Bar Humor Quotes
Collection of top 33 famous quotes about Bar Humor
Bar Humor Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Bar Humor quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
I went to a gay bar, they wanted proof of sex so I showed them, they said it wasn't enough.
— Rodney Dangerfield
Complaining that a comic is drunk is like going to a titty bar and complaining because your lapdancer is a communist.
— Doug Stanhope
Your trash can is full of energy bar wrappers." "You were looking through my trash? — Rainbow Rowell
A literary academic can no more pass a bookstore than an alcoholic can pass a bar.
— Carolyn G. Heilbrun
If your shoes stick to the bar floor, you may need to re-think using the bar bathroom.
— Kimberly J. Dalferes
To us," she said. raising her glass. We both sucked back the sweet drink as if it were nectar.
— Elle Klass
I didn't want to be DRUNK. IN. PUBLIC. I wanted to be drunk in a BAR. I was THROWN. into. public.
— Ron White
Word of advice - never ask a terrorist the question 'What would you do for a Klondike bar?'.
— David C. Holley
You would think there is a higher bar than having a Facebook page to run for president.
— Bill Maher
One popular saying was, The boy who goes into medicine is too lazy for farm or shop, too stupid for the Bar, and too immoral for the pulpit.
— Volney Steele
You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name and you've never been to that bar before. — Zach Galifianakis
On our second date, she kissed me in a bar. I invited her home. We just caught the F train, which seemed like a good omen.
— Alison Bechdel
When I pass the bar, you'll be barred from bars but put behind them.
— Natalya Vorobyova
All we can hope for is that he will fall into the ocean with a bar of soap in his pocket.
— Eoin Colfer
I have always understood that money made in the patent medicine business is a practical bar to social success.
— George Presbury Rowell
Two peanuts walk into a rather rough bar, not looking for any trouble. Unfortunately, one was a salted.
— Tommy Cooper
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman looks at them and says: "Is this some kind of a joke?"
— Frank Carson
The Kit Kat candy bar has the name Kit Kat imprinted into the chocolate. That robs you of chocolate! That's a clever chocolate-saving technique.
— Mitch Hedberg
When a Dragon, an Elf, and a Human walk into a bar, the Human is always going to be the punch line.
— Bryan Fields
Reggie, you wrapped your sports car around a telephone pole after drinking a bar." "Yeah... But I was wearing my seatbelt. — Daniel Younger
A Corsai, a Malchai, and a Sunai walk into a bar - Everyone groaned, including August. — Victoria Schwab
A jump lead walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
— Tommy Cooper
I escape disaster by writing a poem with a joke in it:The past, present, and future walk into a bar - it was tense. — Kelli Russell Agodon
A guy walks into a pub with a lump of asphalt on His shoulder, He says to the bar man give us a pint and one for the road.
— Tommy Cooper
A good story should provoke discussion, debate, argument ... and the occasional bar fight.
— J. Michael Straczynski
