Bill Hicks Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Bill Hicks quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

When you're ... stepping over a guy on the sidewalk ... does it ever occur to you to think, 'Wow. Maybe our system doesn't work?' — Bill Hicks

I am a misanthropic humanist ... Do I like people? They're great, IN THEORY. — Bill Hicks

I am available for children's parties, by the way ... — Bill Hicks

Would you let the aliens land, please? They might be here to pick me up. — Bill Hicks

Humanity is just a virus with shoes. — Bill Hicks

Are gun rights advocates arguing that roving gangs ... shooting innocent bystanders constitutes a 'well-regulated militia'? — Bill Hicks

A Christian will say ... "I believe God created me in one day" Yeah, looks liked He rushed it. — Bill Hicks

There is no such thing as death; life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. — Bill Hicks

I wish I could meet a Christian who would proselytize to me, but they keep running away from me. I wanna talk to you all. — Bill Hicks

I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, "My dad can beat up your dad." I'd say Yeah? When? — Bill Hicks

All day long you see those commercials: 'Here's Your Brain, Just Say No' ... and the next commercial is: 'This Bud's For You.' — Bill Hicks

Our next Cold War ought to be with ourselves ... After all, who poses the biggest danger to the American environment? We do. — Bill Hicks

[Comedy] is an escape from illusions. The audience is ... thinking, 'This bullshit we see and hear all day makes no sense.' — Bill Hicks

How dare you have wino tell me not to do drugs. — Bill Hicks

I saw ... a kid on a leash. You seen these people? Kid on a leash? How horrible. Put him in the pound where he belongs. — Bill Hicks

'Warning: Smoking may cause fetal injury or premature birth.' ... Found MY brand! Just don't get the ones that say 'lung cancer.' — Bill Hicks

I believe we all have the Voice of Reason inside us ... to gently lead us out of our own self-created hells ... — Bill Hicks

Just one thing I know for sure, chicks dig jerks. — Bill Hicks

I'd ... bet enthusiasm for 'ethnic cleansing' will wane if only sticks and rocks are available for the warring parties. — Bill Hicks

Do I have a message? Yes, I do. Here's my message: as scary as the world is - and it is - it is merely a ride ... — Bill Hicks

Been on what I call my Flying Saucer Tour
appearing in small Southern towns
in front of handfuls of hillbillies. — Bill Hicks

Is it my business if somebody wants to burn a flag? ... No, it's not ... That's called logic and it'll help us all evolve ... — Bill Hicks

What does an atheist scream when they come? — Bill Hicks

Shut up! Go back to bed, America. Your government is in control. Here's Love Connection. Watch this and get fat and stupid. — Bill Hicks

Rock stars against drugs
that's what we want, isn't it? Government-approved rock-n-roll? Woo! We're partying now! — Bill Hicks

They believe the bible is the exact word of God - Then they change the bible! Pretty presumptuous, hu huh? "I think what God meant to say ... " — Bill Hicks

The role of the comedian is to say 'Wait a minute' when a consensus starts to form. — Bill Hicks

By the way, if anyone here is in advertising or marketing, kill yourself. — Bill Hicks

Okay, I got one word to ask you, a one word question, ready? — Bill Hicks

I don't do drugs anymore ... than, say, the average touring funk band. — Bill Hicks

My voice was not heard, the questions were not asked that I wanted to see asked. — Bill Hicks

Writing, acting, music, comedy. A deep love of literature and books. Thank God for all the artists who've helped me. — Bill Hicks

I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out. — Bill Hicks

Mummy, I woke today and there was a Lincoln Log in me sock drawer! ... That's the story of Jesus. — Bill Hicks

If you don't think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD's and burn them. — Bill Hicks

There is a 3rd point of view on the gun control issue
those who I refer to as THE VICTIMS
but they remain strangely silent ... — Bill Hicks

I want my rockstars dead. — Bill Hicks

I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution. — Bill Hicks

We all pay for life with death, so everything in between should be free. — Bill Hicks

Rock stars hawking Diet Cokes
are demons set loose on the Earth to lower the standards for the perfect & holy children of God! — Bill Hicks

Eternal suffering awaits anyone who questions god's infinite love. — Bill Hicks

Dinosaur fossils were placed in rocks by prankster God just to make human beings think the world is older than it is. — Bill Hicks

not all drugs are good.. some of them are great — Bill Hicks

I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck. — Bill Hicks

Mushrooms grow on cow turds. I love that. I think that's why you giggle the first hour. — Bill Hicks

Let me tell you about gays in the military. I don't want any gay people hanging around me while I'm killing kids. I just don't want to see it. — Bill Hicks

If you are living for tomorrow, you will always be one day behind. — Bill Hicks

That's what I'm gonna do: quit gradually ... I'm gonna lose one lung; little while later I'm gonna lose the other one. — Bill Hicks

You ever notice that everyone who believes in creationism looks really un-evolved? — Bill Hicks

