Best Ever Funny Quotes
Collection of top 54 famous quotes about Best Ever Funny
Best Ever Funny Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Best Ever Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
We all flinched as Ray flipped the breaker back on, but my laboratory again failed to erupt in flames. It must be a mad scientist record.
— Richard Roberts
I think I got a lot of my 'funny' DNA from my mother, who had a glorious sense of the ridiculous.
— Christopher Buckley
Her hands were large and knuckley and calloused, made to hold a rifle, not a needle.
— Hilary Mantel
One does not simply ring Roland.Oh boy. I supposed I would get a lecture on the dangers of wandering into Mordor next. — Ilona Andrews
Vomit and shit, even your own, stink.
— Sheeja Jose
I think people like comedies and I think concept driven comedies seem to be working when it's a clear concept and you deliver funny stuff.
— Todd Phillips
And there's no damage to the car. Except to the car itself.
— Murray Walker
The funny part about Islam is; even if you rape a woman, it would be considered as her fault.
— M.F. Moonzajer
These are the best things I've ever had in my mouth!
— Mora Early
If I let you go are you going to hit me again?""What do you think?"
"Then I'm not going to let you go. — Sarah Mayberry
I find it kind of funny. I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had.
— Tears For Fears
Fuck you.""Promise? — Carole Cummings
I don't want want to go to jail, I'm fragile.
— Adam Sandler
A mother is the best friend God ever gave.
— Christian Nestell Bovee
Culver is a language magnet school. What it's mainly a magnet for, if you want to know the truth, is nerds.
— Dave Barry
Jack Black is so funny! On and off screen, like, he would make you laugh every day. He's hilarious.
— Caitlin Hale
If I was a mechanic and someone called me and said their car would not start, I would say, "Hey - maybe a killer is after you!"
— Mitch Hedberg
If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?
— Robin Williams
You're impossible," she told him. "Of course I am," he answered. "It's part of my charm. — David Eddings
I want to make a vending machine that sells vending machines. It'd have to be real big.
— Mitch Hedberg
So does that mean if you won't fuck me because I'm high, I could fuck you because you're not?
— K.A. Mitchell
I've noticed that when people are joking they're usually dead serious, and when they're serious, they're usually pretty funny.
— Jim Morrison
Fuck you!" "Right here?" He crossed his arms. "That definitely wouldn't help your getting over me.
— Stacey Marie Brown
Dude. Hot Bozo. Best nickname ever.
— Cynthia Hand
It's so funny to think that I used to be a model and here I am doing arbitrage, shipping and negotiating margins, the list is endless.
— Caprice Bourret
I had a dream about you last night. We watched pornography together, but purely for the storyline.
— Michael Summers
How much detention did you get?Two weeks. One per arsehole. — Stephanie Perkins
Luck is merely a product of the happily delusional mind.
— Lois Greiman
Mitt Romney had a horse competing in the Olympics. He didn't win. But next year, he'll be competing in 'Dancing with the Stars.'
— David Letterman
As humans we speak one language ...
— Avril Lavigne
You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible thing about sarcasm.It's really funny. — Brandon Sanderson
Moving on was going to require leaving the woods and getting a friend set that didn't have gray hairs, hip replacements and a few false teeth.
— Rebecca Brooks
He runs to the sink to spit it out. I grin. There's nothing quite as funny as someone else's misery.
— Holly Black
I got my start in silent radio.
— Bob Monkhouse
Groupies will give you Chlamydia, Edward.""Right, Virg. Groupies throw underwear on stage. They don't throw flowers. — Andrew Barger
If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
— Jerry Seinfeld
The ballgame is over ... in this inning.
— Jerry Coleman
She shuddered. What is it with slobbery kissers? Are they trying to drown us in spit? I mean, Jesus, swallow every now and then.
— Tammara Webber
I find it very difficult to be funny, it's much easier to do tragedy than it is to do comedy.
— Eric Drooker
Text messages are dying a funny kind of death.
— Anonymous
In the silence, the bear died. It was a cute death, with funny music.
— Orson Scott Card