Claus Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Claus

Claus Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Claus quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

You can't fool me. There ain't no Sanity Claus! — George S. Kaufman

In the years since his murder, we have transformed King into a kind of innocuous black Santa Claus. — Timothy B. Tyson

There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus. — Bob Phillips

You can't trick The Universe - it's like Santa Claus that way. — Tracy McMillan

It had been like discovering that Santa Claus was secretly a Nazi. — Brandon Sanderson

My mum was cross with Milo for teasing me. He kept telling me Santa Claus was real. — Brittany Cavallaro

Santa Claus is a lie but if you think that's bad, check out what 'fuck' really means. — Andrew Smith

Santa Claus and all his little presents tend to get in the way of God's message."
"As can religion," Santa replied. — Brom

Nonsense, this is my home and I must defend it. It's time for Santa to get serious. — Michael Diack

I was once part of a Christmas cabaret. I sang 'I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.' I tap-danced. I had a ten-gallon hat. It was quite absurd. — Peter Dinklage

Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, he must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that he's smoking? — Arlo Guthrie

The only thing wrong with the U.S. economy is the failure of the Republican Party to play Santa Claus, — Jude Wanniski

This I've learned in life: If you don't believe in Santa Claus, he can't bring you any presents. — Siri Mitchell

The real Santa Claus is at the mall. — Lemony Snicket

Reading is one of the best ways to bond with your child. Bond this Christmas with "It's Not About You, Mr. Santa Claus — Soraya Diase Coffelt

I try not to repeat myself too often, but it's a gamble. 'Fred Claus' had three Oscar winners in it. No business - it was a bad movie. — Elizabeth Banks

For every little kid who still believes in Santa Claus, there is at least one adult who still believes in professional wrestling. — Doug Larson

A man of fifty looks as old as Santa Claus to a girl of twenty. — William Feather

For the most part, people use God as Santa Claus. — Rickie Lee Jones

I have always tried to use humor to "help ever" and "hurt never," for I find that to laugh is like swallowing a secret that Santa Claus farted. — David Cross

Grown ups don't believe in Santa Claus. They vote. — Pierre Desproges

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. — George Carlin

I put on weight like Santa Claus. I just get this belly that kind of extends out. — Christian Bale

I see Santa Claus and Joseph Smith and Luke Skywalker as the same person. — Trey Parker

The Santa Claus principle liquidates itself. — Ludwig Von Mises

A born terror, a rebel without a pause ...
Ain't never had a good Christmas, so who is Santa Claus? — Shyheim

Being a superpower is like being a Santa Claus that everyone hates. — Jon Stewart

I'm Santa Claus to these hoes without a reindeer. — Nicki Minaj

Ty's grin died and he muttered, "Fuck , what I do not need is another fuckin' problem." "Well, now you're makin' me feel like Santa Claus. — Kristen Ashley

Education costs money. But then so does ignorance. — Claus Moser, Baron Moser

In spring they lie flat at the first warmth, they ruin my summer and in autumn they smell of women. — Hugo Claus

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. — Shirley Temple Black

Mr. Claus
c/o North Pole

Dear Joe... — Charles M. Schulz

If Mitt Romney was Santa Claus, he would fire the reindeer and outsource the elves. — Ted Strickland

Well when I was a kid, I asked Santa Claus for some toys. Santa Claus wrote me a letter that he lost his bag. He said he'd get back to me next year. — Benicio Del Toro

I don't really miss God but I sure miss Santa Claus! — Courtney Love

I use to believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and Tom Cruise too. — Barbara Bretton

If SANTA CLAUS came down the chimney in a f**king jogging suit, you wouldn't even know it was him. — Wayne Coyne

MURRY: I believe in a lot of things. Santa Claus, magic, vampires, and even ghosts but I don't believe in luck. Good or bad. — Hillary DePiano

Dear Santa Claus, just a last note before you take off. I hope you have a nice trip. Don't forget to fasten your seat belt. — Charles M. Schulz

After you stop believing in santa claus, the whole world just goes downhill — Tom Clancy

there's no such thing as a fuck cure. a fuck cure is like the adult version of santa claus — David Levithan

I believed in Santa Claus until I was 12! — Danielle De Niese

When I was a kid, I believed in Santa Claus. But it was very tough because in the Dominican ... there are not a lot of rich people there. — Alfonso Soriano

Sonny Von Bulow, who said to her husband Claus on their honeymoon, Stop needling me. Never got a dinner! — Red Buttons

Jesus is Santa Claus for Adults — Christopher Hitchens

A good many things go around in the dark besides Santa Claus. — Herbert Hoover

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist. — Francis Pharcellus Church

Be sure to lie to your kids about the benevolent, all-seeing Santa Claus. It will prepare them for an adulthood of believing in God. — Scott Dikkers

Please be informed, there is a Santa Claus. — Jim Lovell

I was Santa Claus in first year of primary school, our elementary's school play, because I had most panache, that was probably why. I was 5. — James Frecheville

