Church Humor Quotes: top 34 famous quotes about Church Humor

Church Humor Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Church Humor quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Clea and I were touring one of the cathedrals in Italy, and in front of the whole tour I go 'That's so cute! Look, they have birdbaths in the church! — Hilary Duff

I suppose he'll just have to do," she amended. "You'll have to suffer in silence with your male model ... I feel for you."
"Oh, stop it, Molly. — Alexandra Adornetto

Sometimes we can focus so much on nothing that we make it a big something of nothing — Ricky Maye

I had explained that a woman's asking for equality in the church would be comparable to a black person's demanding equality in the Ku Klux Klan — Mary Daly

The TV shouted an old black-and-white film he didn't recognize, wheelchairs facing it like church pews. — Sere Prince Halverson

Bursting into flame would definitely blow my cover. — Rob Thomas

I'm married, honey. My social life consists of work, church, taxiing the kids around and trying to schedule sex with my husband at least once a month. — Marilyn Pappano

If opposites attract why is the church trying so hard to mirror the world? — Lakesha Ruise

First Church of the Unleaded God & Ace High Refinery
WELCOME
KEEP OUT — Neal Barrett Jr.

Y'know, if those pews reclined, and the priests gave the Raiders scores I'd go to church every Sunday. — George Lopez

Elders of the Creedish church made celibacy sound as easy as choosing not to play basketball.
Just say no. — Chuck Palahniuk

Your church is a baby-house made of blocks. — Henry David Thoreau

He'd gone to church for forty years and was only getting worse. It seemed like this should tell God something. — Sue Monk Kidd

Yes, his ear. I was attracted to his ear. While I was in church. I'm pretty sure that solidifies my position as the weirdest person on the planet. — Amanda Hamm

By the time we get to church, I need church cuz I've been yelled at by everyone in the family. — Jeff Foxworthy

I like this interstate as much as the next guy, but the farther south we go, the hotter it gets, and I'm already sweating like a whore in church. — John Green

I never joined, but I used to go to church now and then. I liked it, because they always passed out plates of money at the end. — A. Whitney Brown

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile. — Billy Sunday

You feel bad about yelling in a graveyard after you just tried to have sex with me in a church? — Liliana Hart

Talk Back? That's really what it's called? You're supposed to walk into some church basement and say, 'I'm here to learn how to Talk Back'? — Catherine Gilbert Murdock

Something about being rejected at Church Camp felt so much more awful than being rejected at school. — Craig Thompson

My secret is cool and mysterious like a jagged scar across my chest, and not dull and heavy like I gave up church buy not the angst. — J.C. Lillis

It's not like the Middle Ages, when you had the Church and the aristocracy keeping everything nice and stagnant. — Kevin Hearne

The Church being what she is cannot have the instincts of a gentleman. — George Everett Macdonald

Anyone without a sense of humor is too pretentious to be a good magician. — Anton Szandor LaVey

I describe myself as a member of the Church of England, which I suppose is an inoffensive way of saying that you don't believe in anything very much — William Somerset Maugham

Sit back and enjoy. And remember: Always be careful what you say around your kids. — Donna Chapman Gilbert

Cut me off from the Church? They can't do that! I repent do damn fast! — J. Golden Kimball

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. — Garrison Keillor

My sister having so much to do, was going to church vicariously, that is to say, Joe and I were going. — Charles Dickens

It felt exactly like someone had hit me in the head with a church. — Patrick Rothfuss

I believe in eight of the ten commandments. I believe in going to church every Sunday ... unless there's a game on. — Steve Martin

First Church of the Unleaded God & Ace High Refinery
WELCOME
KEEP OUT — Neal Barrett Jr.

Going to church is not a sign of going to God, if you think he is omnipresent, he is right there in your soul and bedroom. — Michael Bassey Johnson