Mort Sahl Quotes

Top 61 wise famous quotes and sayings by Mort Sahl

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Mort Sahl quotes: When Obama ran, he said, We can change the world! The world: can you change it back?! When Obama ran, he said, We can change the world! The world: can you change it back?!
Mort Sahl quotes: The fact is that you can't have a good relationship with a girl who hasn't settled things with her father. The fact is that you can't have a good relationship with a girl who hasn't settled things with her father.
Mort Sahl quotes: I didn't think that anything is beyond humor - not profane humor, but a good, honest approach to humor. I didn't think that anything is beyond humor - not profane humor, but a good, honest approach to humor.
Mort Sahl quotes: One thing about being narrow-minded: you'll never be lonely. One thing about being narrow-minded: you'll never be lonely.
Mort Sahl quotes: There's so much Botox around now that you can't tell when a Jewish girl is angry! There's so much Botox around now that you can't tell when a Jewish girl is angry!
Mort Sahl quotes: You haven't lived until you've died in California You haven't lived until you've died in California
Mort Sahl quotes: Obama said he went to Libya because of his conscience. Did anyone ever wrestle with his conscience and lose? Obama said he went to Libya because of his conscience. Did anyone ever wrestle with his conscience and lose?
Mort Sahl quotes: There are Russian spies here now. And if we're lucky, they'll steal some of our secrets and they'll be two years behind. There are Russian spies here now. And if we're lucky, they'll steal some of our secrets and they'll be two years behind.
Mort Sahl quotes: Every time the Russians throw an American in jail, the Committee throws an American in jail to get even. Every time the Russians throw an American in jail, the Committee throws an American in jail to get even.
Mort Sahl quotes: I went to computer class with my Dell and I was bullied by a guy with a Mac. I went to computer class with my Dell and I was bullied by a guy with a Mac.
Mort Sahl quotes: I'm a radical, and I always have been. I'm a radical, and I always have been.
Mort Sahl quotes: I used to go to two movies every week for the Saturday matinee when I was a kid. I used to go to two movies every week for the Saturday matinee when I was a kid.
Mort Sahl quotes: Obama is running again for spite. Obama is running again for spite.
Mort Sahl quotes: Mort Sahl, while attending a preview of Otto Preminger's film Exodus, stood up and called out, Otto, let my people go! Mort Sahl, while attending a preview of Otto Preminger's film Exodus, stood up and called out, Otto, let my people go!
Mort Sahl quotes: New book on Malcolm X says we don't know how he was killed. Want to bring in the FBI. Maybe they were in already. New book on Malcolm X says we don't know how he was killed. Want to bring in the FBI. Maybe they were in already.
Mort Sahl quotes: We claim we believe in compassion, which is an abstract, and when it's personified we discredit the man We claim we believe in compassion, which is an abstract, and when it's personified we discredit the man
Mort Sahl quotes: The bravest thing that men do is love women. The bravest thing that men do is love women.
Mort Sahl quotes: If you maintain a consistent political position long enough, you'll eventually be accused of treason. If you maintain a consistent political position long enough, you'll eventually be accused of treason.
Mort Sahl quotes: Remember that no matter how selfish, how cruel, how unfeeling you have been today, every time you take a breath, you make a flower happy. Remember that no matter how selfish, how cruel, how unfeeling you have been today, every time you take a breath, you make a flower happy.
Mort Sahl quotes: I never met a man I didn't like until I met Will Rogers. I never met a man I didn't like until I met Will Rogers.
Mort Sahl quotes: I don't think crucifixion is the answer. I believe in the resurrection. I like that part of the story. I don't think crucifixion is the answer. I believe in the resurrection. I like that part of the story.
Mort Sahl quotes: I'm not a liberal, I'm a radical! I'm not a liberal, I'm a radical!
Mort Sahl quotes: A Yuppie is someone who believes it's courageous to eat in a restaurant that hasn't been reviewed yet. A Yuppie is someone who believes it's courageous to eat in a restaurant that hasn't been reviewed yet.
Mort Sahl quotes: You know what I want you to do? I want you to blow out the candle and curse the darkness. You know what I want you to do? I want you to blow out the candle and curse the darkness.
Mort Sahl quotes: You know me, I love lost causes. You know me, I love lost causes.
Mort Sahl quotes: Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, and Reagan couldn't tell the difference. Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, and Reagan couldn't tell the difference.
Mort Sahl quotes: I found people looked better when they laughed I found people looked better when they laughed
Mort Sahl quotes: Reagan won because he ran against Jimmy Carter. If he ran unopposed he would have lost. Reagan won because he ran against Jimmy Carter. If he ran unopposed he would have lost.
Mort Sahl quotes: The New York Times is the official leak of the State Department. The New York Times is the official leak of the State Department.
Mort Sahl quotes: I've arranged with my executor to be buried in Chicago. Because when I die, I want to still remain active politically. I've arranged with my executor to be buried in Chicago. Because when I die, I want to still remain active politically.
Mort Sahl quotes: We would have broken up except for the children. Who were the children? Well, she and I were. We would have broken up except for the children. Who were the children? Well, she and I were.
Mort Sahl quotes: Remember when movies were just good or bad, before auteurs, film festivals, and guys from USC who were the first to shoot underwater? Remember when movies were just good or bad, before auteurs, film festivals, and guys from USC who were the first to shoot underwater?
Mort Sahl quotes: Now that Obama is at war in a 3rd country, does that mean he has to give back his Nobel Peace Prize? Now that Obama is at war in a 3rd country, does that mean he has to give back his Nobel Peace Prize?
Mort Sahl quotes: We all know that America is the worst country in the world, except for all the others. We all know that America is the worst country in the world, except for all the others.
Mort Sahl quotes: This matter of two sides to every question is bad logic and bad practice: sometimes there are no sides; sometimes there are a hundred. This matter of two sides to every question is bad logic and bad practice: sometimes there are no sides; sometimes there are a hundred.
Mort Sahl quotes: People tell me there are a lot of guys like me, which doesn't explain why I'm lonely. People tell me there are a lot of guys like me, which doesn't explain why I'm lonely.
Mort Sahl quotes: My whole life is a movie. It's just that there are no dissolves. I have to live every agonizing moment of it. My life needs editing. My whole life is a movie. It's just that there are no dissolves. I have to live every agonizing moment of it. My life needs editing.
Mort Sahl quotes: You don't know what you think unless you say it. You don't know what you think unless you say it.
Mort Sahl quotes: Everything I tell you is true, but this is factual. Everything I tell you is true, but this is factual.
Mort Sahl quotes: I'm for capital punishment. You've got to execute people. How else are they going to learn? I'm for capital punishment. You've got to execute people. How else are they going to learn?
Mort Sahl quotes: Professional comedians, surprisingly, have a lack of humor. They're insensitive to the insanity of our times. Professional comedians, surprisingly, have a lack of humor. They're insensitive to the insanity of our times.
Mort Sahl quotes: Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen. Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen.
Mort Sahl quotes: Bush is the face on the can. But who canned that soup? Bush is the face on the can. But who canned that soup?
Mort Sahl quotes: Obama says his recreation consists of reading the Constitution ... looking for a loophole. Obama says his recreation consists of reading the Constitution ... looking for a loophole.
Mort Sahl quotes: Those who the gods would make rich and famous on TV, they first drive mad. Those who the gods would make rich and famous on TV, they first drive mad.