Dog Funny Quotes
Collection of top 84 famous quotes about Dog Funny
Dog Funny Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Dog Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
Dog love is blind. For that matter, dog love is stupid.
— Rob Sheffield
Working for Mab now, are you, Wolfman?" he smirked. "Like a good little attack dog? Will you also roll over and beg if she asks?
— Julie Kagawa
A man bitten by a dog, whether the animal is mad or not, is apt to get mad himself.
— George D. Prentice
As soon as I arrive at the house, Laurie starts running, hits my chest, knocks me down, and licks my face. It's become a family ritual.
— Beverly Sills
I'm gonna hump ya. Like Deputy Dog ... Would hump ya.
— Steve Coogan
What do you say when your friends come to visit and the dog starts humping their leg. Well, if it's a pit bull, you say, "You better let him finish."
— Robert Schimmel
What a dog I got. Last night he went on the paper four times - three while I was reading it.
— Rodney Dangerfield
Dachshund: A half-a-dog high and a dog-and-a-half long.
— H.L. Mencken
It's funny how dogs and cats know the inside of folks better than other folks do, isn't it?
— Eleanor Porter
My sister wanted a cat for a pet ... I wanted a dog, so they bought a cat and taught it to bark.
— Chic Murray
My dog was barking at everyone the other day. Still, what can you expect from a cross-breed.
— Tommy Cooper
A man and his dog is a sacred relationship. What nature hath put together let no woman put asunder.
— A.R. Gurney
My mom took me to a dog show and I won!!
— Rodney Dangerfield
It's funny to me that people find other people getting coffee really interesting, or walking their dog in the dog park.
— Jake Gyllenhaal
I think so. I want a hamburger and a hot dog." I paused. "And ice cream in one of those waffle cones. And - and I want to see the big kitties.
— Jennifer L. Armentrout
They had a ... dog called Bluey. A know psychopath, Bluey would attack himself if nothing else was available.
— Clive James
Thank God for machines. They can make a dog sing!
— Christopher Atkins
Number one way life would be different if dogs ran the world: All motorists must drive with head out window.
— David Letterman
He was a funny old dog. He liked strawberries.
— Margaret Wise Brown
Is it me? Is it like I have a beacon that only dogs and men with severe emotional problems can hear?
— Lisa Kudrow
Love is the emotion that a woman feels always for a poodle dog and sometimes for a man.
— George Jean Nathan
Do you know what happens when you play a country song backwards? You get your wife back, your dog back and your job back.
— Richard Belzer
Dogs act exactly the way we would act if we had no shame.
— Cynthia Heimel
Dogs lead a nice life. You never see a dog with a wristwatch.
— George Carlin
I spilled spot remover on my dog; now he's gone.
— Steven Wright
Guide dogs for the blind. It's cruel really, isn't it? Getting a dog to lead a man round all day. Not fair on either of them.
— Steve Coogan
I always thought that my canine family tended to view me as the funny-looking two-legged dog who runs the can opener.
— Roger Caras
Stevie Wonder always smells so good ... I'm like a DEA dog, I can smell people a block away!
— Gloria Estefan
Dogs who chase cars evidently see them as large, unruly ungulates badly in need of discipline and shepherding.
— Elizabeth Marshall Thomas
Dogs are a habit, I think.
— Elizabeth Bowen
maybe somebody finally shot the dog.
— Dave Barry
The ideal age for a boy to own a dog is between forty-five and fifty.
— Robert Benchley
I got a dog and named him 'Stay'. Now, I go 'Come here, Stay!' After a while, the dog went insane and wouldn't move at all.
— Steven Wright
Winning is everything. The only ones who remember you when you come second are your wife and your dog.
— Damon Hill
The more I see of man, the more I like dogs.
— Madame De Stael
Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend.
— Corey Ford
Guys are like dogs. They keep comin' back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time, they're gone.
— Lenny Bruce
He is so shaggy. People are amazed when he gets up and they suddenly realize they have been talking to the wrong end.
— Elizabeth Jones
Not Carnegie, Vanderbilt, and Astor together could have raised money enough to buy a quarter share in my little dogs.
— Ernest Thompson Seton
What a goon, except it really is funny, me trying to sneeze a hot dog through my nose, and we're both laughing like total morons.
— Rodman Philbrick
It's like this, dear boy, the one in front is blind and the kind one behind is pushing him.
— Noel Coward
It would be the last thing he did if he beat my dog.
— Holly Hood
Keep running after a dog and he will never bite you.
— Francois Rabelais
Sometimes I feel like a fire hydrant looking at a pack of dogs.
— William J. Clinton
The dog is dressed just like me at the climax of my act.
— Gypsy Rose Lee
My Scottie refused to go for a walk with a friend of the house, but she would joyously accompany any stranger who drove a car.
— Mazo De La Roche
How come dog and dog owner are so alike?
— Hiroko Sakai
Are you a female dog?""What?" Massie asked. "Why?"
"Because you are acting like a real bitch! — Lisi Harrison
You set fire to my house, killed my family, and ate my dog. But steal my boyfriend? That's a step too far.
— Libba Bray
When there is an old maid in the house, a watchdog is unnecessary.
— Honore De Balzac
Right. Because if you have trouble putting ketchup and mustard on a hot dog, you should totally move on to saving lives.
— Huntley Fitzpatrick
Miguel: Merle? What kind of hick name is that? I wouldn't name my dog Merle.
— The Walking Dead
I'm a dog lover and sex addict. Those two things are unrelated.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
They have dog food for constipated dogs. If your dog is constipated, why screw up a good thing? Stay indoors and let 'em bloat!
— David Letterman
That's the only dog I know who can smell someone just thinking about food.
— Charles M. Schulz
Every time I go near the stove, the dog howls.
— Phyllis Diller
No man is the boss of his own house, but he can make up for it, he thinks, by making a dog play dead.
— W.C. Fields
It sometimes takes days, even weeks, before a dog's nerves tire. In the case of terriers it can run into months.
— E.B. White
He is my dog, Toto," answered Dorothy."Is he made of tin, or stuffed?" asked the Lion.
"Neither. He's a
a
a meat dog," said the girl. — L. Frank Baum
I just bought a Chihuahua. It's the dog for lazy people. You don't have to walk it. Just hold it out the window and squeeze.
— Anthony Ward Clark
Happiness to a dog is what lies on the other side of the door.
— Charlton Ogburn
I have caught more ills from people sneezing over me and giving me virus infections than from kissing dogs.
— Barbara Woodhouse
My little dog, he did not get ill. It is so funny that people get ill on a boat and dogs do not.
— Anna Held
A dog desires affection more than its dinner. Well - almost.
— Charlotte Gray
My dog of 17 years just died. Oh you're kidding? ... Noooo ... as funny as that is, I'm not
— Ellen DeGeneres
I won't say that you're pretty because that dog already did. And I won't say you're funny because you have had me laughing since I met you.
— Melissa Landers
You'll never call him Fifi again.
— Lynda Barry
