Eddie Izzard Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Eddie Izzard

Eddie Izzard Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Eddie Izzard quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

I can go from blokey to girlie in 15 minutes and then I'm out the door. But that's the fastest I can do it. Becoming a woman takes work. — Eddie Izzard

Drama is a complete meal, vitamins, proteins, carbohydrates. It's a slow burn thing. It's got an arc. Comedy is more like coke. — Eddie Izzard

I wear whatever I want whenever I want. I don't call it drag; I don't even call it cross-dressing. It's just wearing a dress. — Eddie Izzard

I don't know what it's like in the U.S. but immigrants in the U.K. do the jobs the citizens won't do. — Eddie Izzard

I like my coffee hot and strong. Like I like my women: hot and strong ... with a spoon in them. — Eddie Izzard

I'd like to have sex with myself. — Eddie Izzard

Cable cars are fun - everyone gets on board and becomes a rhesus monkey. — Eddie Izzard

We must have been hunters and gatherers but some of us were just waiters and hopers. — Eddie Izzard

I definitely have breast envy. When teenage girls were saying 'I wish I had breasts', I was thinking the same thing. — Eddie Izzard

Comedy is a great weapon of attack. It's not a great weapon of support. — Eddie Izzard

Most people are widely read. I'm thinly read. I've read *** all, and I'm very proud of it. — Eddie Izzard

I've wiped the file? ... I've wiped all the files? ... I've wiped the INTERNET? I don't even have a modem! — Eddie Izzard

They say the Universe started with a big bang. I hope everybody stood well back. — Eddie Izzard

There's two positions in snowboarding. One is looking cool and the other is DEAD! — Eddie Izzard

San Francisco! City of dreaming spires, people live here ... Golden Gate Bridge, ahh the Romans came here. — Eddie Izzard

If I were Achilles I would put my foot in a f**k off block of concrete! — Eddie Izzard

Everyone gets cards at the beginning of life. I am transgender, I decided to be honest and tell everyone about it, and that's it. — Eddie Izzard

There was no religion in my life growing up. Did God invent us or did we invent God? — Eddie Izzard

Never put a sock in a toaster. — Eddie Izzard

And the druids, they were into sex and death in an interesting night-time telly sort of way. — Eddie Izzard

They tend to come out a colour called 'Pants left in wash' — Eddie Izzard

I just believe in the goodwill of people, the power of people to do something positive. — Eddie Izzard

I'm an Action Transvestite — Eddie Izzard

I'm into humanity. I don't believe in God, but I believe in human beings. — Eddie Izzard

When I watched Braveheart I was in tears and I was rooting for the Scottish people — Eddie Izzard

Two languages in one brain? No one can live at that speed! — Eddie Izzard

The National Rifle Association says, 'Guns don't kill people. People do'. But I think the gun helps. — Eddie Izzard

It's not a bloody piano, it's a clarenARt ... you weird talking person. — Eddie Izzard

America is the new Roman Empire. Remember what happened to Rome. — Eddie Izzard

Danger could be my middle name ... But it's John. — Eddie Izzard

Animals in the wild are lean, and I think we should be too. — Eddie Izzard

My Gran said put a thimble on your finger and it helps you in case you slip with the needle and it goes up, into the brain, and death. — Eddie Izzard

You piss me off you Salmon ... You're too expensive in restaurants. — Eddie Izzard

I'm covered in bees! — Eddie Izzard

Cats have a scam going - you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away; that's the deal. — Eddie Izzard

I wanna live 'til I die, no more, no less. — Eddie Izzard

I did bronze survival swimming. I could save people in a bronzey kind of way. — Eddie Izzard

I wanted to be less well-known in comedy. — Eddie Izzard

They're not women's clothes. They're my clothes. I bought them. — Eddie Izzard

If you get too well-known, you can never be a comedian's comedian, it just won't sit well. But I'm fine with that. I'm fine with that label. — Eddie Izzard

All humans can do more than they think they can do. So I think we can all actually be more superhuman than we think we can. — Eddie Izzard

If there were a god, don't you think he would have flicked Hitler's head off? — Eddie Izzard

The Pope is guarded by the Swiss guard who stand proudly in pajamas and silly hats. — Eddie Izzard

Sharks are just evil bastards. I'm quite happy if all the sharks just went, because they eat fish and us. And we need the fish. — Eddie Izzard

Cake and tea or death? — Eddie Izzard

You're gay, you sell books ... you probably shag the books. — Eddie Izzard

What was the first cat that talked a human into putting a cat door in? — Eddie Izzard

I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup. — Eddie Izzard

MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught stealing by the police when I was 15. How ironic. — Eddie Izzard

I'm a dyslexic person, so I avoid books. — Eddie Izzard

Your eyes flashed fire into my soul. I immediately read the words of Dostoyevsky and Karl Marx, and in the words of Albert Schweitzer, I FANCY YOU! — Eddie Izzard

