Evan Esar Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Evan Esar quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: Many people will laugh at the drop of

Many people will laugh at the drop of a hat, especially if the man is still in it. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth

Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: The car was invented as a convenient place

The car was invented as a convenient place to sit out traffic jams — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: It takes hundreds of nuts to hold a

It takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together, but it takes only one of them to scatter it all over the highway. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: A cynic sees little to admire in the

A cynic sees little to admire in the world, while the world sees even less to admire in him. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: The little boy who goes to the store

The little boy who goes to the store and forgets what his mother sent him for, will probably grow up to be a congressman. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: Formerly when a man worked ten hours a

Formerly when a man worked ten hours a day, it was called economic slavery; nowadays it is called moonlighting. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: Most new books are forgotten within a year,

Most new books are forgotten within a year, especially by those who borrow them. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: A vacation is like love - anticipated with

A vacation is like love - anticipated with pleasure, experienced with discomfort, and remembered with nostalgia. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: Lecturers should remember that the capacity of the

Lecturers should remember that the capacity of the mind to absorb is limited to what the seat can endure. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: Worry makes people thin, except when they worry

Worry makes people thin, except when they worry about being fat. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: Some people blow their top, but all people

Some people blow their top, but all people blow their bottom. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: The word impossible is peculiar because if you

The word impossible is peculiar because if you examine it closely, you'll find that most of it is possible. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: A word to the wise is unnecessary.

A word to the wise is
unnecessary. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: Times change: it was once the custom to

Times change: it was once the custom to take a bath weekly and religion daily. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: After paying for the wedding, about the only

After paying for the wedding, about the only thing a father has left to give away is the bride. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: Bureaucracy is more people doing less things, and

Bureaucracy is more people doing less things, and taking more time to do them worse. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: A homosexual is the only man who ever

A homosexual is the only man who ever meets a man he would like to marry if he were a woman. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: The man who doctors himself with the aid

The man who doctors himself with the aid of medical books, runs the risk of dying of a typographical error. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: [Statistics] Fiction in its most uninteresting form.

[Statistics] Fiction in its most uninteresting form. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: Good teachers cost a lot; but, poor teachers

Good teachers cost a lot; but, poor teachers cost a lot more. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: Only one man has the right to boast,

Only one man has the right to boast, and that's the man who never does. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: Communism is a form of government under which

Communism is a form of government under which every citizen at election time enjoys the privilege of voting Yes. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: When laziness attacks a woman, it always avoids

When laziness attacks a woman, it always avoids her tongue. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: Ego: The only thing that can keep growing

Ego: The only thing that can keep growing without nourishment. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: Under dictatorship, the people in prison are always

Under dictatorship, the people in prison are always superior to the people who put them there. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: There are two kinds of leaders: those who

There are two kinds of leaders: those who are interested in the flock, and those who are interested in the fleece. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: Adam and Eve were the first of all

Adam and Eve were the first of all unions to defy management. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: Divorce is the price people play for playing

Divorce is the price people play for playing with matches. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: In elections, the undecided vote is usually the

In elections, the undecided vote is usually the deciding factor. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: A man doesn't have vacation problems: his boss

A man doesn't have vacation problems: his boss tells him when to take them, and his wife tells him where. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: Many an actor does the stage more ham

Many an actor does the stage more ham than good. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: There's only one thing worse than to live

There's only one thing worse than to live without working, and that is to work without living. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: The difference between two men is usually a

The difference between two men is usually a woman. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: Many a woman would get a divorce if

Many a woman would get a divorce if she could do it without making her husband happy. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: Every bride and groom would do well to

Every bride and groom would do well to remember that in wedding, the we comes before the I. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: A woman is always ready to describe another

A woman is always ready to describe another woman as charming, but only if the other woman is not charming. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: Somebody is always doing something that somebody else

Somebody is always doing something that somebody else said couldn't be done. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: Life is a game played on us while

Life is a game played on us while we are playing other games. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: If it required some effort to go from

If it required some effort to go from today to tomorrow, some people would always remain in yesterday. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: It's not the loss of life that makes

It's not the loss of life that makes the death bitter
it's the obituaries. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: Some people worry because they are in debt;

Some people worry because they are in debt; others, because they can't even get in. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: The quizzical expression of the monkey at the

The quizzical expression of the monkey at the zoo comes from his wondering whether he is his brother's keeper, or his keeper's brother. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: The tongue is the only muscle in the

The tongue is the only muscle in the human body that never gets tired [talking]. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: Egotist: 1. A person who is his own

Egotist: 1. A person who is his own best friend. 2. An I specialist. 3. A man whose opinions all change, except the one he has of himself. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: If you want to be different nowadays, just

If you want to be different nowadays, just act normal. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: A bright eye indicates curiosity; a black eye,

A bright eye indicates curiosity; a black eye, too much. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: Corrupt officials are usually close-mouthed and open-handed.

Corrupt officials are usually close-mouthed and open-handed. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: The computer saves man a lot of guesswork,

The computer saves man a lot of guesswork, but so does the bikini. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: Hope is tomorrow's veneer over today's disappointment.