We took this challenge before our Lord and our conscience, and it must be done, because this man, Hitler, he is the ultimate evil. — Claus Von Stauffenberg

What is red, white and black all over and says "Ho! Ho!"? Santa Claus after he has came down the chimney. — Beverly Adams

This Christmas, every Christmas, Santa Claus is everywhere and Jesus is nowhere to be found. — Paul Park

Who the hell wants to be the one to tell a kid that santa claus isn't real. it's the truth, right? but you're still a jerk for saying it. — David Levithan

Democracy is only a dream: it should be put in the same category as Arcadia, Santa Claus, and Heaven. — H.L. Mencken

Those who truly believe are always rewarded with the truth. — Santa Claus

In a country of children where the option is Santa Claus or work, what wins? — Rush Limbaugh

It's easy to look like Santa Claus when you don't have to buy the groceries. — Claire Cook

He would be billed, in short, as being something like Jesus Christ, Albert Einstein, Alexander the Great, and Santa Claus all rolled into one. Not — James Friend

Prayer is not adult letters written to Santa Claus, and God is not some parent-like figure up in the sky who's going to take care of us. — John Shelby Spong

So Santa Claus is bogus but Grim Reapers are the genuine article. What does that say about the world? — Mindee Arnett

Look, at some point, people have to tell their kids that Santa Claus isn't real. I hate to be the guy to do it, but it's just not real. — Floyd Landis

Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide. — Milton Berle

Holy Santa Claus shit, Nic! — Kathryn Perez

God is Santa Claus for Grown-Ups. — Oliver Markus

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! — Francis Pharcellus Church

Like Santa Claus. You adults pretend he doesn't exist, but we know that he really does. — Orson Scott Card

The title of that great Christmas song was 'Boogie Woogie Santa Claus,' and no one ever heard of it. — Patti Page

Santa Claus is just a story," says Seth. "He's just the opening band to God. There is no Santa Claus. — Chuck Palahniuk

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark. — Dick Gregory

All the world is happy when Santa Claus comes. — Maud Lindsay

I was probably nine or ten the first time I heard there was no Santa Claus. — Joe Nichols

Like everyone in his right mind, I feared Santa Claus. — Annie Dillard

Our family was too strange and weird for even Santa Claus to come visit ... Santa, who was jolly - but, let's face it, he was also very judgmental. — Julia Sweeney

The greatest thing is not to believe in Santa Claus; it is to be Santa Claus. — Pat Boone

I felt like a kid at Santa Claus's funeral. — David Gerrold

Besides, the mhis that surrounded the compound could scramble anything from GPS to Santa Claus. — J.R. Ward

God put Santa Claus on earth to remind us that Christmas is 'sposed to be a happy time. — Bil Keane

The three phases of Santa belief:
(1) Santa is real.
(2) Santa isn't real.
(3) Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. — Alton Thompson

But my absolute favorite was when you said I was the Santa Claus Magic Mike, and I could bring my presents down your chimney all year round." I — Tijan

Yes Virginia, There is a Santa Claus. — Francis Pharcellus Church

Here comes Santa Claus! Here comes Santa Claus! Right down Santa Claus Lane! — Gene Autry

One of the things I had a hard time getting used to when I came to California in '78 was Santa Claus in shorts. — Dennis Franz

Not everyone who sells Christmas trees believes in Santa Claus. — Matt Barr

I'd like to know if you're also responsible for Santa Claus, New York in the autumn, and the production and timely distribution of rainbows. — Christopher Grey

Christmas always sucked when I was a kid because I believed in Santa Claus. Unfortunately, so did my parents. So I never got anything. — Charlie Viracola

I thought you were all-seeing."
All-knowing, not all-seeing!" he snapped. "I'm a God, not Santa Claus! — Kelley Armstrong

Death is the Santa Claus of the adult world. Except Santa Claus in reverse. The guy who takes all the presents away. — Maria Dahvana Headley

More than Santa Claus, your sister knows when you've been bad and good. — Linda Sunshine

I'm the only one who still believes in Santa Claus! — Edith Piaf

You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap. — Jeff Foxworthy

Tilli stroked her Chihuahua. Max's heart made a sound like the sleigh bells on Mrs. Santa Claus's dildo. — Tom Robbins

With big folks, either people think you look mean or it's more of a jolly Santa Claus, 'Oh, he's just a pudgy little teddy bear pillow.' — The Notorious B.I.G.

An entire gullible nation believed faithfully in Santa Claus. But Santa Claus was really the Gasman. — Gunter Grass

Everyone thinks of God as a man - you can't help it - Santa Claus was a man, therefore God has to be a man. — Patti Smith

Who is not a love seeker when December comes? Even children pray to Santa Claus. — Rod McKuen

Grandmother's knee is a wonderful place to learn about the Bible, ghosts, and even Santa Claus, but a mighty poor place to learn about history. — L.B. Taylor Jr.

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. — Steven Wright

God is a Republican, and Santa Claus is a Democrat. — H.L. Mencken