Ask.fm Funny Quotes
Collection of top 51 famous quotes about Ask.fm Funny
Ask.fm Funny Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Ask.fm Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving.
— Steven Wright
As I may or may not say to the Lord on Judgment Day, "You ask a lot of questions for someone who has so much explaining to do"
— Robert Breault
Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, 'How's it going with that girl?' 'One day at a time, man.'
— Adam Ferrara
Wishing he'd...get the hell out the door before I do something crazy like ask him to whip out his goober.
— Stephanie McAfee
- and you'll remember, when they ask you your religion, that you're a Cath'lic. Better say Roman Cath'lic, tho' I'm not fond of the word.
— Rudyard Kipling
Isn't it funny? You forgive people before they ask forgiveness. Later they expect your apologize.
— M.F. Moonzajer
I do like to believe there is no stupid and or funny question because in fact if we don't ask than we don't learn.
— Kai Greene
A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked, and could have only one book, what would it be? I always say, How to Build a Boat.
— Stephen Wright
If you ask who I aspire to, well, if a single line of mine was as funny as P. G. Wodehouse can be, that would be great.
— Nick Harkaway
I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. It's funny - people ask me that, and I don't know what to tell them.
— Mackenzie Rosman
What shall we do now?" he asked."Something very dreadful," she said,her voice sour."Ask Arlow Bowlerham for the name of a dressmaker. — March McCarron
Word of advice - never ask a terrorist the question 'What would you do for a Klondike bar?'.
— David C. Holley
During job interviews, when they ask: 'What is your worst quality?', I always say: 'Flatulence'. That way I get my own office.
— Dan Thompson
People never ask people doing serious music, 'Do you ever think about doing funny music?'
— Al Yankovic
![Ask.fm Funny Quotes By Dakota Cassidy: [Ella] "Again, I ask, whose side are you](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/ask-fm-funny-quotes-by-dakota-cassidy-1580015.jpg "Ask.fm Funny Quotes By Dakota Cassidy: [Ella] \"Again, I ask, whose side are you")
[Ella] "Again, I ask, whose side are you on?"[Lola] "The side that has the least Dorito-flavored vomit on the floor after the party. — Dakota Cassidy
When someone gives you advice, just ask them to give it in writing and they will either keep mum or will run from there.
— Amit Kalantri
The funny thing about the mind is that if you ask a question and then listen quietly, the answer usually appears.
— Yongey Mingyur
Condoms should be marked in 3 sizes: jumbo, colossal and super colossal, so that men do not have to go in and ask for the small.
— Barbara Seaman
Thanks, Marisa. You're the best sister a girl can ask for," Mia told her sincerely. "I know--and very modest too. — Anna Zaires
Ask five economists and you'll get five different answers - six if one went to Harvard.
— Edgar Fiedler
Let me ask you a question. How long is too long to text someone back? My wife still thinks I died in 9/11.
— Frankie Boyle
You must be careful when you ask people whether they're happy; it's a question that can upset them a great deal.
— Francois Lelord
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
— Steven Wright
Yoga pants often answer questions I didn't ask.
— Tim Heaton
Children when they ask you why your mama so funny say she is a poet she don't have no sense
— Lucille Clifton
Here's my advice: Go ahead and be whacky. Get into a crazy frame of mind and ask what's funny about what you're doing.
— Roger Von Oech
You don't ever ask a barber whether you need a haircut.
— Warren Buffett
A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, "Can I park here?" "No" says the cop. "What about all these other cars?" "They didn't ask!"
— Henny Youngman
I wanted to write at school - to write funny stories which the teacher might ask me to read out to the class. It's all basically about showing off.
— Mark Billingham
Ask her to wait a moment I am almost done.
— Carl Friedrich Gauss
I did what all good Iriah dads do when faced with a worthy adversary..I said Ask your mother!!
— Eoin Colfer
Never ask for 'a beer.'
— Michael Jackson
When asked "If you could meet any famous person living or dead," I always ask whether the dead person would be alive again when I meet them.
— Ashish Chauhan
Brooke?" he finally found the sense to ask. "What are you doing here?""I need a gun."
This was not how his dream was supposed to go. — Shannon K. Butcher
What did you want me to do? Ask him for money?
— Mariana Zapata
What is about Army uniforms? Especially combats. They are just drool-worthy, if you ask me.
— Aditi Mathur Kumar
Kill first, ask questions of the corpse later
— G.A. Aiken