Hope is tomorrow's veneer over today's disappointment. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: If you want to know how little your

If you want to know how little your dignity is worth, take it to the pawnbroker. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: Some men take good care of a car;

Some men take good care of a car; others treat it like one of the family. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: The man who has a girl in every

The man who has a girl in every port is not a sailor but a wholesaler. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: The lecturer who is full of his subject

The lecturer who is full of his subject is usually very slow in emptying himself. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: An expert is someone who takes something you

An expert is someone who takes something you already know and makes it sound confusing. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: Let those who want to, arriveLet those who

Let those who want to, arrive
Let those who want to, leave
Let those who want to, stay
With out harm to me or mine — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: The disadvantage of becoming wise is that you

The disadvantage of becoming wise is that you realize how foolish you've been. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: If you don't like to make excuses or

If you don't like to make excuses or apologies, stop making promises. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: The modern dance is no dance in the

The modern dance is no dance in the first place, and when you've finally learned it, it's not modern any more. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: A girl never cares who casts the first

A girl never cares who casts the first stone at her
as long as it's a diamond — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: With a braggart, it's no sooner done than

With a braggart, it's no sooner done than said. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: The survival of the fittest is going to

The survival of the fittest is going to make some man very lonesome some day. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: Play: Work that you enjoy doing for nothing.

Play: Work that you enjoy doing for nothing. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: You can always make a loan at a

You can always make a loan at a bank if you can show sufficient evidence that you don't need it. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: A husband is like a fire - he

A husband is like a fire - he goes out when unattended. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: Conscience is what makes a boy tell his

Conscience is what makes a boy tell his mother before his sister does. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: A special skill, like speaking several languages, or

A special skill, like speaking several languages, or keeping your mouth shut in one. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: The most popular form of altruism is giving

The most popular form of altruism is giving to others the advice you cannot use yourself. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: The only time a lazy man ever succeeds

The only time a lazy man ever succeeds is when he tries to do nothing. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: Many a husband lives to regret the extravagant

Many a husband lives to regret the extravagant fee he bestowed upon the minister who sentenced him. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: An actor is a man with an infinite

An actor is a man with an infinite capacity for taking praise. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: You can always tell the golfer who's winning:

You can always tell the golfer who's winning: he's the one who keeps telling his opponent that it's only a game. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: Success is the good fortune that comes from

Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration,and inspiration. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: The only thing worse than being on the

The only thing worse than being on the wrong side of an argument is to be on the right side with no one listening. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: Congress would give the people what they wanted

Congress would give the people what they wanted if the people knew what they wanted, and if Congress could give it to them. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: Character is what you have left when you've

Character is what you have left when you've lost everything you can lose. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: All men are created equal and endowed by

All men are created equal and endowed by their Creator with a mighty urge to become otherwise. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: A wedding is the formality a man has

A wedding is the formality a man has to go through before going to work for a new boss. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: Do a little more every day than you

Do a little more every day than you are expected to do, and soon you will be expected to do more. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: Divorce has become so easy nowadays that women

Divorce has become so easy nowadays that women have stopped crying at weddings. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: Charm is to a woman what perfume is

Charm is to a woman what perfume is to a flower. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: A hamburger by any other name costs twice

A hamburger by any other name costs twice as much. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: Think twice before you speak, and then you

Think twice before you speak, and then you may be able to say something more insulting than if you spoke right out at once. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: You can tell a man's taste in literature

You can tell a man's taste in literature by his judgment in knowing what not to read. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: There is nothing more dignified than a corpse.

There is nothing more dignified than a corpse. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: Eloquence is the art of saying as little

Eloquence is the art of saying as little as possible but making it sound as much as possible. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: Admiration: Our feeling of delight that another person

Admiration: Our feeling of delight that another person resembles us. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: The only thing more certain than the hatred

The only thing more certain than the hatred of enemies is the envy of friends. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: Reactionary: One who wants the rules enforced so

Reactionary: One who wants the rules enforced so nobody can take his pile away from him the way he got it from others. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: To a teenager, it cannot be true love

To a teenager, it cannot be true love if her family approves of him. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: Don't be a hog: the only time a

Don't be a hog: the only time a hog helps the community is when he dies. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: Common sense is usually lack of imagination, and

Common sense is usually lack of imagination, and imagination is usually lack of common sense. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: A man picks a wife about the same

A man picks a wife about the same way an apple picks a farmer. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: You can't judge the ability of a doctor

You can't judge the ability of a doctor by the amount of praise the undertakers give him. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: A dollar saved is a dollar earned but

A dollar saved is a dollar earned but seldom vice versa. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: The saddest thing in life is to marry

The saddest thing in life is to marry a woman who looks like a cook
and isn't. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: Some couples divorce because of a misunderstandin g;

Some couples divorce because of a misunderstandin g; others, because they understand each other too well. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: Many a man works himself to death by

Many a man works himself to death by burying himself in his work. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: Some people would never get any exercise at

Some people would never get any exercise at all if they didn't have to walk to their cars. — Evan Esar

Evan Esar Quotes By Evan Esar: Some men are so eager for success that

Some men are so eager for success that they are even willing to work for it. — Evan Esar