Children S Humor Quotes: top 60 famous quotes about Children S Humor

Children S Humor Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Children S Humor quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Canada is a myth people made up to entertain children, like the Tooth Fairy. There's no such place. — Christopher Moore

We call them grunters. They're ghost hunters but grunters is more appropriate because most of them are pigs. — Wendy Milton

CUSTOMER: Do you have this children's book I've heard about? It's supposed to be very good. It's called Lionel Richie and the Wardrobe. — Jen Campbell

We have to actually choose a name," Kane murmured above her head. "We can't keep calling him 'baby.' When he's fifteen he might resent it. — Christine Feehan

I wonder if a fish's
One and only wish is
That other fish will never say,
This fish is sure delicious! — Brian Rock

You can think about gloves. You can think about snuvs. You can think a long time about snuvs and their gloves. — Dr. Seuss

Calico Kitty

My calico kitty
was painted and primed
she could prowl
the night away ~
without spending a dime... — Muse

Really, there was only one problem with Mr. Davis, as far as Gregory was concerned; He taught math. — Greg Pincus

The people knew then that Greg wasn't a monster, just a hungry animal. — KayeC Jones

Humorists always sit at the children's table. — Woody Allen

It's easy enough to get along with a loved and loving child - at least till you try to get him to do something. — Mignon McLaughlin

When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. — Nora Ephron

There's nothing more toxic or deadly than a human child. A single touch could kill you. — James Coburn

This I know for a fact: the reason African women have children is so that there's someone else to do the housework. — Ben Aaronovitch

Basset Hounds never get scared. We're fearless, resolute and know how to season a good lamb chop. — Elias Zapple

My parents and I always put great emphasis on telling stories that appeal to a child's sense of humor. — Mike Berenstain

What would your shoes say about the things you do everyday? — Sherley Mondesir-Prescott

By the time he graduates, projected to be by his thirtieth birthday, Wheeler's transcript will be a meme used to scare children into studying harder. — Kurt Dinan

Either you have a sense of humor about [being a former child star], or you're in rehab. There's not a lot of gray area. — Wil Wheaton

Duke to Michel: I'm fairly certain that even if
you'd struggle in a quiz against a pigeon, you are capable enough of opening doors. — Elias Zapple

My need to parent is so much bigger, sometimes, than my children's need for parenting. — Margot Page

We spend the first 12 months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next 12 months teaching them to sit down and shut up. — Phyllis Diller

I escaped from an interview with that laboratory-loving doctor, Ag O. Nee, just barely by the shadow of my Nosey nose! — I.B. Nosey

And ... I think that's what life is all about, actually,
about children and flowers. — Audrey Hepburn

Use condoms; it's wise not to gamble with your children's future. — Bauvard

Of all the gifts you can get, friends and family are the best! — Jan Britland

Having a kid is like an industrial revolution of the emotions. Suddenly you can mass produce worry, and guilt. — S.K. Tremayne

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up. — Ray Romano

That's the authentic punk dance. It's like a child dizzy on lemonade. — Noel Fielding

And you're the son of his youngest. He has no other children. Oh, your father's dead, by the way. Fell off a horse two years ago.'
'Good to know. — Scott Lynch

In God's eyes all children are beautiful but here on earth we have higher standards. — Stephen Colbert

There's nothing more contagious than the laughter of young children; it doesn't even have to matter what they're laughing about. — Criss Jami

There's nothing worse than the day you find out that your parents are nasty, horny mortals like everyone else. It just kills your childhood. — Candice Raquel Lee

My mother's father was just called "The Governor," or "Himself." Which, if you have sixteen kids, probably isn't as crazy as it sounds. — Kathy Griffin

Tiddlywinks, tiddlywinks, I want to play tiddlywinks, chanted Ramona, shaking her head back and forth. — Beverly Cleary

Ghosts!" gasped Alice. "Real, live ghosts?"

"No! Not 'real, live ghosts!' Spooky, dead ghosts! — Kellyn Roth

There's only one person who needs a glass of water oftener than a small child tucked in for the night, and that's a writer sitting down to write. — Mignon McLaughlin

Vimes's lack of interest in other people's children was limitless. — Terry Pratchett

Sometimes it's good to be the smartest rat in the sewer. — Michael Houbrick

Nicu: It's not fair! Everybody has fangs but me, and I can't even turn into a bat properly. Sometimes when I try I end up as a sparrow! — Elias Zapple

Nothing's really changed since then, except that now any children we have might be wizards themselves, and I'll be hopelessly outnumbered. — Eilis O'Neal

The thing about being a screenwriter, scriptwriter, scenarist, You get to have multiple personalities and not be charged. — Andrea L'Artiste

Children are our future. We cannot allow them to run amok.
-pg. 167 The Collected Sayings of the Emperor The Demon's Daughter — Emma Holly

You know teenage boys, you own one-Mason Lerner — Natasha Larry

I hang around kids so people will assume when I act like one it's because I'm babysitting. — Richelle E. Goodrich

Every child that receives life advice should keep in mind that in every parent's past, there's leftover booze and contraceptives. — Bauvard

Children are lovable and adorable. — Lailah Gifty Akita

Gerald's look assured her that he and the others would be as near angels as children could be without ceasing to be human. — E. Nesbit

The only thing weaker than a toddler's handshake is their immune system. — Jim Gaffigan

The smaller girl hid her eyes with her hands, and Ewan smiled. Did she think that would make her invisible? — C.J. Milbrandt

Jocelyn's stomach lodged another complaint with the management regarding the length of time since breakfast. — Heidi Schulz

Being a geological formation gives you a lot of time to think. Also, I subscribed to a number of learned journals. — Neil Gaiman

Mr. McGregor's a nasty piece of work, isn't he? Quite the Darth Vader of children's literature. — Jasper Fforde

I like subversive humor, freckles, women's knees and long hair, the laughter of playing children, and a girl running down the street. — Rene Magritte

Haylee shook her head as soon as they were gone. Christ, how can our family be mankind's best hope? — Natasha Larry

But there's no doubt that children have an innate sense of humor. No matter how young they are, they always know when something's really funny. — Tetsuko Kuroyanagi

That weekend my people brought home
a big eared gray scrawny kit.
He was so loud and annoying
that I did not like him one bit. — Melinda K. Trotter

Your name isn't Sniffles?" Ewan pretended to be surprised. — C.J. Milbrandt

Toilet paper unrolled and slithered
then wrapped around my tummy.
That paper tried to roll me up
into an Egyptian mummy. — Melinda K. Trotter

I like the authentic punk dance you did there. It's like a child dizzy off lemonade — Russell Howard