Best Brian Regan Quotes: top 30 famous quotes about Best Brian Regan

Best Brian Regan Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Best Brian Regan quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

I wasn't expecting to really draw in respected comedians but it's going to happen along the way and I'm truly honored by that. — Brian Regan

I think the serving size of ice cream is when you hear the spoon hit the bottom of the container. — Brian Regan

Do not stand directly in front of a cannon ... how true that is. — Brian Regan

I'm trying to do things I have never done. Like I recently went to 3 different ballets. And I loved trying to learn how to like those a little bit. — Brian Regan

The funnest jokes for me to tell are the ones that are the newest. So I'm just constantly motivated to keep my eyes and ears open and have new stuff. — Brian Regan

I could go for a sandwich, but I'm not gonna open two jars. — Brian Regan

If you tell a kid not to run to a water slide, he/she will walk for 2 steps, then start running again. — Brian Regan

Hey, you know who I feel bad for? Arab-Americans who truly want to get into crop dusting. — Brian Regan

Do people who believe in reincarnation ever say, Darn, I'm still writing the year 1612 on my checks! — Brian Regan

Be adaptable, flexible and never stop learning. The rate of change will never stop and neither should you. — Brian Regan

As long as I can make that audience one thing, one unit, then I'm okay with it. But, sometimes, the bigger the audience, the weirder it gets. — Brian Regan

Racquetball is the only sport where simultaneously you can be looking at the ball and it'll hit you in the back of the head at 90 miles per hour. — Brian Regan

I am happy doing standup so I don't ever want to stop doing it. But I wouldn't mind venturing off and doing other things that are creative. — Brian Regan

I don't know. I'd be a lot better off if I would've studied more when I was growing up, you know? — Brian Regan

THE BIG YELLOW ONE IS THE SUN!!! — Brian Regan

The bigger the show, the weirder it is. — Brian Regan

I took a speed reading course and my speed shot up to 43 pages a minute, but my comprehension plummeted. — Brian Regan

Some people look at creamed corn and ask, 'Why?' I look at creamed corn and ask, 'Why not?' — Brian Regan

Hey, lay off the dairy. And uh, no more happiness. — Brian Regan

You got to figure out how to eat your snack while your elbows are touching. You got to learn how to twist your little plastic utensil. — Brian Regan

If Einstein was so smart how come people only call you 'Einstein' when you do something really stupid ? — Brian Regan

Brian, relax, man. You've gotta relax when you make the crank calls. — Brian Regan

I drove myself to the Emergency Room. That's a nice relaxing drive. "Noooo, after you. Merge-everybody merge." — Brian Regan

Read read good... — Brian Regan

It's good to be here. I'm just trying to go through life without looking stupid. It's not working out too well. — Brian Regan

So, what are you in for? MANSLAUGHTER!!! I SLAUGHTERED A MAN!! JUST LIKE A PIG!!! PUT HIM ON A SPIT AND PUT AN APPLE IN HIS MOUTH!!!! — Brian Regan

Don't like when sports interviewers force answers: Are you dedicating this game to your sick grandmother? What's the guy supposed to say? — Brian Regan

MOOSEN!!!!!!! There many MOOSEN in the WOODSEN! MANY MUCH MOOSEN! The Meisin wanted and the MOOSEN and ... — Brian Regan

Mmmm! Lunch and no clean up!! Can life get better? I submit that it CANNOT!! — Brian Regan

I like the honesty of standup comedy. People don't fake laugh. If they're truly laughing at you, you know they like you. — Brian Regan