Bill Hicks Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Bill Hicks quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: When you're ... stepping over a guy on

When you're ... stepping over a guy on the sidewalk ... does it ever occur to you to think, 'Wow. Maybe our system doesn't work?' — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: I am a misanthropic humanist ... Do I

I am a misanthropic humanist ... Do I like people? They're great, IN THEORY. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: I am available for children's parties, by the

I am available for children's parties, by the way ... — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: Would you let the aliens land, please? They

Would you let the aliens land, please? They might be here to pick me up. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: Humanity is just a virus with shoes.

Humanity is just a virus with shoes. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: Are gun rights advocates arguing that roving gangs

Are gun rights advocates arguing that roving gangs ... shooting innocent bystanders constitutes a 'well-regulated militia'? — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: A Christian will say ... "I believe God

A Christian will say ... "I believe God created me in one day" Yeah, looks liked He rushed it. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: There is no such thing as death; life

There is no such thing as death; life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: I wish I could meet a Christian who

I wish I could meet a Christian who would proselytize to me, but they keep running away from me. I wanna talk to you all. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: I never got along with my dad. Kids

I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, "My dad can beat up your dad." I'd say Yeah? When? — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: All day long you see those commercials: 'Here's

All day long you see those commercials: 'Here's Your Brain, Just Say No' ... and the next commercial is: 'This Bud's For You.' — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: Our next Cold War ought to be with

Our next Cold War ought to be with ourselves ... After all, who poses the biggest danger to the American environment? We do. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: [Comedy] is an escape from illusions. The audience

[Comedy] is an escape from illusions. The audience is ... thinking, 'This bullshit we see and hear all day makes no sense.' — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: How dare you have wino tell me not

How dare you have wino tell me not to do drugs. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: I saw ... a kid on a leash.

I saw ... a kid on a leash. You seen these people? Kid on a leash? How horrible. Put him in the pound where he belongs. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: 'Warning: Smoking may cause fetal injury or premature

'Warning: Smoking may cause fetal injury or premature birth.' ... Found MY brand! Just don't get the ones that say 'lung cancer.' — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: I believe we all have the Voice of

I believe we all have the Voice of Reason inside us ... to gently lead us out of our own self-created hells ... — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: Just one thing I know for sure, chicks

Just one thing I know for sure, chicks dig jerks. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: I'd ... bet enthusiasm for 'ethnic cleansing' will

I'd ... bet enthusiasm for 'ethnic cleansing' will wane if only sticks and rocks are available for the warring parties. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: Do I have a message? Yes, I do.

Do I have a message? Yes, I do. Here's my message: as scary as the world is - and it is - it is merely a ride ... — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: Been on what I call my Flying Saucer

Been on what I call my Flying Saucer Tour
appearing in small Southern towns
in front of handfuls of hillbillies. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: Is it my business if somebody wants to

Is it my business if somebody wants to burn a flag? ... No, it's not ... That's called logic and it'll help us all evolve ... — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: What does an atheist scream when they come?

What does an atheist scream when they come? — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: Shut up! Go back to bed, America. Your

Shut up! Go back to bed, America. Your government is in control. Here's Love Connection. Watch this and get fat and stupid. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: Rock stars against drugsthat's what we want, isn't

Rock stars against drugs
that's what we want, isn't it? Government-approved rock-n-roll? Woo! We're partying now! — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: They believe the bible is the exact word

They believe the bible is the exact word of God - Then they change the bible! Pretty presumptuous, hu huh? "I think what God meant to say ... " — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: The role of the comedian is to say

The role of the comedian is to say 'Wait a minute' when a consensus starts to form. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: By the way, if anyone here is in

By the way, if anyone here is in advertising or marketing, kill yourself. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: Okay, I got one word to ask you,

Okay, I got one word to ask you, a one word question, ready? — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: I don't do drugs anymore ... than, say,

I don't do drugs anymore ... than, say, the average touring funk band. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: My voice was not heard, the questions were

My voice was not heard, the questions were not asked that I wanted to see asked. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: Writing, acting, music, comedy. A deep love of

Writing, acting, music, comedy. A deep love of literature and books. Thank God for all the artists who've helped me. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or

I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: Mummy, I woke today and there was a

Mummy, I woke today and there was a Lincoln Log in me sock drawer! ... That's the story of Jesus. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: If you don't think drugs have done good

If you don't think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD's and burn them. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: There is a 3rd point of view on

There is a 3rd point of view on the gun control issue
those who I refer to as THE VICTIMS
but they remain strangely silent ... — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: I want my rockstars dead.

