Bartender Quotes: top 63 famous quotes about Bartender

Bartender Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Bartender quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Yeah, I know I'm ugly ... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.' — Rodney Dangerfield

Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch. — W.C. Fields

You're not hiding, but you're sitting in a gay bar at dinnertime. You're not hiding, but you're wearing that suit like it's armor. — Jodi Picoult

A conservative, a liberal, and a moderate walk into a bar. The bartender says, 'Hi, Mitt.' — Foster Friess

A good writer is not, per se, a good book critic. No more so than a good drunk is automatically a good bartender. — Jim Bishop

a beer. The bartender says, "You'll — Various

Bartender! Vring me some viskey with chincher ale on de side & don't be stingy, baby. (Garbo's first words in a talking picture) — Greta Garbo

E-flat walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve minors. — Various

I was an amazing bartender and a great waiter. I think, in a way, that was my acting school. — Nick Frost

A theory that you can't explain to a bartender is probably no damn good. — Ernest Rutherford

For a while a person is a junkie and a bartender or a junkie and a father or a junkie and a thief, but after a while he's just a junkie. — Daniel Polansky

I'm the bartender. Everyone talks to the bartender, remember? — Riley Hart

Anyway, whacking a surly bartender ain't much of a crime. — Larry McMurtry

It's all part of the bartender's creed: make them fresh, make them cold, but most of all, if they're a little overeager, make them wait. — William Lashner

I would be like the third-hottest bartender at a Dave & Buster's in Cincinnati. — Amy Schumer

The greatest accomplishment of a bartender lies in his ability to exactly suit his customer ... — Harry Gordon Johnson

Of all of them there at the bar that night, the bartender was the one who survived the longest. He died three weeks later on the road out of the city. — Emily St. John Mandel

A bartender walks into a church, a temple and a mosque. He has no idea how jokes work. — Various

Bartender's smile widened. His ugliness was the stuff of legend. In an age of affordable beauty, there was — William Gibson

Went to a bar for a few drinks. The bartender asked what I wanted. "Surprise me", I said. So he showed me a naked picture of my wife. — Rodney Dangerfield

Daytime Bartender Moonlights as a madman. Now there's a novel, — Kimberly Bettes

Two jumper cables walk into a bar. The bartender says, "You guys better not start anything in here! — Various

A neutron walks into a bar and asks, "How much for a beer?" The bartender replies, "For you? No charge. — Various

A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve vegetables!" The mushroom responds, "But I'm a fungi!" *** — Various

Once again, Rylann tried to catch the eye of the female bartender working Firelight's main bar.
One of the few times I've ever wished for a penis, — Julie James

What happened when the ghost asked for a whiskey at his local bar? The bartender said, "Sorry sir, we don't serve spirits here." *** — Various

(Mason) took a swig of his drink and shuddered. 'Whoa - little too strong there bartender.' He scrunched his face. 'Oh shit, I am the bartender. — Martin Fillmore Clark

Handsome guy, Victor, in a brutal, black-Irish way. Like most New York bartenders, he was really an actor, or was it the reverse? ("Novelty") — John Crowley

If you truly love me, kill the bartender. — Quentin Crisp

in there," and the first guy says, "Watch." In he goes and orders a beer. "Sorry, you can't bring your dog in here," says the bartender. — Various

Descartes walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Would you like a beer?" Descartes replies, "I think not" and poof! he vanishes. — Various

I toured Ontario in the winter of '48, in a touring company of The Drunkard, in which I played the bartender. — Jonathan Frid

A guy walks into a wedding reception. He goes up to the bartender and asks, "Is this the punch line? — Various

Strangefellows's owner and bartender was a thin pale streak of misery who only wore black because no-one had come up with a darker colour yet. — Simon R. Green

My dad was a bartender that worked banquets. — Marco Rubio

The drink prices were inflated, and so were the breasts of the bartender. The place had a quiet discord that was waiting to be provoked. — Thor Benson

The sigh associated with Hot Bartender Dude would most definitely be felt around the world and in the lady parts.
Probably in some boy parts, too. — J. Lynn

When I reached the bar, I ordered a Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster from the female Klingon bartender and downed half of it. — Ernest Cline

A fish walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What will it be?" The fish croaks, "Water. — Various

A bartender named Murphy once told me to be careful when I hit the road because sometimes the road hits back. He was right. — Patrick Thomas

Never pick a fight with a guy in a bartender's uniform. Never! — Ryohgo Narita

You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name
and you've never been to that bar before. — Zach Galifianakis

Finish your beer," he says then nods to the bartender. "Jack. Neat. — M. Leighton

You know you're in trouble, when the bartender cries. — Michael Peterson

Julius Caesar walks into a bar. "I'll have a martinus," he says. The bartender — Various

If Jesus was a bartender, He would still only be half as cool as Carlos. — Richard Kadrey

Thomas Edison walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Okay, I'll serve you a beer. Just don't get any ideas. — Various

bartender walks into a church, a temple and a mosque. He has no idea how jokes — Various

Bless my soul," whispered the old bartender, "Harry Potter ... what an honor. — J.K. Rowling

Every time I read a Jane Austen novel, I feel like a bartender at the gates of heaven. — Mark Twain

When someone asks whether they have bourbon, the bartender says smugly, 'Yes, of course, James Beam, very good.' " "James Beam. That is — Don DeLillo

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. — Albert Einstein

The girl you're looking for no longer exists. She died thirteen years ago. The woman who's left, she's just a bartender. — Sarah Grimm

A cocktail can be made by the bartender. But the cocktail also can be made by the chef. — Jose Andres

Hey bartender, hey man, look here. Give us one more, two more, three more glasses of beer. — Koko Taylor

The guitar is just a wonderful instrument. It's everything: a bartender, a psychiatrist, a housewife. It's everything, but it's elusive — Les Paul

Only one way to cover a story like this, and make that a double, bartender, please. — P. J. O'Rourke

A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks, what'll it be? The duck doesn't answer because it's a duck. — Jodi Picoult

I got fired from being a lunch-shift bartender because I had a reading of a play. — John Krasinski

I feel so fortunate and lucky I don't have to be a waitress or a bartender or a personal trainer. — Abbie Cobb

My dad was a cop. My mom worked at various jobs - she worked as a homemaker, a bank teller, a bartender. — Lee Daniels

I wanted to be a bartender for a bit. — Gia Coppola

By the time a bartender knows what drink a man will have before he orders, there is little else about him worth knowing. — Don Marquis