Christmas Santa Quotes: top 50 famous quotes about Christmas Santa

Christmas Santa Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Christmas Santa quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Everyone wants a Christmas tree. If you had a Christmas tree Santa would bring you stuff! Like hair curlers and slut shoes. — Janet Evanovich

There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus. — Bob Phillips

What kind of Christmas present would Jesus ask Santa for? — Salman Rushdie

The door opens with a rusted jingle, and an animatronic Santa insults my moral virtue three times. Ho, ho, ho. — Kiersten White

I was once part of a Christmas cabaret. I sang 'I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.' I tap-danced. I had a ten-gallon hat. It was quite absurd. — Peter Dinklage

Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, he must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that he's smoking? — Arlo Guthrie

The real Santa Claus is at the mall. — Lemony Snicket

She stared at the castle. She had actually been summoned to a castle. A week before Christmas. — Fern Michaels

Reading is one of the best ways to bond with your child. Bond this Christmas with "It's Not About You, Mr. Santa Claus — Soraya Diase Coffelt

She felt like a woman on fire. Would it be bad to have sex with Santa in the closet? — Kathleen Brooks

Small unexpected acts of kindness are the building blocks of greatness. Start your day with a smile and see where it takes you ... — Edwin Lionel Flynn

What's going on here?" Miles demanded, pushing his way past the last of the stampeding throng. "And why is Santa worshiping that elf? — Laura Resnick

It's like getting the best Christmas gift ever, but Santa decided to kick the crap out of you before you unwrapped it. — Adrienne Martini

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. — George Carlin

Let's be naughty and save Santa the trip. — Gary Allan

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist. — Francis Pharcellus Church

This Christmas, every Christmas, Santa Claus is everywhere and Jesus is nowhere to be found. — Paul Park

Everyone is destined to be an asshole as some point or another. — Will Bly

Those who truly believe are always rewarded with the truth. — Santa Claus

We can _start_ making Christmas and Santa can finish up. — Toni Buzzeo

It's better to ask Santa Claus for a pair of slippers for Christmas rather than peace on earth. You might actually get it. — Terry Pratchett

A born terror, a rebel without a pause ...
Ain't never had a good Christmas, so who is Santa Claus? — Shyheim

At Christmas time I sat on Santa's lap. His fly was open ! Boy what a present he gave me ! — Rodney Dangerfield

Like kids who only ever get socks for Christmas, but still believe with all their hearts in Santa. — Barbara Kingsolver

The Keys To Happiness
1.Finishing the Grave Digger's Handbook.
2.Escaping the ire of Santa Maria.
3.Recieving two books for Christmas. — Markus Zusak

No sane local official who has hung up an empty stocking over the municipal fireplace, is going to shoot Santa Claus just before a hard Christmas. — Al Smith

You know what? From now on, I think I'm going to call you Mister Christmas. — Fern Michaels

Santa is having a tough time this year. Last year he deducted eight billion for gifts, and the IRS wants an itemized list — Milton Berle

Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. — Matt Groening

How about that one?"
"That fat thing?"
"Amber, it is a Christmas tree. It is supposed to be fat and jolly looking, like Santa Clause. — Sarah Holman

God put Santa Claus on earth to remind us that Christmas is 'sposed to be a happy time. — Bil Keane

The greatest thing is not to believe in Santa Claus; it is to be Santa Claus. — Pat Boone

Like everyone in his right mind, I feared Santa Claus. — Annie Dillard

Maybe he was the anti-Santa, of the South Pole, and he was going to show them where the elves made lumps of coal for Anti-Christmas. — Lev Grossman

Jeez! I thought you said you were just gonna set up the tree? It looks like Santa shit Christmas in here! — Toni Aleo

I'm so glad I put a hot, naked guy on my Christmas wish list. I just didn't think Santa would actually deliver one. — Patricia W. Fischer

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! — Francis Pharcellus Church

God is Santa Claus for Grown-Ups. — Oliver Markus

Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide. — Milton Berle

Missing a nose. With these children Santa has to be careful not to ask, And what would you like for Christmas? — David Sedaris

Santa knows Physics: Of all colors, Red Light penetrates fog best. That's why Benny the Blue-nosed reindeer never got the gig. — Neil DeGrasse Tyson

The title of that great Christmas song was 'Boogie Woogie Santa Claus,' and no one ever heard of it. — Patti Page

Mom says you have to believe in Santa if you want presents on Christmas. — C.K. Walker

The three phases of Santa belief:
(1) Santa is real.
(2) Santa isn't real.
(3) Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. — Alton Thompson

Christmas always sucked when I was a kid because I believed in Santa Claus. Unfortunately, so did my parents. So I never got anything. — Charlie Viracola

Not everyone who sells Christmas trees believes in Santa Claus. — Matt Barr

The day I saw my mom eating the Santa cookies on the plate was one of the most horrific days of my life. — Halle Berry

Here comes Santa Claus! Here comes Santa Claus! Right down Santa Claus Lane! — Gene Autry

It's like pretending to be Santa and then stabbing someone with a candy cane! — Ellery Adams

Yes Virginia, There is a Santa Claus. — Francis Pharcellus Church