I want my rockstars dead. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: I believe that God left certain drugs growing

I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: We all pay for life with death, so

We all pay for life with death, so everything in between should be free. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: Rock stars hawking Diet Cokesare demons set loose

Rock stars hawking Diet Cokes
are demons set loose on the Earth to lower the standards for the perfect & holy children of God! — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: Eternal suffering awaits anyone who questions god's infinite

Eternal suffering awaits anyone who questions god's infinite love. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: Dinosaur fossils were placed in rocks by prankster

Dinosaur fossils were placed in rocks by prankster God just to make human beings think the world is older than it is. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: not all drugs are good.. some of them

not all drugs are good.. some of them are great — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: I believe that there is an equality to

I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: Mushrooms grow on cow turds. I love that.

Mushrooms grow on cow turds. I love that. I think that's why you giggle the first hour. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: Let me tell you about gays in the

Let me tell you about gays in the military. I don't want any gay people hanging around me while I'm killing kids. I just don't want to see it. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: If you are living for tomorrow, you will

If you are living for tomorrow, you will always be one day behind. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: That's what I'm gonna do: quit gradually ...

That's what I'm gonna do: quit gradually ... I'm gonna lose one lung; little while later I'm gonna lose the other one. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: You ever notice that everyone who believes in

You ever notice that everyone who believes in creationism looks really un-evolved? — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: If I thought the Jews killed God, I'd

If I thought the Jews killed God, I'd worship the Jews. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: I don't get along with anything, I really

I don't get along with anything, I really don't ... I'm, I'm, maybe I'm just a, you know, incredibly tasteful human being. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: What kind of people are these with such

What kind of people are these with such low self-esteem that they need a war to feel better about themselves? — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: I believe it is our own misperceptions of

I believe it is our own misperceptions of who we really are that leads to every self-created hell you'll find in this world. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: Any organization created out of fear must create

Any organization created out of fear must create fear to survive. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: So scary watching the news ... Like Iraq

So scary watching the news ... Like Iraq ... could ever under any stretch of the imagination be any threat to us whatsoever. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: I'm just trying to rid the world of

I'm just trying to rid the world of all these fevered egos that are tainting our collective unconscious ... — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: Don't worry, don't be afraid, ever, because this

Don't worry, don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: The eyes of love see all of us

The eyes of love see all of us as one. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: I get a kick out of being an

I get a kick out of being an outsider constantly. It allows me to be creative. I don't like anything in the mainstream and they don't like me. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: Truly, the only stupid people I've ever met,

Truly, the only stupid people I've ever met, the most absolutely clueless, are the very people that produce television. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: To me, Texas is Austin, a bunch of

To me, Texas is Austin, a bunch of cool people trying to make a difference. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: I can't watch TV longer than five minutes

I can't watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: Pornography is any act that has no artistic

Pornography is any act that has no artistic merit and causes sexual thoughts ... Sounds like almost every commercial on TV to me. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: It has become more and more obvious that

It has become more and more obvious that there is one political party in America, and that is The Business Party. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: You think when Jesus comes back, he really

You think when Jesus comes back, he really wants to see a cross? That's like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: The definition of black irony is Pro-lifers killing

The definition of black irony is Pro-lifers killing Doctors who do abortions — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: Will there be titty? Sure. Boom! I'm a

Will there be titty? Sure. Boom! I'm a producer. Where you been all our life, boy? We been lookin for you in Hollywood. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: What's gonna happen to the arms industry when

