Best Humorous Quotes: top 74 famous quotes about Best Humorous

Best Humorous Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Best Humorous quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Best Humorous Quotes By Regina Griffin: Ish #153 Artificial plants grow best in artificial

Ish #153 Artificial plants grow best in artificial light. — Regina Griffin

Best Humorous Quotes By Richelle E. Goodrich: What I learn today I shall know forever.

What I learn today I shall know forever. Whether or not I remember that I know it is a different story. — Richelle E. Goodrich

Best Humorous Quotes By Elizabeth Inchbald: For the hackneyed art of lying without injury

For the hackneyed art of lying without injury to anyone, Rushbrook, to his shame, was proficient. — Elizabeth Inchbald

Best Humorous Quotes By Neil Gaiman: The real problem with stories - if you

The real problem with stories - if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death. — Neil Gaiman

Best Humorous Quotes By Evelynn Crowe: Very few problems cannot be solved by either

Very few problems cannot be solved by either coffee, wine or chocolate. — Evelynn Crowe

Best Humorous Quotes By Richard Peck: I'm so far gone that I'm telling the

I'm so far gone that I'm telling the truth. It sounds like a foreign language. — Richard Peck

Best Humorous Quotes By Heather Fleener: Did you once own ruby slippers, and did

Did you once own ruby slippers, and did a house fall on your head? You're a daft little munchkin. — Heather Fleener

Best Humorous Quotes By Haruki Murakami: The best point of my novels, I think,

The best point of my novels, I think, is their humor. I want to keep many my works humorous. — Haruki Murakami

Best Humorous Quotes By Tara Sivec: My father had bought him a shirtthat said

My father had bought him a shirt
that said Sure you can date my daughter. In a completely unrelated topic,
have you seen my shotgun? — Tara Sivec

Best Humorous Quotes By Erma Bombeck: Some of the best fiction writers got their

Some of the best fiction writers got their start writing airline menus. — Erma Bombeck

Best Humorous Quotes By Mark Twain: The humorous story is told gravely; the teller

The humorous story is told gravely; the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there is anything funny about it. — Mark Twain

Best Humorous Quotes By Leah Rae Miller: What's the saying? All is donkey balls in

What's the saying? All is donkey balls in love and war?
-Dan Garrett — Leah Rae Miller

Best Humorous Quotes By Gish Jen: What's more, he was going to have a

What's more, he was going to have a full American breakfast with bacon and eggs, none of this continental bullshit. — Gish Jen

Best Humorous Quotes By J.P. Mac: Anything can happen in Hollywood, even good things.

Anything can happen in Hollywood, even good things. — J.P. Mac

Best Humorous Quotes By Melissa Aragon: I threw my hand over my mouth and

I threw my hand over my mouth and blurted out the first best excuse I could come up with, Morning breath! — Melissa Aragon

Best Humorous Quotes By Steven Erikson: Now, invite me in, before I lose my

Now, invite me in, before I lose my temperature.'

'Temper, you mean.'

'No, temperature. It's getting chilly. — Steven Erikson

Best Humorous Quotes By Nitesh Nishad: Forget your past,Use your pain;Accept that pain,And Achieve

Forget your past,
Use your pain;
Accept that pain,
And Achieve the gain. — Nitesh Nishad

Best Humorous Quotes By P.G. Wodehouse: Lord Emsworth belonged to the people-like-to-be-left-alone-to-amuse-themselves-when-they-come-to-a-place school of

Lord Emsworth belonged to the people-like-to-be-left-alone-to-amuse-themselves-when-they-come-to-a-place school of hosts — P.G. Wodehouse

Best Humorous Quotes By Jeff Kinney: I'm basically one of the best people I

I'm basically one of the best people I know. — Jeff Kinney

Best Humorous Quotes By R.L. Mathewson: You spit in this?""Yup."Chris shrugged. "As long as

You spit in this?"
"Yup."
Chris shrugged. "As long as you're honest. — R.L. Mathewson

Best Humorous Quotes By Peter Drucker: There's an enormous number of managers who have

There's an enormous number of managers who have retired on the job. — Peter Drucker

Best Humorous Quotes By Me: One of my students once asked me:-' Teacher,

One of my students once asked me:
-' Teacher, do you like kids?'-
I said:
-' Yes, especially baked.'- — Me

Best Humorous Quotes By Ali Cooper: Whats up home skillet, biscuit.

Whats up home skillet, biscuit. — Ali Cooper

Best Humorous Quotes By Lloyd Alexander: -"He loved her ... It was noble of

-"He loved her ... It was noble of him. It was beautiful."
-"It was stupid. — Lloyd Alexander

Best Humorous Quotes By Scylar Tyberius: I can't get her pregnant! I'm just thirteen.

