Darynda Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about Darynda
Darynda Quotes & Sayings
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You can't fix stupid, but you can numb it was a 2 by 4.
T-SHIRT — Darynda Jones
T-SHIRT — Darynda Jones
WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU GET SCARED HALF TO DEATH, TWICE? - T-SHIRT
— Darynda Jones
I do not," I felt oddly appalled by her statement. "I'm an excellent liar. Ask my dentist. He swears I floss regularly.
— Darynda Jones
He turned the corner and flipped me off at the same time. See? Men could multitask. I was so proud of him.
— Darynda Jones
She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. - E. CORONA Two
— Darynda Jones
One thing I'd learned growing up: People were never, ever, ever 100 percent honest about their feelings.
Never. — Darynda Jones
Never. — Darynda Jones
Whatever makes your balloon red, Swopes.
— Darynda Jones
The police never find it as funny as you do.-T-Shirt
— Darynda Jones
If you must eat a banana in public, never make eye contact.
— Darynda Jones
You totally need to watch the news."
"Can't."
"Why?"
"It's too depressing."
"Right, because hanging with dead people isn't. — Darynda Jones
"Can't."
"Why?"
"It's too depressing."
"Right, because hanging with dead people isn't. — Darynda Jones
There was nothing like a trip to the gynecologist to make one feel just a little violated.
Charley — Darynda Jones
Charley — Darynda Jones
Just to believe in yourself. Respect yourself and who you are and don't ever let anyone change that.
— Darynda Jones
I have depth. I've read Proust. No, wait, that was Pooh. Winnie the Pooh. My bad
Charley Davidson. — Darynda Jones
Charley Davidson. — Darynda Jones
I guess it's a good thing you can have a relationship with a departed," he said. "Why's that?" "We can still see each other after I die.
— Darynda Jones
I can hear other things, too. Before you came around, I had no idea a man could make a girl scream like that. Reyes seems very talented.
— Darynda Jones
IRONY: THE OPPOSITE OF WRINKLY. - T-SHIRT
— Darynda Jones
I was like a small but devastating plague upon humanity.
— Darynda Jones
LIKE THE SUICIDAL RACCOON, I, TOO, WILL FUCK UP YOUR ALIGNMENT IF YOU RUN ME OVER. - T-shirt
— Darynda Jones
You need to listen to what Mom has to say." "No, I don't." "She deserves that much, Charley.
— Darynda Jones
Rey'azikeen."
He'd offered me one last glance and winked a microsecond before he was gone. — Darynda Jones
He'd offered me one last glance and winked a microsecond before he was gone. — Darynda Jones
Gemma," I said, adding a singsong whine to my voice, "now I can't scare her. You can't go around telling people about me.
— Darynda Jones
Restraint: not just for sex anymore.
— Darynda Jones
Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself. (T-Shirt)
— Darynda Jones
This place is like crazy on crackers.
— Darynda Jones
Paperbacks make the world go round. Okay, maybe only my world. Either way paperbacks rock!
— Darynda Jones
I have a perfect body, it's in my trunk.
T-shirt — Darynda Jones
T-shirt — Darynda Jones
jealousy was in a whole category by itself. One that sat right between instability and insecurity.
— Darynda Jones
I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. - T-SHIRT
— Darynda Jones
NEVER BE AFRAID TO DART AROUND IN PUBLIC, HUMMING THE MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE THEME SONG.
— Darynda Jones
Remember, it's all fun and games until somebody loses an eyeball, and then it's, "Hey! free eyeball!" - T-SHIRT
— Darynda Jones
It isn't the fall that will kill you, but the sudden stop.
— Darynda Jones
Don't judge me because I'm quiet.
No one plans a murder out loud. — Darynda Jones
No one plans a murder out loud. — Darynda Jones
Whichever you choose, you're the one who has to deal with the consequences. So make your decision wisely,
— Darynda Jones
After a geological epoch passed in which single-celled organisms evolved into talk show hosts, Mr. Coffee was still holding out on me.
— Darynda Jones
That took balls."
"Please," I said with a snort, "that took ovaries. Of which I have two. — Darynda Jones
"Please," I said with a snort, "that took ovaries. Of which I have two. — Darynda Jones
APPLICANTS MUST PASS AN ORAL EXAM BEFORE ADVANCING TO THE NEXT COURSE. - NOVELTY UNDERWEAR
— Darynda Jones
Man, that woman was quick when she wanted to be. But put her behind the wheel of a Buick ...
— Darynda Jones
Aw. She thought I was fruity. I got that a lot.