I am an evil Giraffe. — Eddie Izzard

Before birds get sucked into jet engines, do they ever think, Is that Rod Stewart in first class? — Eddie Izzard

Father, bless me for I have sinned, I did an original sin ... I poked a badger with a spoon. — Eddie Izzard

Scrabble was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia. — Eddie Izzard

Because that's what narcissism is all about; looking in the mirror everyday and thinking 'Damn, I'd like to shag myself.' — Eddie Izzard

I try to just talk about human stories and what I think about religion or teapots or whatever. — Eddie Izzard

You know, I don't believe that religions are religions. No, I believe they are philosophies with some good ideas and some fuckin' weird ones. — Eddie Izzard

I am two lesbians in a man's body. — Eddie Izzard

If you've never seen an elephant ski, you've never been on acid. — Eddie Izzard

Honey bees are amazing creatures. I mean, think about it, do earwigs make chutney? — Eddie Izzard

I'm a one-man idiot. — Eddie Izzard

I'm working on a speed boat at the moment. Much more exciting. It'll really kick ass, give great photographs for the people in Bible. — Eddie Izzard

I'm an action transvestite really, so it's running, jumping, climbing trees putting on make-up when you're up there! — Eddie Izzard

"I've done your dog. It's got nine eyes down the side, I made his head all square, 15 legs. What do you think of that?" "Fido looks a bit weird." — Eddie Izzard

I've done a bit of Latin in my time ... but I can control it. — Eddie Izzard

I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from. — Eddie Izzard

This is not a game of Who The Fuck Are You. — Eddie Izzard

Poetry is very similar to music, only less notes and more words. — Eddie Izzard

My wife and I take what we call our Friday comedy day off. We watch standup comics on TV. The raunchier the better. We love Eddie Izzard. — Gene Hackman

If you go down as a comedian's comedian, that's basically meaning other comedians are hopefully feeling that you're doing okay. — Eddie Izzard

We will now sing forth, hymn 405, 'Oh God, what on earth is my hairdo all about? — Eddie Izzard

I don't subscribe to the theory that all politicians are crap. I think the 'cool people' often take that position. — Eddie Izzard

But the Dutch speak four languages and smoke marijuana. — Eddie Izzard

There's not much makeup in the army, is there? No. They only have that nighttime look, and that's a bit slapdash, isn't it? — Eddie Izzard

I love the fact that trying is respected. The American Dream: if you try, if you build it, they will come. I love that. It's honorable. — Eddie Izzard

That's no good, I can't steal from the fairly well off and give to the moderately impoverished! That's not gonna swing, is it? — Eddie Izzard

I knew I couldn't do what Eddie Izzard does, so I just tried to write some stories that were based, or partly based, on my own experiences. — Deirdre O'Kane

Queen Victoria, one of our more frumpy Queen's. They're all frumpy aren't they? Because it's a bad idea when cousin's marry. — Eddie Izzard

I appreciate your applause, but I don't do it for applause. I do it for cash, it's much better. — Eddie Izzard

Cos people think I'm on drugs and I'm not. I'm really quite ... Just a bit of coffee. When I take drugs I start going, Oh, would you like insurance? — Eddie Izzard

Boy bands should be exploded from a great height. They're just pretty people singing music written by others. — Eddie Izzard

Eddie Izzard is absolutely brilliant. I would love to write something for him. — Bruce Vilanch

If you get too well-known in comedy, I do believe it blocks people from taking you in drama. — Eddie Izzard

My stand-up is quite good now, people say. It's just like a big conversation each time. Every gig is a rehearsal. — Eddie Izzard

What have you been reading, The Gospel according to St. Bastard?! — Eddie Izzard

I don't believe that competitions are important. — Eddie Izzard

If you can be your own force of nature and have a positive heart, then you can actually do something good in the world. — Eddie Izzard

If there is a God, his plan is very similar to someone not having a plan. — Eddie Izzard

Religion and philosophy, philosophy and religion - they're two words which are both ... different. In spelling. — Eddie Izzard

You can't land on the moon and say, Ooh, it's all sticky! It's covered in jam! — Eddie Izzard

Learning that you have stamina is an excellent thing to know. If a project fails, I know I can pick myself up. — Eddie Izzard

Have you got a flag? — Eddie Izzard

It's my manifest destiny to wear a skirt in all countries. — Eddie Izzard

I want to live till I die. No more, no less. — Eddie Izzard

Peace, peace, peace. Peace is organized. — Eddie Izzard

If you get anything creative going, then the work and play thing is the same thing, I feel. — Eddie Izzard

I don't believe in God. So I'm a non-believer in the non-visible. I'm a believer in us; in humans. — Eddie Izzard

Some people are widely read. I'm thinly read. — Eddie Izzard

We have two hundred languages in Europe. Two hundred languages! Count them! I know you won't! — Eddie Izzard