Book Humor Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Book Humor

Book Humor Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Book Humor quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

I used to get upset if somebody I didn't like loved a book I loved. That's MY book, I'd think. — Abigail Thomas

Sometimes, if you close your eyes and keep still, you can be invisible. Ostriches know this." - Constantine — Jamie Delano

Or
and this she knew was a far more accurate way of looking at it
the book was true and reality was lying. — Terry Pratchett

Women were tricky creatures under the best of circumstances. This was not the best of circumstances. — Genevieve Dewey

What's a book boyfriend and how do I find them so I can kick their asses? — M.D. Saperstein

CUSTOMER: Do you have this children's book I've heard about? It's supposed to be very good. It's called Lionel Richie and the Wardrobe. — Jen Campbell

Not that it isn't great to see you. But it's not so great for you. What'd you do wrong? Laugh at his dick? — Margaret Atwood

You had to admire a guy who called his own new book a classic before it was published and anyone else had a chance to read it. — William Goldman

The first rule of book club - is that nobody wants to talk about book club. — Douglas Lewis

Sometimes I want to slap some of the characters with their own book. — Anonymous

Did you ever wish you had a book that would explain the full meaning of life's random happenings to you? — Mariko Tamaki

Nobody understood why opposites attracted, and anybody who said they did was probably selling a book. — Lynn Blackmar

Oh, hey, kettle, I'm pot and wow, you're black." - Owen — Olivia Cunning

Maybe I should follow someone considering my next book is titled stalked. — Juanita Ray

She could read the phone book and make it sound erotic. — Kresley Cole

People hide the truth to protect those they love! — Craig Mercier

The truth is, I feel myself being fascinated and repelled by her: She's both a mirror of myself and a door to part of this island that I'm not. — Maggie Stiefvater

I had mostly been writing humor books, and my instinct is generally to go for the joke. — Jory John

He was afflicted with an education and a sense of humor. He was inspired by a purpose. He was armed with a phone book. He was doomed. — Alfred Bester

Kill them with kindness, slay them with a smile and murder them with a kiss. ~Caesar~ The Goodbye Man. — A. Giannoccaro

Love how editing makes you more confident with your book ...but also makes you want to set it on fire at the same time. — Kira Hawke

How about I call you when I finish this?"
"But you don't even have my phone number," he said.
"I strongly suspect you write it in the book. — John Green

I like books that are funny, but that aren't trying to be funny. I like situational humor. — Shiloh Fernandez

At a certain age almost all the questions a person asks him or herself are really just about one thing: how should you live your life? — Fredrik Backman

I am not the worst thing that can happen to you, but I will be the last. ~Caesar~ The Goodbye Man. — A. Giannoccaro

All of those who ask for, request or demand a title of this book will be asked to return it immediately. — Theodore Ficklestein

I hear your insults and plan to silence them with my victory. — Claudia Gray

Every time I hear about somebody who wins a never-work-again sum in the lottery but keeps his or her day job I think, not a book person. — Amy Smith

Look. The world is full of liars, and it's time someone admitted it, shed a light on it, and lightened up about it. — Lauren Handel Zander

Finally! You're here!"
Uh ... Do I know you?"
Well, no ... But you're here, all the same ... — Lynn Weingarten

The summer movies are coming out. My advice: just stay home and burn a good book. — Stephen Colbert

Writing a book is like sliding down a rainbow! Marketing it is like trudging through a field of chewed bubblegum on a hot, sticky day. — Betty Dravis

Give your brain a break and read a book. — Jeff Lyon

Life is a game I adore. I just wish someone had given me the rule book sooner. — Dane Waters

Will I have to use a litter box?
Emma to Max after he just explained she'll be turning into a puma shifter
The Wallflower (Halle Pumas Book 1) — Dana Marie Bell

Haylee shook her head as soon as they were gone. Christ, how can our family be mankind's best hope? — Natasha Larry

There are two motives for reading a book; one, that you enjoy it; the other, that you can boast about it. — Bertrand Russell

I wanted to do a book on donuts...Maybe this dream will be book number three, after the Fault in Our Starburst: a Brief History of the Yellow Ones. — Sammy Rhodes

Our mind has a mind of its own. — Lauren Handel Zander

You deserve good sperm. You've waited a long time. — Buffy Andrews

They're book addicts. — Lemony Snicket

I'm writing a book about Siamese Twins that are attached at the nose. It's called: Stop Staring at Me! — Zach Galifianakis

Rings try to find their way back to their owner. Someone ought to write a book about it. — Terry Pratchett

I've just finished my book, I wrote it on penguins. Come to think of it, paper would have been better. — Milton Jones

This,' whispered the Doctor to Romana, 'is going to be like trying to find a book about needles in a room full of books about haystacks. — Gareth Roberts

I know the fucking Bible, and there ain't no fucking Book of Leviathan. — Dan Simmons

Only one president in this book was a supervillain. Ladies and gentlemen, meet Chester A. Arthur, the Lex Luthor of the American Presidency. — Daniel O'Brien

Silas consumed only one food, and it was not bananas. — Neil Gaiman

Awesome ... " Jared spoke up from the other side of the room. "Ember, the Otherworld's wonder mutt. — Stacey Marie Brown

