Adult Humour Quotes: top 50 famous quotes about Adult Humour

Adult Humour Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Adult Humour quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

You know its going to be a bad day when you are having a prostate examination and you feel both of your doctor's hands on your shoulders! — Michael Robotham

Don't try and make me feel better, Alex. I hate you."
"I hate you, too. — Simone Elkeles

She was every inch the skeletal goddess that had been promised by the bones of her feet. — Jefferson Smith

This is Sailor Supergirl," George says. "She knows all about black holes. — Huntley Fitzpatrick

No bikinis on a first date." He nods. "I'm sure that's a rule. Or should be. For my sisters anyway. — Huntley Fitzpatrick

Sylvia grabs my sleeve. "He's a looker."
"I know. The problem is, he knows it, too. — Simone Elkeles

Sadie gave her head an exaggerated scratch. 'Don't come too close if you know what's good for you, these nits are on steroids. — Sharon Sant

With every step, I cursed the person who had ever invented the saying: "Speak of the devil". Clearly, they had no sympathy for me! — Adele Rose

Those sweet lips. My, oh my, I could kiss those lips all night long.
Good things come to those who wait. — Jess C. Scott

It's just ... how do I put this? Maybe it's just hard for me to imagine turning down something that's so much harder for someone like me to find. — Liz Czukas

A Christian telling an atheist they're going to hell is as scary as a child telling an adult they're not getting any presents from Santa. — Ricky Gervais

But cocks aren't supposed to lay eggs ... " Sahil said, trying to untangle himself. " ... they're supposed to fertilise them. — Faraaz Kazi

We're adults. I might be a little more of an adult if you're counting years but I bet I have a lower IQ, so that puts us pretty much even. — Robyn Carr

I didn't realise you'd ridden here on your high horse — Robyn Schneider

Jacob glanced across at the woman. 'She'd have you for breakfast, mate.'
'Yeah,' Luca countered, 'maybe I want to be had for breakfast. — Sharon Sant

How do you explain plastic to a medieval forest bard? — Jefferson Smith

It is a fool of a shepherd who culls his dogs. — Jefferson Smith

Holy moly Pikachu bolts! — Adele Rose

Thanks for not trying to see me when I looked like hell."
"To be fair, you still look pretty bad. — John Green

Boys don't gossip."
"Pah! You don't know us as well as you think."
This was a disturbing prospect. — Jennifer Echols

Rotten, dirty, back-slapping, wine-quaffing, haemorrhoid-hosting, goat-shagging, fart-sniffing, Crispin-loving, gold-snatching bastards!!! — Aaron D'Este

What are you boys doing?" she asks, as if we're still little kids messing around.
"Arguin'," Carlos says matter-of-factly. — Simone Elkeles

Can you put your hands on my crotch?"
"Why, hell no, I cannot." I didn't remember anything like this happening in Pride and Prejudice. — Jennifer Echols

Being amongst rough lives and confusion does not make you less, it only makes your beauty shine out more clearly. — Sharon Sant

But a cock does not enter a hen ... it enters a ... meow-meow! — Faraaz Kazi

The human body is the best work of art. — Jess C. Scott

I had shaved my beard for her-a huge disappointment, because I'd enjoyed my three weeks looking like a bank robber. — Jennifer Echols

It's not really wine," he said. "It's Diet Coke. And if anyone ever serves you brown wine with a foamy head, send it back. — Jennifer Echols

His tricks had raised the temperature of the room considerably, although I was pretty sure his presence alone had that effect. — Adele Rose

When I turn back to Jase, he's again beaming at me. "You're nice." He sounds pleased, as if he hadn't expected this aspect of my personality. — Huntley Fitzpatrick

There's always time for arguin' when you're a Fuentes. — Simone Elkeles

You look like a hot tamale."
"That's not really a compliment. — Simone Elkeles

Right. Because if you have trouble putting ketchup and mustard on a hot dog, you should totally move on to saving lives. — Huntley Fitzpatrick

They were Siamese twins, joined at the groin by a traitorous piece of meat. — Nancy A. Collins

You can't believe everything people tell you - not even if those people are your own brain. — Jefferson Smith

What's with all those tattoos? Makes you look like a hooligan."
"I suspect I am a hooligan. — Simone Elkeles

Whoa, who was that?"
"Madison Stone," Kiara mutters.
"Introduce me to her."
"Why?"
Because I know it'll annoy the shit out of you. — Simone Elkeles

A text pops up on the screen. It's from Luis. I can't help but grin when I read his perfectly thought-out message.
Luis: Hey — Simone Elkeles

Clearly, she hadn't heard of the two words 'social' and 'life'. — Adele Rose

She ignores me, so I cup my hands over my mouth and do something I haven't done in years - barnyard sounds. — Simone Elkeles

Ben walks in the room and asks, "What were you guys doing?" Nikki says "Nothing" at the same time I say, "Your sister and I were just makin' out. — Simone Elkeles

But I don't want to be a vampire drone.' Sophronia winced. 'They'll suck my blood and make me wear only the very latest fashions. — Gail Carriger

I wanted to remind you that you do not allow me to deliver boats, as I have been known to crash them. — Jennifer Echols

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be a dickhead. Well, I did. — Simone Elkeles

Would you like me to put you out of your misery, before I put you out of your misery? — Paul Cude

Cause if you were my girlfriend and a stud like me was livin' in your house, I'd kiss you in front of the guy every chance I got as a reminder. — Simone Elkeles

I guess I like things that take time and attention. More worthwhile that way. — Huntley Fitzpatrick

You've got a big ego, Fuentes."
"That's not all I've got. — Simone Elkeles

Sadly, like many times in life, including winning the lottery, we don't always get what we wish for. — Adele Rose

Your king is SUPPOSED to explode? What kind of government system is that? — Jefferson Smith