Evan Esar Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Evan Esar quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Many people will laugh at the drop of a hat, especially if the man is still in it. — Evan Esar

Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind. — Evan Esar

The car was invented as a convenient place to sit out traffic jams — Evan Esar

It takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together, but it takes only one of them to scatter it all over the highway. — Evan Esar

A cynic sees little to admire in the world, while the world sees even less to admire in him. — Evan Esar

The little boy who goes to the store and forgets what his mother sent him for, will probably grow up to be a congressman. — Evan Esar

Formerly when a man worked ten hours a day, it was called economic slavery; nowadays it is called moonlighting. — Evan Esar

Most new books are forgotten within a year, especially by those who borrow them. — Evan Esar

A vacation is like love - anticipated with pleasure, experienced with discomfort, and remembered with nostalgia. — Evan Esar

Lecturers should remember that the capacity of the mind to absorb is limited to what the seat can endure. — Evan Esar

Worry makes people thin, except when they worry about being fat. — Evan Esar

Some people blow their top, but all people blow their bottom. — Evan Esar

The word impossible is peculiar because if you examine it closely, you'll find that most of it is possible. — Evan Esar

A word to the wise is
unnecessary. — Evan Esar

Times change: it was once the custom to take a bath weekly and religion daily. — Evan Esar

After paying for the wedding, about the only thing a father has left to give away is the bride. — Evan Esar

Bureaucracy is more people doing less things, and taking more time to do them worse. — Evan Esar

A homosexual is the only man who ever meets a man he would like to marry if he were a woman. — Evan Esar

The man who doctors himself with the aid of medical books, runs the risk of dying of a typographical error. — Evan Esar

[Statistics] Fiction in its most uninteresting form. — Evan Esar

Good teachers cost a lot; but, poor teachers cost a lot more. — Evan Esar

Only one man has the right to boast, and that's the man who never does. — Evan Esar

Communism is a form of government under which every citizen at election time enjoys the privilege of voting Yes. — Evan Esar

When laziness attacks a woman, it always avoids her tongue. — Evan Esar

Ego: The only thing that can keep growing without nourishment. — Evan Esar

Under dictatorship, the people in prison are always superior to the people who put them there. — Evan Esar

There are two kinds of leaders: those who are interested in the flock, and those who are interested in the fleece. — Evan Esar

Adam and Eve were the first of all unions to defy management. — Evan Esar

Divorce is the price people play for playing with matches. — Evan Esar

In elections, the undecided vote is usually the deciding factor. — Evan Esar

A man doesn't have vacation problems: his boss tells him when to take them, and his wife tells him where. — Evan Esar

Many an actor does the stage more ham than good. — Evan Esar

There's only one thing worse than to live without working, and that is to work without living. — Evan Esar

The difference between two men is usually a woman. — Evan Esar

Many a woman would get a divorce if she could do it without making her husband happy. — Evan Esar

Every bride and groom would do well to remember that in wedding, the we comes before the I. — Evan Esar

A woman is always ready to describe another woman as charming, but only if the other woman is not charming. — Evan Esar

Somebody is always doing something that somebody else said couldn't be done. — Evan Esar

Life is a game played on us while we are playing other games. — Evan Esar

If it required some effort to go from today to tomorrow, some people would always remain in yesterday. — Evan Esar

It's not the loss of life that makes the death bitter
it's the obituaries. — Evan Esar

Some people worry because they are in debt; others, because they can't even get in. — Evan Esar

The quizzical expression of the monkey at the zoo comes from his wondering whether he is his brother's keeper, or his keeper's brother. — Evan Esar

The tongue is the only muscle in the human body that never gets tired [talking]. — Evan Esar

Egotist: 1. A person who is his own best friend. 2. An I specialist. 3. A man whose opinions all change, except the one he has of himself. — Evan Esar

If you want to be different nowadays, just act normal. — Evan Esar

A bright eye indicates curiosity; a black eye, too much. — Evan Esar

Corrupt officials are usually close-mouthed and open-handed. — Evan Esar

The computer saves man a lot of guesswork, but so does the bikini. — Evan Esar

Hope is tomorrow's veneer over today's disappointment. — Evan Esar

If you want to know how little your dignity is worth, take it to the pawnbroker. — Evan Esar

