David Spade Quotes: top 59 famous quotes about David Spade

David Spade Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational David Spade quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

My fellow nerds and I will retire to the nerdery with our calculators. — David Spade

I have two skateboards, but I don't get to use them much. I have a snowboard, which I've never used. — David Spade

There are too many fawning entertainment shows out there and not one of them is making fun of it all. — David Spade

Whenever you get on the plane, the flight attendant will always tell you the name of your pilot. Like anyone goes, Oh, he's good. — David Spade

I never dated much in high school or college. — David Spade

It wasn't a cutdown to call someone a Mexican. It would kill my career to refer to someone as Mexican today. It's like calling me an American. — David Spade

Bill Murray I always liked. I'm not as good as him, but there's a quality in him that I like. And then there's DeNiro, I'll never be that. — David Spade

My school of thought is, anything goes, but I can't do that anymore. — David Spade

I'm a gentleman and I was always taught it's rude, to talk about a woman's age or weight unless you are breaking up with her. — David Spade

I've got to get on myself to be sharp, funny and loose. — David Spade

I've had it where things didn't go well for me with movies or something that got canceled. — David Spade

I've been with a beautiful girl from time to time. — David Spade

I just don't like to go out and deal with the real world. It's scary. — David Spade

Everyone is so weird in L.A. that if you're somewhat normal, it's exotic. — David Spade

Sometimes when I watch a TV season, your favorite shows die quickly. And then sometimes it's not your favorite, and they live on for 12 years. — David Spade

You can either look at things in a brutal, truthful way that's depressing, or you can screw around and have fun. — David Spade

If I try to cover too much ground, you start to get watered down and less interesting. — David Spade

When I started I'd fly across the country to do a gig for a hundred bucks. — David Spade

Most of the shows I want to do I'm not smart enough to figure out how to watch. — David Spade

It's funny because it's funny. — David Spade

Now that I have the opportunities to do a lot, I want to do less. — David Spade

It's so crazy in Hollywood. — David Spade

You know the drill. 18 is legal. 17 with consent. 16 with a note. 15 if her dad's in the room. Low five! — David Spade

I wish I had that carefree lifestyle. But I guess I'm more private, and more inside. — David Spade

To be famous and broke is hard. — David Spade

With Saturday Night Live you're looking for any hook, any way to stay on the show. — David Spade

Don't make your kids look hot and dirty and sexy when they're 5-years old! It's really not the place or the time. You're about 11 years early. — David Spade

To make money I picked up work as a busboy, valet parker, skateboard shop employee. — David Spade

I have no detectable hair style. — David Spade

I have no stories to sell. A lot of my relationships are with civilians, and no one wants to hear about those. — David Spade

You know, you want to pull in a wide audience. — David Spade

I only have one note, let's be honest. But I'll play a different version of that one note. — David Spade

I got into stand-up to get on a sitcom. — David Spade

People come and go around you, but you're never the one getting the big stuff. I like that. — David Spade

No one wants to know I set my alarm and get up 8, but I think it's too weird to sleep in too late. — David Spade

Hopefully, underlying all my jokes is an element of surprise. — David Spade

My older brother was cool, so I was suddenly cool by association. And I totally dusted all my old math friends. — David Spade

On Sundays, I lay low, sulk a lot, and try to get my head together for next week. — David Spade

I started doing the star turn and making a profit off it. Now I'm kind of one of them. — David Spade

I don't like throwing myself in a place that's going to rock my world. — David Spade

As boys get older, they can't let on that it's cool to meet me. — David Spade

When my stepfather died, I just kind of fell apart. I felt pretty vulnerable, like there literally could be no tomorrow. — David Spade

The last girl I went out with blew me off. Now I call her with lame excuses to see her, "Hey, did I leave a penny over there?" — David Spade

I feel like I've got this anti-marriage thing, but it's less that and more I'm overthinking it to get it right. — David Spade

Nobody wants to read about your life. Who cares? — David Spade

There are a couple hard things. One, getting a funny idea that people can relate to; a funny idea or a funny script; there's a million pitches. — David Spade

When I'm interviewed on Leno, just be funny, period. That's all they want from me. I don't want to tell my life story. — David Spade

My career is just kind of crazy. — David Spade

In grade school I was smart, but I didn't have any friends. In high school, I quit being smart and started having friends. — David Spade

I changed my act because I wasn't getting booked. — David Spade

I'm like a Dilbert cartoon. — David Spade

Horrible date all through high school and college. Here's an impression of me on a date in high school. Come on, chug it! — David Spade

How do you lay low but still do your job? Try to stay out there without being out there like Jenny McCarthy? — David Spade

It's great to tell people you have your own show, but that's where the fun stops. — David Spade

There's always something funny about men chasing women. — David Spade

I never have kids in movies or in TV shows. — David Spade

It's hard to have a career. — David Spade

It's good to do stand-up. It kind of wakes you up and makes you feel like you're doing something. You got the crowd right there. That's all fun. — David Spade

Ruddy hell, the cold smacked my face with an iron spade! Now I knew why northerners go in for beards, woad, and body grease. — David Mitchell