If I thought the Jews killed God, I'd worship the Jews. — Bill Hicks

I don't get along with anything, I really don't ... I'm, I'm, maybe I'm just a, you know, incredibly tasteful human being. — Bill Hicks

What kind of people are these with such low self-esteem that they need a war to feel better about themselves? — Bill Hicks

I believe it is our own misperceptions of who we really are that leads to every self-created hell you'll find in this world. — Bill Hicks

Any organization created out of fear must create fear to survive. — Bill Hicks

So scary watching the news ... Like Iraq ... could ever under any stretch of the imagination be any threat to us whatsoever. — Bill Hicks

I'm just trying to rid the world of all these fevered egos that are tainting our collective unconscious ... — Bill Hicks

Don't worry, don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride. — Bill Hicks

The eyes of love see all of us as one. — Bill Hicks

I get a kick out of being an outsider constantly. It allows me to be creative. I don't like anything in the mainstream and they don't like me. — Bill Hicks

Truly, the only stupid people I've ever met, the most absolutely clueless, are the very people that produce television. — Bill Hicks

To me, Texas is Austin, a bunch of cool people trying to make a difference. — Bill Hicks

I can't watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust. — Bill Hicks

Pornography is any act that has no artistic merit and causes sexual thoughts ... Sounds like almost every commercial on TV to me. — Bill Hicks

It has become more and more obvious that there is one political party in America, and that is The Business Party. — Bill Hicks

You think when Jesus comes back, he really wants to see a cross? That's like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on. — Bill Hicks

The definition of black irony is Pro-lifers killing Doctors who do abortions — Bill Hicks

Will there be titty? Sure. Boom! I'm a producer. Where you been all our life, boy? We been lookin for you in Hollywood. — Bill Hicks

What's gonna happen to the arms industry when we realize we're all One? ... You can see why the government's cracking down. — Bill Hicks

When two or more people agree on an issue, I form on the other side. — Bill Hicks

It's my object to be stared at like a dog that's just been shown a card trick. — Bill Hicks

The Voice of Reason is in us all ... and everyone can recognize it because it makes sense and everyone benefits from it equally. — Bill Hicks

No one knows what it's like ... to be a dustbin ... in Shaftesbury ... with hooligans ... — Bill Hicks

As long as one person lives in darkness then it seems to be a responsibility to tell other people. — Bill Hicks

I don't care if you're obscene, filthy, horrendous
as long as you're honest. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks is a huge influence. I love him. — Daniel Tosh

The American dream is a crock. Stop wanting everything. Everyone should wear jeans and have three T-shirts, eat rice and beans. — Bill Hicks

It's you people dying from nothing that are screwed. I got all sorts of neat gadgets waiting for me ... oxygen tent, iron lung. — Bill Hicks

I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your fuckin' mouth. — Bill Hicks

I used to love to call L.A. when I lived in New York ... Is that the Big One I hear in the background? Bye you lizard scum! Bye! — Bill Hicks

I'm just skin covering coffee and some real nervous teeth. — Bill Hicks

I hate patriotism ... I can't stand it. It's a round world last time I checked. — Bill Hicks

I can't believe a war against drugs when they have anti-drug commercials on TV all day long followed by This Bud is for you. — Bill Hicks

The puppet on the right shares my beliefs, the puppet on the left is more to my liking. Hey ... there's one guy holding up both! — Bill Hicks

I'm a heavy smoker. I go through two lighters a day. — Bill Hicks

Hitler had the right idea, he was just an underachiever. — Bill Hicks

Oh
won't we party hard when L.A. goes kersplash? ... L.A. fell in the ocean? ... There is a God. He loves us all so much. — Bill Hicks

Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye. — Bill Hicks

It's really weird how your life changes. Tonight I'm drinking water. Four years ago? Opium. Night and day, you know? — Bill Hicks

To make marijuana against the law is like saying God made a big mistake. — Bill Hicks

'Where's Bill going?' He's going to comedy death. Boom! He pops out of it with another joke. It's my particular style. — Bill Hicks

It's an insane world, and I'm proud to be a part of it. — Bill Hicks

So, it's good to be here, wherever I am. — Bill Hicks

You're not a human till you're in my phone book. There. My hat is now in the political ring. — Bill Hicks

Let's do some comedy. I always like to add some comedy to my show. Those who've seen me before might know that. — Bill Hicks

It's always funny until someone gets hurt.
Then it's just hilarious. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks wasn't just a comic, he was a crusader against humanity's relentless capacity to underachieve — Simon Pegg

We are losing the 'War on Drugs,' which means there's a war going on and people on drugs are winning it. — Bill Hicks

Ever noticed that people who believe in Creationism look really unevolved? — Bill Hicks

If you're so pro-life, do me a favour: don't lock arms and block medical clinics. If you're so pro-life, lock arms and block cemeteries. — Bill Hicks

I don't identify with anyone historically, but there are several people in the future who I am a dead ringer for. — Bill Hicks