I can't get her pregnant! I'm just thirteen. You have to be a man to get a girl pregnant. — Scylar Tyberius

Best Humorous Quotes By Katherine McIntyre: May as well have ox blood running through

May as well have ox blood running through those veins," I added, "You're as
stubborn as one. — Katherine McIntyre

Best Humorous Quotes By George Carlin: Ah, to be a bird. To fly the

Ah, to be a bird. To fly the skies, sing my song, and best of all occasionally peck someone's eyes out. — George Carlin

Best Humorous Quotes By Sam Kean: Germans at the time believed, a little oddly,

Germans at the time believed, a little oddly, that dyes killed germs by turning the germs' vital organs the wrong color. — Sam Kean

Best Humorous Quotes By F Scott Fitzgerald: It's all life is. Just going 'round kissing

It's all life is. Just going 'round kissing people. — F Scott Fitzgerald

Best Humorous Quotes By Hiroko Sakai: If somebody tells me what to do, I

If somebody tells me what to do, I will do my best not to do it. — Hiroko Sakai

Best Humorous Quotes By Abigail Barnette: But the best part of catching Neil in

But the best part of catching Neil in the shower was, hands down, the loud, awful singing. — Abigail Barnette

Best Humorous Quotes By Carroll Bryant: If they're not going to respect you, then

If they're not going to respect you, then they best damn well fear you. — Carroll Bryant

Best Humorous Quotes By Diana Gabaldon: At the best of times, Father Bain's face

At the best of times, Father Bain's face resembled a clenched fist. — Diana Gabaldon

Best Humorous Quotes By Frank Zappa: Mr. Gorbachev has apparently stumbled onto one of

Mr. Gorbachev has apparently stumbled onto one of the best-kept secrets in recent Soviet history: Communism doesn't work. — Frank Zappa

Best Humorous Quotes By Barb Best: Embrace tomfoolery as if it were a rich

Embrace tomfoolery as if it were a rich relative on his deathbed. — Barb Best

Best Humorous Quotes By Dave Beard: I usually lump organized religion, organized labor, and

I usually lump organized religion, organized labor, and organized crime together. The Mafia gets points for having the best restaurants — Dave Beard

Best Humorous Quotes By Charles Dickens: A man can well afford to be as

A man can well afford to be as bold as brass, my good fellow, when he gets gold in exchange! — Charles Dickens

Best Humorous Quotes By Matt Ruff: Invoking the name of Al Gaddafi cured my

Invoking the name of Al Gaddafi cured my blue screen of death — Matt Ruff

Best Humorous Quotes By Michael P. Clutton: If laughter is the best medicine, let's OD

If laughter is the best medicine, let's OD together. — Michael P. Clutton

Best Humorous Quotes By Doctor You: East or West, Home is BestNorth or South,

East or West, Home is Best
North or South, Hand to Mouth — Doctor You

Best Humorous Quotes By Jack Bunbury: Life is like a fondue: the best fruit

Life is like a fondue: the best fruit ain't the best till it's been through some goo. — Jack Bunbury

Best Humorous Quotes By David Byrne: I don't care how impossible it seems.

I don't care how impossible it seems. — David Byrne

Best Humorous Quotes By E.A. Bucchianeri: I have been told the best things in

I have been told the best things in life are free ~ I found them very expensive. — E.A. Bucchianeri

Best Humorous Quotes By Christy Hall: Q: Best part about being a musical theatre

Q: Best part about being a musical theatre book writer?
A: Explaining what that is. — Christy Hall

Best Humorous Quotes By Tina Fey: The best of show was completely gone and

The best of show was completely gone and we were in big trouble, except we didn't really care. — Tina Fey

Best Humorous Quotes By Erica Dakin: Is that how you get propositioned at the

Is that how you get propositioned at the court? 'Mylady, would you be so kind as to allow me to put my manhood in your vagina'? — Erica Dakin

Best Humorous Quotes By Stacey Kade: Sorry, maybe this is the head injury talking,

Sorry, maybe this is the head injury talking, but ... what? — Stacey Kade

Best Humorous Quotes By The Band Perry: I took your name when I took those

I took your name when I took those vows
I meant 'em back then and I mean 'em right now. — The Band Perry

Best Humorous Quotes By Kale Lawrence: Shut up, you fool ... Really. I'm running

Shut up, you fool ... Really. I'm running out of things to throw at you. — Kale Lawrence

Best Humorous Quotes By Nick Jimbanis: Buy this book , buy this book ,

Buy this book , buy this book , you need this book, buy book now.'

