Fart Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Fart

Fart Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Fart quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

I wonder why no one called the police about the rocket launcher? God knows my neighbors usually report it if I so much as fart in my backyard. (Bubba) — Sherrilyn Kenyon

It's so Quite around here, I'm sure I heard a Bird Fart! — Dorothy Garlock

Some of them relate to farts but they are not fart jokes. They would just be a fart in the joke but it's about something else ... — Demetri Martin

A celebrity farts, and everyone endures, but the unpopular will be thrased to death. — Michael Bassey Johnson

If you're on a plane and the person in front of you starts slowly tilting to one side, it means he's letting out a fart. Take cover! — Jessica Zafra

After all, a silent fart has a smell that really sticks! — W.W. Wright

The average pregnant woman farts 15 times that! — Jessica Simpson

Well, don't fart or you'll scare the deer," he continued seriously. "They have very sensitive noses and ears. — Jack Gantos

Normally I laugh at such things, because there is nothing like a fart to lighten up a tense situation. — Kevin Hearne

Love is like a lost fart. If you have to force it, it's probably shit. — Stephen K. Amos

Though I've turned 21, I don't drink. I'm an old hag now. I'm just an old fart. — Mena Suvari

My father once told me, and it's stuck with me to this day: As you walk through life, every time you fart it pushes you forward. — Bob Saget

I hate dates. I sit at home all day, and I don't fart once. I go on a date and I've got twenty in the bank straight away. — Carl Barron

Love is the fart
Of every heart
It pains the man when 'tis kept close,
And others doth offend, when 'tis let loose. — John Suckling

[the car] backfired a lot. Loud enough that when I drove in the wrong part of town and it let loose with a gas fart, people actually ducked for cover. — Adrienne Wilder

The worst thing a girl could do on a date is fart louder than me. — Niall Horan

Rock n' roll is for the young idiots, not an old fart like me. — Al Jourgensen

This is bigger than a fart in a bathtub, you know. — John Marsden

I was half-afraid that I would do something awful, like faint or fart right in front of the queen, but all went well. — Oliver Sacks

If it doesn't fart or eat hay, she isn't interested. — Prince Philip

I tell a lot of fart and poop jokes. I can't help it. I have no filter, and it just comes out. — Tyler Posey

Ooh, bet that went over like a fart in church. — Gayla Drummond

Left to my own devices, I'm content to wake myself with a fart. — Nicole Krauss

Probing the corners of the room like a caged cat, fly caught in a jar, fart in an elevator. — Dennis Vickers

Let me see if I can put this in scientific terms: Think of autism like a fart, and vaccines are the finger you pull to make it happen. — Jenny McCarthy

He wondered how many lives had been snuffed out by that fart. — George R R Martin

I play around with my Japanese Garden. Since Im half way to 70 today I need to start pruning trees and sharpening plants like an old fart. — Jason Bateman

Sif seemed so refined, so graceful, so unlikely to fart or belch in public. — Rick Riordan

I'm a fart in a gale of wind, a humble violet under a cow pat. — Djuna Barnes

That dragon queen's got the real item, the kind that don't break and run when you fart in their general direction. — George R R Martin

It didn't amount to a fart in a windstorm, nohow. — Ferrol Sams

That is a fart without wind ... in reference to when you can't back up what you say. very funny. — Faye Kellerman

It was the pink elephant in the room, the thunderous fart in the elevator. — David Wong

Michael put a deodorant in the car which Julie wished he would stop called,'Aunty Alice's anti-fart stick,' in front of the children. — Elizabeth M. Thompson

a child's disquiet is as potent as a damp fart. — Michel Faber

If I could light my own farts I could fly to the moon or at least Uranus. — Robin Williams

One little known fact: The water that spouts out of a whale's blowhole in such a picturesque way reeks like the most toxic fart imaginable. — Susan Casey

When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell. — Adam Carolla

I burp, I fart. I'm a real woman. — Kate Winslet

Nope, you stick out like a fart in a church. — James Patterson

Some nasty old fart and his weird wife died, but the airboat swamp tour was awesome." She — Ellen Byron

These young folks, with that twerking, I thought, just like an old fart. — R.K. Lilley

I swear by the self-assurance with which elderly men sitting in public tilt sideways to allow the gas to escape loudly. — Pawan Mishra

I trip and I burp and I fart, like everybody else. — Britney Spears

Rather than hanging around like a fart under a duvet. — Ian Rankin

A fart is not only a political statement; it is also a weapon. — Bridget Christie

I'm only interested in heavy metal when it's me who's playing it. I suppose it's a bit like smelling your own farts. — John Entwistle

And now to sleep, to dream...perchance to fart. — Anthony Bourdain

Farts and poop are still funny and will always be funny. — Mark Hoppus

I'm into paradoxes. I wanted to make an album about them, but the group told me I was a pretentious fart. They were right. — Brian May