A hint: perhaps in this case, you should refrain from throwing the book at the audience when you finish. — Annie Barrows

One morning you wake up with more life behind you than in front of you, not being able to understand how it's happened. — Fredrik Backman

Jason tilts his head toward me, his hand moving slyly across his book. Stupid. Speech. Woman. — Cynthia Lord

Toilet paper unrolled and slithered
then wrapped around my tummy.
That paper tried to roll me up
into an Egyptian mummy. — Melinda K. Trotter

A brick can be used to represent the zero probability of this book being any good. — Amy Summers

You're not a book person. And now you're not an internet person? What does that leave you? — Rainbow Rowell

If you don't read my book, I'm not coming to your birthday party. — Tim Yeager

Plus as she put it, Prince Eric was far too hairy and peach colored for her taste. I always thought he was pretty hott, but then again, I am a mammal. — Kiersten White

True Devdas are Authors — Santosh Avvannavar

Magda was reading a book by a Trappist, in a better mood, and I was sitting on the edge of the bed, fingering my useless map. — Junot Diaz

Teenage twerp thought she knew everything about everything. — Tiffany Reisz

Joke in book:
You know the difference between a brownnoser and a shithead, right? Depth perception. — Elisabeth Naughton

Winnie, don't you ever think you're selling yourself short?"

"Nope. Never. I'm really good at picking quality dick. — Elizabeth Brown

Come on sweetheart, wet your whistle, my little inanimate hussy." ~Steve — Lucian Bane

Great books live longer than people.
They are gonna bury us all. — Patricia Nedelea

I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling out. — Jay London

The fact that the biblical book Hebrews is not an epistle of St Paul, or of any other apostle, is proved by what it says in chapter two ... — Martin Luther

I'm considering writing a self-help book and giving people 20 cents to read it. This way, I can be sure they all get new paradigms. — Ryan Lilly

If after reading this book you come to my home and brutally murder me, I do not blame you. — Jesse Andrews

The day it went live on Kindle, 33 people visited my web site. I wish they'd all bought the book. — Marilynn Larew

A book can tell me anything it wants to, but I sure as shit don't have to believe it. — Tiger Gray

Will I have to use a dictionary to read your book?" asked Mrs. Dodypol. "It depends," says I, "how much you used the dictionary before you read it. — Alexander Theroux

To me; reading a book is like watching a movie. Once I start, I can't stop until it's over. — Anonymous

I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room. — Steven Wright

I think there are probably just as many adults who would miss the humor of my books, if not more, as there are children. — Daniel Handler

Times are really bad. Everyone is writing a book and quoting themselves. — Omar Kiam

I'm Reginald Clark, I'm afraid of the dark
So please do not close this book on me. — Shel Silverstein

I read the fuck out of every book I can get my hands on. — Nick Hornby

Oops. Sorry, everybody. This book is not officially endorsed by the proper Muse. If it explodes in your hand, my bad. — Rick Riordan

This book was written using 100% recycled words. — Terry Pratchett

I reread Mesrine's book every year because the way the story is told is fascinating. Today, we don't have gangsters like Mesrine - he had humor. — Thomas Langmann

The covers of this book are too far apart. — Ambrose Bierce

I feel that the characters in my book, if they were real, would be like, "Seriously, another plot twist? — Meghan Blistinsky

In my book an erection constitutes personal growth. — Amunhotep El Bey

If you don't want to keep him, then pretend he's a book. Enjoy him for two weeks, then return him — Shannon Stacey

That's the exciting part about capitalism. It's like surfing, you have to catch the wave. - Martin Peter (aka Vermin Gobsmack) — Jamie Delano

My friend says she's smart. She reads a book to fall asleep. — Nicholaa Spencer

If your career doesn't work out, write a book about it. — Marcy Sheiner

All these sorts of book feature in The Year of Reading Dangerously, which could yet be called Fifty Shades of Great. — Andy Miller

Whoever that hermit was, he obviously despised his fellow man, and that meant he was OK in Eliot's book. — Lev Grossman

What do you call a rifle with three barrels?
A trifle. — Joseph Rosenbloom

The answer to all of life's problems are out there somewhere its just a question of finding the right book — Tammy Blackwell

Which is him? The grammar was faulty, maybe, but we could not know, then, that it would go in a book someday. — Mark Twain

The last time I was this confused I was watching a Fassbinder film. — Ken O'Neill

Don't ever trust anyone who's writing a book. They make up lies for a living. — Rosemary Clement-Moore

My very revered father, I am beginning to think that - Well, there's little peace in this world for a quiet book-loving man. — Ellery Queen

I don't believe in ONE holy book. I believe all books are holy. Of course, some books are holy shit. — John Raptor

Got bitten by the book bug? — Maryann Gestwicki

Far be it from me to keep a woman from her book. That could become dangerous — Elizabeth Hunter

Life is way too short, so try to enjoy every minute of it with a sense of humor! — Christina Scalise

Community college is like a disco with books: "Here's ten dollars; let me get my learn on!" — Chris Rock