack

You put cow dung on my face?' 'Every day religiously until you were three. Why else do you think your skin is so clear? — Renita D'Silva

Whoa, who was that?"
"Madison Stone," Kiara mutters.
"Introduce me to her."
"Why?"
Because I know it'll annoy the shit out of you. — Simone Elkeles

Martin, at my age, eroticism is reduced to enjoying caramel custard and looking at widows' necks.' - Senor Sempere. — Carlos Ruiz Zafon

I'm not afraid of dying. I'm afraid I'll never get a chance to live! — A.A. Bell

Shocked my old friend from China, Deja Vu, when I turned up at his door without notice. — Nikhil Sharda

A text pops up on the screen. It's from Luis. I can't help but grin when I read his perfectly thought-out message.
Luis: Hey — Simone Elkeles

Life is way too short, so try to enjoy every minute of it with a sense of humor! — Christina Scalise

What are you boys doing?" she asks, as if we're still little kids messing around.
"Arguin'," Carlos says matter-of-factly. — Simone Elkeles

Life," said Marvin dolefully, "loathe it or ignore it, you can't like it. — Douglas Adams

She ignores me, so I cup my hands over my mouth and do something I haven't done in years - barnyard sounds. — Simone Elkeles

Ben walks in the room and asks, "What were you guys doing?" Nikki says "Nothing" at the same time I say, "Your sister and I were just makin' out. — Simone Elkeles

You look like a hot tamale."
"That's not really a compliment. — Simone Elkeles

I wanted to remind you that you do not allow me to deliver boats, as I have been known to crash them. — Jennifer Echols

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be a dickhead. Well, I did. — Simone Elkeles

Would you like me to put you out of your misery, before I put you out of your misery? — Paul Cude

Cause if you were my girlfriend and a stud like me was livin' in your house, I'd kiss you in front of the guy every chance I got as a reminder. — Simone Elkeles

You've got a big ego, Fuentes."
"That's not all I've got. — Simone Elkeles

And at that moment the alligators burst into the room. — Genevieve Cogman

Apparently, faith in life is one thing and faith in literature is another. — Gerald Weaver

Sadly, like many times in life, including winning the lottery, we don't always get what we wish for. — Adele Rose

Suddenly, a voice called from the darkness. Taylor leapt like a salmon, then became rooted to the spot like a tin of salmon. — Mark Jackman

Nobody ever drowned in their own sweat. — Veronica Rossi