What's gonna happen to the arms industry when we realize we're all One? ... You can see why the government's cracking down. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: When two or more people agree on an

When two or more people agree on an issue, I form on the other side. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: It's my object to be stared at like

It's my object to be stared at like a dog that's just been shown a card trick. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: The Voice of Reason is in us all

The Voice of Reason is in us all ... and everyone can recognize it because it makes sense and everyone benefits from it equally. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: No one knows what it's like ... to

No one knows what it's like ... to be a dustbin ... in Shaftesbury ... with hooligans ... — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: As long as one person lives in darkness

As long as one person lives in darkness then it seems to be a responsibility to tell other people. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: I don't care if you're obscene, filthy, horrendous

I don't care if you're obscene, filthy, horrendous
as long as you're honest. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Daniel Tosh: Bill Hicks is a huge influence. I love

Bill Hicks is a huge influence. I love him. — Daniel Tosh

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: The American dream is a crock. Stop wanting

The American dream is a crock. Stop wanting everything. Everyone should wear jeans and have three T-shirts, eat rice and beans. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: It's you people dying from nothing that are

It's you people dying from nothing that are screwed. I got all sorts of neat gadgets waiting for me ... oxygen tent, iron lung. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest

I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your fuckin' mouth. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: I used to love to call L.A. when

I used to love to call L.A. when I lived in New York ... Is that the Big One I hear in the background? Bye you lizard scum! Bye! — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: I'm just skin covering coffee and some real

I'm just skin covering coffee and some real nervous teeth. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: I hate patriotism ... I can't stand it.

I hate patriotism ... I can't stand it. It's a round world last time I checked. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: I can't believe a war against drugs when

I can't believe a war against drugs when they have anti-drug commercials on TV all day long followed by This Bud is for you. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: The puppet on the right shares my beliefs,

The puppet on the right shares my beliefs, the puppet on the left is more to my liking. Hey ... there's one guy holding up both! — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: I'm a heavy smoker. I go through two

I'm a heavy smoker. I go through two lighters a day. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: Hitler had the right idea, he was just

Hitler had the right idea, he was just an underachiever. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: Ohwon't we party hard when L.A. goes kersplash?

Oh
won't we party hard when L.A. goes kersplash? ... L.A. fell in the ocean? ... There is a God. He loves us all so much. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: Watching television is like taking black spray paint

Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: It's really weird how your life changes. Tonight

It's really weird how your life changes. Tonight I'm drinking water. Four years ago? Opium. Night and day, you know? — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: To make marijuana against the law is like

To make marijuana against the law is like saying God made a big mistake. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: 'Where's Bill going?' He's going to comedy death.

'Where's Bill going?' He's going to comedy death. Boom! He pops out of it with another joke. It's my particular style. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: It's an insane world, and I'm proud to

It's an insane world, and I'm proud to be a part of it. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: So, it's good to be here, wherever I

So, it's good to be here, wherever I am. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: You're not a human till you're in my

You're not a human till you're in my phone book. There. My hat is now in the political ring. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: Let's do some comedy. I always like to

Let's do some comedy. I always like to add some comedy to my show. Those who've seen me before might know that. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: It's always funny until someone gets hurt.Then it's

It's always funny until someone gets hurt.
Then it's just hilarious. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Simon Pegg: Bill Hicks wasn't just a comic, he was

Bill Hicks wasn't just a comic, he was a crusader against humanity's relentless capacity to underachieve — Simon Pegg

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: We are losing the 'War on Drugs,' which

We are losing the 'War on Drugs,' which means there's a war going on and people on drugs are winning it. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: Ever noticed that people who believe in Creationism

Ever noticed that people who believe in Creationism look really unevolved? — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: If you're so pro-life, do me a favour:

If you're so pro-life, do me a favour: don't lock arms and block medical clinics. If you're so pro-life, lock arms and block cemeteries. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes By Bill Hicks: I don't identify with anyone historically, but there

I don't identify with anyone historically, but there are several people in the future who I am a dead ringer for. — Bill Hicks