— Darynda Jones
Help someone when they're in trouble, and they'll remember you when they're in trouble again. - FORTUNE COOKIE
— Darynda Jones
Since killing people is illegal, can I have a Taser just for shits and giggles? -Fourth Grave Beneath My Feet
— Darynda Jones
If he didn't hate me so much and he wasn't an evil supernatural being, I'd be on him like black on Cookie's toast.
That woman could not make toast. — Darynda Jones
That woman could not make toast. — Darynda Jones
I know karate, and like two other Japanese words - T-SHIRT
— Darynda Jones
Winching was apparently a guy thing. As was wenching.
— Darynda Jones
We really should get some X-rays," the EMT said.
"You just want to fondle my extraneous body parts," I said to the EMT. — Darynda Jones
"You just want to fondle my extraneous body parts," I said to the EMT. — Darynda Jones
One day, I'm going to get to the bottom of you, Charley Davidson."
I had no idea she was into anal. — Darynda Jones
I had no idea she was into anal. — Darynda Jones
He was angry with me once again. Men and their mood swings. Women had nothing on them.
— Darynda Jones
You were the one who hit me on the roof?
I hit you on the jaw. We just happened to be on a roof at the time. — Darynda Jones
I hit you on the jaw. We just happened to be on a roof at the time. — Darynda Jones
And just how, exactly, do you feed off the souls of humans? Is it like a vitamin-deficiency thing?
— Darynda Jones
Justice may be blind, but she was an awesome elixir.
— Darynda Jones
She said her mother has a strap-on named Event Horizon.
— Darynda Jones
Four out of three people are bad at math.
— Darynda Jones
Thor's Morning Wood
— Darynda Jones
Read. Write. Read some more. Explore the universe through your writing. Practice and learn what moves you and what doesn't.
— Darynda Jones
His presence made the air crackle with electricity, mostly because of all the spontaneous ovulating going on when he walked in.
— Darynda Jones
Is a frog's ass watertight?
— Darynda Jones
The fact that there's a Highway to Hell and only a Stairway to Heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers. -
— Darynda Jones
The past is a blur, like fog only blurrier.
— Darynda Jones
Tequila often gave people the desire to tackle the impossible. It did not, however, make impossible possible
— Darynda Jones
Damn it. Reyes could be such a butthead. Freaking Antichrists.
— Darynda Jones
Deaf people talk with their mouths full.
— Darynda Jones
It was one thing to die. It was another to lose one's soul. To come to a complete end. To exist no longer.
— Darynda Jones
Showers were God's reward for working hard enough to get dirty.
— Darynda Jones
In three hundred feet, turn right, Darth Vader said. The Darth Vader. I felt like we were friends now. Like I could tell him anything.
— Darynda Jones
Reyes and I sat arm in arm in the back of the rented SUV. He seemed relieved. Happy.
— Darynda Jones
Who on planet Earth didn't have aspirin in the house?
— Darynda Jones
SARC- was my second favorite -ASM word
— Darynda Jones
If I'm upset, hold me and tell me how beautiful I am.
If I growl, retreat to a safe distance and throw chocolate.
- BEST. ADVICE. EVER. — Darynda Jones
If I growl, retreat to a safe distance and throw chocolate.
- BEST. ADVICE. EVER. — Darynda Jones
Pretending to drink coffee was similar to faking an orgasm.
— Darynda Jones
I strode toward Mr. Coffee with lust in my eyes. We'd had a thing for quite some time now Mr. Coffee and I ...
— Darynda Jones
He wants my head on a platter." "You just make friends wherever you go, don't you?" "It's weird, right?
— Darynda Jones
Because I don't deserve your touch.
— Darynda Jones
If you can master the opening, you will be leaps and bounds ahead of the competition.
— Darynda Jones
We are all tainted by the decisions we make." "And the taste of our souls reflects that?" "It does.
— Darynda Jones
As it stood, I was having to do way more legwork than I'd planned when I decided on these boots.
— Darynda Jones
I suck at all this supernatural stuff. But I fry a mean chicken.
Oh, good. I hate it when the nice ones get fried. — Darynda Jones
Oh, good. I hate it when the nice ones get fried. — Darynda Jones
That made sense. Not many couples lasted after losing a child.
— Darynda Jones
I could hardly be responsible for my actions when everyone around me gave me every opportunity to sink to their low expectations.
— Darynda Jones
Try writing an entire story with only a thousand words at your disposal. It's a terrific lesson in economy and precession.
— Darynda Jones
Sometimes that light at the end of the tunnel is a train.
— Darynda Jones