Family Funny Quotes: top 75 famous quotes about Family Funny

Family Funny Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Family Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo. — Henny Youngman

As soon as I arrive at the house, Laurie starts running, hits my chest, knocks me down, and licks my face. It's become a family ritual. — Beverly Sills

I realized my family was funny, because nobody ever wanted to leave our house. — Anthony Anderson

My family's always been really funny. I feel like comedy's hard. I feel like it's so important. — Christine Taylor

Zane sighed. Jovan and Mother were just the same. "Maybe later" meant no. — C.J. Milbrandt

Important families are like potatoes. The best parts are underground. — Francis Bacon

I come from a stupid family. My father worked in a bank. They caught him stealing pens. — Rodney Dangerfield

Fuck it ... That's really the attitude that keeps a family together, it's not "we love each other", it's just "fuck it, man. — Louis C.K.

I am the shortest and least funny person in my family. — Heather Donahue

I'm the youngest in my family, and everyone is very funny, and I was always trying to keep up with them. I just loved making people laugh. — Lisa Kudrow

I've always liked being funny and making people laugh. I was a cut-up when I was a kid, and was always doing bits for my friends and family. — Busy Philipps

I am an only child. I have one sister. — Woody Allen

Whenever anyone finds out there are seven kids in my family, the imagine my mom and dad having sex. — Rachel DeWoskin

It's funny how people can take up so much room
in your heart
but you still have plenty left
for someone else — Marilyn Hilton

Funny, isn't it? I've known every love possible, but as the years stretched out, the love I longed for the most is the one I shared with my sister. — Josephine Angelini

There are so many other fun ways to dishonor the family name that buying girls' underwear shouldn't be one of them. — Rin Chupeco

Most of my relatives are police marksmen, apart from my grandad who was a bank robber. He died recently, surrounded by his family. — Milton Jones

I think I'm funny because my family, my siblings were funny. — Martin Short

Scientist say that music can change the speed of a heartbeat. They failed to add: so can a text message. — Holly Smale

I was the class clown at school, but at home, my family wasn't very funny. — Carrot Top

Too bad. Family members hit you by accident. Psychopathic whores tend to come back for more. — Richelle Mead

My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen. — Jimmy Carr

My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny. — P. J. O'Rourke

At this moment, I know that the answer has to be yes. I am defeated. By my own father. How Darth Vader. — Denis Markell

I love family reunions. Maybe next year we could pass out samurai swords. — Doug Solter

She says screens are the cigarettes of our age. They're toxic, and we're only going to realize the damage they're doing when it's too late. — Sophie Kinsella

A family is a group of people who keep confusing you with someone you were as a kid. — Robert Brault

Women were created gullible. It they weren't no babies would be born. — Dakota Dawn

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. — Lewis Grizzard

It's funny to think that Christmas - a time known for its joyful togetherness - can be the loneliest time of the year for some. — Giovanna Fletcher

Family life got better and we got our car back - as soon as we put 'I love Mom' on the license plate. — Erma Bombeck

It's funny, 'cause you think surfing is your whole life, but then when you make a family it seems like it's not at all. — Joel Parkinson

I come from a family of musicians. Even the sewing machine is a Singer. — Frank Carson

There just is not one person in my family who is not funny. — Michael Keaton

As the middle child of the Laurel Canyon Adams Family, Whit was surprisingly chill on the subject of ampire-vays. — M. Beth Bloom

I always thought that my canine family tended to view me as the funny-looking two-legged dog who runs the can opener. — Roger Caras

Freud is all nonsense; the secret of neurosis is to be found in the family battle of wills to see who can refuse the longest to help with the dishes. — Julian Mitchell

You'll see a lot of funny stuff, you'll see a lot of daddy-knows-best stuff, you'll see a lot of me and my wife trying to hold the family together. — Russell Simmons

I love playing a dad. It's hard to find family dramas that are genuinely funny. — Peter Gallagher

... smart, funny, sweet, nice to his family, good looking in an adorable kind of way. — Penny Reid

Our neighbors were so excited when a black family moved in that they got them a welcome basket with the first three seasons of The Cosby Show on DVD. — Flynn Meaney

The only duration of family life that satisfies the loftiest longings of the human soul is forever. — Russell M. Nelson

Our family was nearly torn apart on several occasions by arguments started when the refrigerator door was open for what my father deemed as 'too long. — Wes Locher

I come from a long line of miserable people. — Arlene Schindler

I was funny around my family. My family, they're pretty funny, too. — Wanda Sykes

My family isn't really Italian. We're more like Olive Garden Italian. — Mike Birbiglia

I sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church. — Paul Lynde

By the time we get to church, I need church cuz I've been yelled at by everyone in the family. — Jeff Foxworthy

Some things in life are certain; death, taxes, and that your family will piss you off. — Melanie Finn

I had a very funny family. — Zach Braff

Data is your Beta... — Kshitij Bhatia

My cousin is gay, I always tell him that in our family tree, he's in the fruit section. — Rodney Dangerfield

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap. — Rodney Dangerfield

You set fire to my house, killed my family, and ate my dog. But steal my boyfriend? That's a step too far. — Libba Bray

Fat people are funny ... until obesity pays your loved one a visit. — Mokokoma Mokhonoana

I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of. — Henny Youngman

Friends are what God gives you to make up for your family. — Bruce White

Funny how you can forget that every family isn't like yours. — Patrick Ness

We were a very funny family. Humour was the tool with which my brother and I tried to get attention. We were always trying to be the funniest. — Meg Cabot

It's just hassle of having friends and family an' that. — Karl Pilkington

Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry. — Jerry Seinfeld

My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, "Crick". — Henny Youngman

I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business. — Wanda Sykes

It's not common for a woman on television, especially if she's the mom of the family, to be funny. She's usually a straight man or foil. — Martha Plimpton

Cockblocked by the phone. Wanna bet it's Focus On The Family or some Satanic organization like? — Andrea Speed

Funny thing- Morgenstern's folk's were named Max and Valerie and his father was a doctor. — William Goldman

My son is 21. He'll be 22 if I let him. — Henny Youngman

My friends and family always thought I was pretty funny, but I don't know if they thought I was get-my-own-show funny. — Nick Kroll

Life is a mighty joke that is not meant to be funny. — Janvier Chouteu-Chando

I don't drink a lot. My family calls me an old soul. And my friends call me a pussy. — Mike Birbiglia

Get in my way again, boy, and you're going to learn that Velkan isn't the only one in this family who has fangs. Retta to Viktor — Sherrilyn Kenyon

Satan impregnated my mother one lovely spring morning. We didn't have the heart to tell my father. — Holly Hood

Some people won't have kids, but I'm not going to have parents. I'm burning their birth certificates and defacing their gravestones tonight. — Bauvard

Better a loving single-parent family than a 'conventional' family where the parents hate each other and the father is a demagogue. — Moby

It's funny how God will just keep using you, and our motto around our family forever has been, 'Just let Him use you.' — Kim Fields