Doug Benson Quotes
Collection of top 31 famous quotes about Doug Benson
Doug Benson Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Doug Benson quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
It's easier to do comedy with an audience, because their reactions tell you whether or not what your saying qualifies as comedy.
— Doug Benson
Why would any woman agree to be on a show called Bridezillas? It's not like men would agree to be on Douchegroom.
— Doug Benson
I like to go see a ball game. I'll have seven, eight, nine - 10 beers, and the second inning will roll around, and I gotta go.
— Doug Benson
The thing is girls will always say you're lying when you say you had sex with them when you're lying about having sex with them.
— Doug Benson
Smoking pot makes people talk for long periods of time, for instance, so people who advocate pot won't shut the hell up about it.
— Doug Benson
We don't want any pot-smoking vaginas because that's disgusting. And I saw it once in Indonesia, and I've never been able to get it out of my head.
— Doug Benson
In Seattle, they have a saying: 'If you don't like the weather, wait five minutes and then shoot yourself in the face.'
— Doug Benson
A message to parents who think legalizing weed will make their kids want to try it: they will anyway.
— Doug Benson
Any comedic entertainment is better when you get high.
— Doug Benson
If someone wants to make a joke about me smoking too much pot, I'm not going to get mad at them, because I've put it out there that that's what I do.
— Doug Benson
P. Diddy's gonna be exhausted, you know, running with the Olympic torch in one hand and the torch he'll always carry for J-Lo in the other.
— Doug Benson
You know you drank too much the night before when you wake up with crop circles in your pubes.
— Doug Benson
Big deal ... the only cats that don't have three legs are the ones with two through zero legs.
— Doug Benson
LL Cool J should be the spokesman for a line of pajamas called Ladies Love Cool Jammies.
— Doug Benson
I know there's a lot of nasty humor directed at celebrities, but my feeling is, in most cases, they deserve it.
— Doug Benson
I started doing pot jokes, and I noticed that audiences invariably love pot jokes. Even people who don't smoke pot think it's a funny subject.
— Doug Benson
Stand-up is a very scary, very solitary profession, but you have to experience it to figure out if it's right for you.
— Doug Benson
Willem Dafoe is a shithead.
— Doug Benson