Best Amy Schumer Quotes: top 32 famous quotes about Best Amy Schumer

Best Amy Schumer Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Best Amy Schumer quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

It's relaxing sometimes, just being human. — Amy Schumer

I don't know how introverts survived without the Internet. Or with the Internet. Actually, I don't know how we survive at all. It feels impossible. — Amy Schumer

You know what they say: 'Once you go black, your parents don't talk to you anymore. — Amy Schumer

Don't feel bad for me. I think I'm, like, so pretty. — Amy Schumer

My background is in theater. I was a theater major in college. — Amy Schumer

He was really into family ... He'd never come on the road with me on the weekends 'cause he wanted to spend time with his wife. — Amy Schumer

I don't even want to know someone who isn't barely hanging on by a thread. — Amy Schumer

Let's all just follow the lead of Glamour, and join forces and lift each other up. — Amy Schumer

I'll never forget the day I realized I wasn't quite the Ford model I thought I was. — Amy Schumer

I'll never forget how she told us. She took us all out to brunch, and she was like, 'You guys, I'm keeping this one.' — Amy Schumer

I am crushing so hard on Amy Schumer. Women like her who have chosen to stand up for themselves and face the bullies are being so embraced. — Anne Hathaway

I would be like the third-hottest bartender at a Dave & Buster's in Cincinnati. — Amy Schumer

Isn't it funny that they say most girls have daddy issues, when really, every dude does? — Amy Schumer

I am not special just because I'm famous right now. — Amy Schumer

I call myself a comic.But I started as an actress. I did plays since I was 5. — Amy Schumer

He presented to the world the facade of a certain kind of man who wasn't really there. — Amy Schumer

The saddest realization I've had in my life is that my parents are people. Sad, human people. I aged a decade in that moment. — Amy Schumer

I'm not extra sensitive to handshakes. I shake hands all the time. — Amy Schumer

I am not who I sleep with. I am not my weight. I am not my mother. I am myself. And I am all of you, and I thank you. — Amy Schumer

The moments that make life worth living are when things are at their worst and you find a way to laugh. — Amy Schumer

I hope that the next time you go to a concert, the band doesn't play the song you wanna hear! And instead, they just play songs off their new album! — Amy Schumer

The last couple of roles I missed out on went to Jennifer Hudson, Jessica Biel and Olivia Wilde. — Amy Schumer

I've got a terrible person in me just as much as anybody else, and I think - I like to think I also have a really good person in me. — Amy Schumer

It was the best night of my life, getting to dance on stage with Madonna! — Amy Schumer

tactics for negotiating with adults. I came on pretty strong at my friends' houses because — Amy Schumer

It's hard out there for a fuzzy little introvert. — Amy Schumer

I only met Joan Rivers once. But when she passed away, it felt like a part of me went away, too. — Amy Schumer

I asked for a glass of Chardonnay. And in a 9/11-like twist, they didn't have any. They offered me Pinot. — Amy Schumer

I donated blood today. That's what I call getting an AIDS test. — Amy Schumer

We had to break up, though. We wanted different things - like he wanted kids and I wanted him to hear. — Amy Schumer

First of all, nobody can be innocent and wise at the same time. That's another one of those impossible combinations. — Amy Schumer

I want to keep working really hard at getting better at stand-up and touring, and I can't imagine a time when I won't want to do that. But, who knows? — Amy Schumer