Dirk Moeller didn't know if he could fart his way into a major diplomatic incident. But he was ready to find out. — John Scalzi

Damn! Blazing Hades! That filth-eating son of a pig-fart! — Diana Gabaldon

In the cosmos of time, there's not a cocksucker in this room who is more than a fart in the wind! — Daniel S. Pena

Every man knows the smell of his own fart. — Confucius

If I fail, the film industry writes me off as another statistic. If I succeed, they pay me a million bucks to fly out to Hollywood and fart. — George A. Romero

When the silence gets warmer, the fart has been released — T. Haque

Me? I'm nothing. I'm a fart in the air conditioning. I'm always there, but most of the time nobody knows it. — Orson Scott Card

Hung in the air like fart gas in an elevator, insecurity in a prom ballroom, guilt around a police lineup. — Dennis Vickers

You could make friends with a possessed unicorn, couldn't you?"
"Probably so. We both fart rainbows. — Jamie Farrell

At a certain point, you have to face the fact that you've turned into an old fart. — Robert Gottlieb

I noticed Stucks was wearing - maybe ironically, possibly not - a T-shirt that read Save Gas, Fart in a Jar. — Gillian Flynn

My voice was jus' a duck fart in a hurrycane. — David Mitchell

An employer's fart is music to his employees' ears. — Mokokoma Mokhonoana

A woman's got one life: She's got to reach out and grab it with both hands, or it'll pass her by and leave nothing but a smelly old fart in her face. — Robin Schone

[When] you're dying laughing because your three-year-old made a fart joke, it doesn't matter what else is going on. That's real happiness. — Gwyneth Paltrow

Fart for freedom, fart for liberty - and fart proudly. — Benjamin Franklin

Success is like a fart - only your own smells nice. — James P. Hogan

They come quietly - like a silent but deadly fart - and they get you before you can pinch your nose. — Terry Pratchett

The biggest milestone in a relationship is when you can fart in front of each other freely and loudly. Without judgements — Himmilicious

My philosophy of dating is to just fart right away. — Jenny McCarthy

I think I would know Nora's fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women. — James Joyce

ObamaCare is to health care as a fart is to an elevator. — Greg Gutfeld

And so Deb is the only person in the world who gives a rusty possum fart whether I live or die. — Jeff Lindsay

It's become absolutely horrible the way the people with the money decide they can fart in the kitchen. — Steven Soderbergh

Maybe it was me," Grandma said."Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart? — Janet Evanovich

I don't usually fly in first class, but I fart in first class. — Demetri Martin

Jerry Ford is so dumb he can't fart and chew gum at the same time. — Lyndon B. Johnson

Way gay," I reassured him. "Like, super gay. I fart and rainbows come out." Oh, crap. — T.J. Klune

Any man can fart in a closed room and say that he commands the wind — Scott Lynch

The only thing that bothers me is if I'm in a restaurant and I'm eating and someone says, 'Hey, mind if I smoke?' I always say, 'No. Mind if I fart? — Steve Martin

Pity, I've learned, is like a fart. You can tolerate your own, but you simply can't stand anyone else's. — Jonathan Tropper

If people are talking behind your back, then just fart. — Thabang Gideon Magaola

Bathroom humor, fart, and poo poo humor in movies gets a laugh. It's a pretty easy audience, and that's been around for ages. — Selma Blair

And then all of a sudden she let out the biggest, loudest, smelliest fart in the history of farts. Mom — R.J. Palacio

You stand out like a fart in a church. — James Patterson

It's wetter than a taco fart down there and just as smelly," Mr. — Stephen King

In spite of the fact that I hurt more than when I was in labor, I was pretty sure the doctor was just going to tell me I needed to fart really bad. — Jenny Lawson

[A]ll I want to do is sit on my ass and fart and think of Dante. — Samuel Beckett

I have a pacemaker in, but it doesn't work very well, because every time I fart the garage door opens. — Frank Carson

So, you're worried that a pink dragon will fly over the concent and fart nerve gas on us? — Neal Stephenson

Gods curse it, Kel, you heard what he said!"
"I heard a fart," Kel said grimly. You know where those come from. Let it go." -Faleron and Kel — Tamora Pierce

That has less significance than a dog's fart. — Mao Zedong

I'm not a fan of purposely farting in front of other people. If you have to fart, leave the room. — Tina Fey

I have taught my Margaery what comely is worth, I hope. Less than a mummer's fart. — George R R Martin

Ela did you just fart? Because you just blew me away. — Mark A. Cooper

I don't give a fiddler's fart! — Frank McCourt

I fart in your general direction. — Graham Chapman

Farting, don't think, just fart. — John Cage

I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different. — Kurt Vonnegut

At one time or another, farts have coincided with every other sound, including this quote. — Craig Benzine