Some men take good care of a car; others treat it like one of the family. — Evan Esar

The man who has a girl in every port is not a sailor but a wholesaler. — Evan Esar

The lecturer who is full of his subject is usually very slow in emptying himself. — Evan Esar

An expert is someone who takes something you already know and makes it sound confusing. — Evan Esar

Let those who want to, arrive
Let those who want to, leave
Let those who want to, stay
With out harm to me or mine — Evan Esar

The disadvantage of becoming wise is that you realize how foolish you've been. — Evan Esar

If you don't like to make excuses or apologies, stop making promises. — Evan Esar

The modern dance is no dance in the first place, and when you've finally learned it, it's not modern any more. — Evan Esar

A girl never cares who casts the first stone at her
as long as it's a diamond — Evan Esar

With a braggart, it's no sooner done than said. — Evan Esar

The survival of the fittest is going to make some man very lonesome some day. — Evan Esar

Play: Work that you enjoy doing for nothing. — Evan Esar

You can always make a loan at a bank if you can show sufficient evidence that you don't need it. — Evan Esar

A husband is like a fire - he goes out when unattended. — Evan Esar

Conscience is what makes a boy tell his mother before his sister does. — Evan Esar

A special skill, like speaking several languages, or keeping your mouth shut in one. — Evan Esar

The most popular form of altruism is giving to others the advice you cannot use yourself. — Evan Esar

The only time a lazy man ever succeeds is when he tries to do nothing. — Evan Esar

Many a husband lives to regret the extravagant fee he bestowed upon the minister who sentenced him. — Evan Esar

An actor is a man with an infinite capacity for taking praise. — Evan Esar

You can always tell the golfer who's winning: he's the one who keeps telling his opponent that it's only a game. — Evan Esar

Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration,and inspiration. — Evan Esar

The only thing worse than being on the wrong side of an argument is to be on the right side with no one listening. — Evan Esar

Congress would give the people what they wanted if the people knew what they wanted, and if Congress could give it to them. — Evan Esar

Character is what you have left when you've lost everything you can lose. — Evan Esar

All men are created equal and endowed by their Creator with a mighty urge to become otherwise. — Evan Esar

A wedding is the formality a man has to go through before going to work for a new boss. — Evan Esar

Do a little more every day than you are expected to do, and soon you will be expected to do more. — Evan Esar

Divorce has become so easy nowadays that women have stopped crying at weddings. — Evan Esar

Charm is to a woman what perfume is to a flower. — Evan Esar

A hamburger by any other name costs twice as much. — Evan Esar

Think twice before you speak, and then you may be able to say something more insulting than if you spoke right out at once. — Evan Esar

You can tell a man's taste in literature by his judgment in knowing what not to read. — Evan Esar

There is nothing more dignified than a corpse. — Evan Esar

Eloquence is the art of saying as little as possible but making it sound as much as possible. — Evan Esar

Admiration: Our feeling of delight that another person resembles us. — Evan Esar

The only thing more certain than the hatred of enemies is the envy of friends. — Evan Esar

Reactionary: One who wants the rules enforced so nobody can take his pile away from him the way he got it from others. — Evan Esar

To a teenager, it cannot be true love if her family approves of him. — Evan Esar

Don't be a hog: the only time a hog helps the community is when he dies. — Evan Esar

Common sense is usually lack of imagination, and imagination is usually lack of common sense. — Evan Esar

A man picks a wife about the same way an apple picks a farmer. — Evan Esar

You can't judge the ability of a doctor by the amount of praise the undertakers give him. — Evan Esar

A dollar saved is a dollar earned but seldom vice versa. — Evan Esar

The saddest thing in life is to marry a woman who looks like a cook
and isn't. — Evan Esar

Some couples divorce because of a misunderstandin g; others, because they understand each other too well. — Evan Esar

Many a man works himself to death by burying himself in his work. — Evan Esar

Some people would never get any exercise at all if they didn't have to walk to their cars. — Evan Esar

Some men are so eager for success that they are even willing to work for it. — Evan Esar