Subliminal messaging works! — Nick Jimbanis

Best Humorous Quotes By Cara Lynn Shultz: This guy had more lines than loose-leaf.

This guy had more lines than loose-leaf. — Cara Lynn Shultz

Best Humorous Quotes By Neil Leckman: I sprayed my dog with off and he

I sprayed my dog with off and he still sits in my favorite chair!! — Neil Leckman

Best Humorous Quotes By Steven Pinker: Chomsky is a pencil-and-paper theoretician who wouldn't know

Chomsky is a pencil-and-paper theoretician who wouldn't know Jabba the Hutt from the Cookie Monster, — Steven Pinker

Best Humorous Quotes By J.R. Ward: As far as he was concerned, there were

As far as he was concerned, there were only two good positions for a human. A female on her back. And a male facedown not breathing. — J.R. Ward

Best Humorous Quotes By Marie Phillips: Apollo wanted out. Out of Aphrodite, out of

Apollo wanted out. Out of Aphrodite, out of this bathroom, out of this house, and out of this life. — Marie Phillips

Best Humorous Quotes By Emma Beasley: I screamed, Go to hell! in the car,

I screamed, Go to hell! in the car, and the GPS took me to my mother-in-law's house. — Emma Beasley

Best Humorous Quotes By Camilla Chafer: I suspected his middle name was "Yum".

I suspected his middle name was "Yum". — Camilla Chafer

Best Humorous Quotes By Yana Toboso: Even though I dislike being kicked by others,

Even though I dislike being kicked by others, I do enjoy the feeling of kicking others — Yana Toboso

Best Humorous Quotes By Mark Twain: I persuaded him to throw the dirk away;

I persuaded him to throw the dirk away; and it was as easy as persuading a child to give up some bright fresh new way of killing itself. — Mark Twain

Best Humorous Quotes By John Dryden: 'Tis a good thing to laugh at any

'Tis a good thing to laugh at any rate; and if a straw can tickle a man, it is an instrument of happiness. — John Dryden

Best Humorous Quotes By Jenny Lawson: Then I yelled through his door, It's an

Then I yelled through his door, It's an anniversary gift for you, asshole. Two whole weeks early. FIFTEEN YEARS IS BIG METAL CHICKENS. — Jenny Lawson

Best Humorous Quotes By Frederick L. Coxen: If you don't succeed the first time -

If you don't succeed the first time - you're about average — Frederick L. Coxen

Best Humorous Quotes By Swami Vivekananda: ARISE, AWAKE AND STOP NOT TILL THE GOAL

ARISE, AWAKE AND STOP NOT TILL THE GOAL IS REACHED — Swami Vivekananda

Best Humorous Quotes By Elizabeth Gilbert: You learn to smile even in you liver?''Even

You learn to smile even in you liver?'
'Even in my lire, Ketut. Big smile in my liver. — Elizabeth Gilbert

Best Humorous Quotes By Samuel Taylor Coleridge: The devil is not, indeed, perfectly humorous, but

The devil is not, indeed, perfectly humorous, but that is only because he is the extreme of all humor. — Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Best Humorous Quotes By Elizabeth Jane Howard: I'm not lazy. I'm just really gifted, only

I'm not lazy. I'm just really gifted, only instead of being good at music or math I'm good at sleeping late. — Elizabeth Jane Howard

Best Humorous Quotes By Quentin R. Bufogle: God doesn't send atheists to Hell there's no

God doesn't send atheists to Hell
there's no room with all the Christians down there. — Quentin R. Bufogle

Best Humorous Quotes By Aakash Deep: Everything is uncomfortable for the first time: School,

Everything is uncomfortable for the first time: School, Smoking or Sex. — Aakash Deep

Best Humorous Quotes By Frederick Lenz: In Tantric Zen you can be humorous and

In Tantric Zen you can be humorous and make fun of anything or you can be very serious. — Frederick Lenz

Best Humorous Quotes By Brent Weeks: It had better be. It doesn't do much

It had better be. It doesn't do much when it's soft. — Brent Weeks

Best Humorous Quotes By Rick Riordan: Otis! Will you PLEASE stop killing me!

Otis! Will you PLEASE stop killing me! — Rick Riordan

Best Humorous Quotes By Charlie Sheen: You can't beat me. I have the mind

You can't beat me. I have the mind of a warlock with adonis DNA. Winning! — Charlie Sheen

Best Humorous Quotes By Lisa Scottoline: Listen carefully, I'm going to say three words.""I

Listen carefully, I'm going to say three words."
"I love you? — Lisa Scottoline

Best Humorous Quotes By Bob Hope: My folks were English ... we were too

My folks were English ... we were too poor to be British. — Bob Hope