Marshall B. Rosenberg quotes: wise famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Marshall B. Rosenberg

Marshall B. Rosenberg Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Marshall B. Rosenberg on Wise Famous Quotes.

To practice the process of conflict resolution, we must completely abandon the goal of getting people to do what we want.

We can never make anyone do anything against their will without enormous consequences.

Anger is a signal that you're distracted by judgmental or punitive thinking, and that some precious need of yours is being ignored.

Punishment is the root of violence on our planet.

Self-empathy in NVC means checking in with your own feelings and needs.

We use NVC to evaluate ourselves in ways that engender growth rather than self-hatred.

With empathy, I'm fully with them, and not full of them - that's sympathy.

The only time a message (label) can scare us is if we think there is such a thing, and that such a thing is a disgrace.

Upset? Ask yourself what this person does that is a trigger for judging them?

Never give advice to your children unless you have it in writing and notarized.

We do not look for compromise; rather, we seek to resolve the conflict to everyone's complete satisfaction.

If we wish to express anger fully, the first step is to divorce the other person from any responsibility for our anger.

We are never angry because of what others say or do. It is our thinking that makes us angry.

Judgments of others contribute to self-fulfilling prophecies.

When our communication supports compassionate giving and receiving, happiness replaces violence and grieving.

My anger tells me firstly that there's a need of mine that's not getting met.

NVC self-forgiveness: connecting with the need we were trying to meet when we took the action that we now regret.

We know the speaker has received adequate empathy when a. we sense a release of tension, or b. the flow of words comes to a halt.

We want to take action out of the desire to contribute to life rather than out of fear, guilt, shame, or obligation.

Most of us live in a Jackal world where we take turns using the other person as a waste basket for our words.

Whether I praise or criticize someone's action, I imply that I am their judge, that I'm engaged in rating them or what they have done.

When we are angry, killing people is too superficial.

Once you have access to key people in an organization, if you go into a meeting with enemy images of those people - then you are not going to connect.

People have been trained to criticize, insult, and otherwise communicate in ways that create distance among people.

They have most likely said it because they have an unmet need.

At the core of all anger is a need that is not being fulfilled.

In NVC, no matter what words others may use to express themselves, we simply listen for their observations, feelings, needs, and requests.

A respectful understanding of another's experience.

Every time I mess up is a chance to practice.

in a more loving manner, and those two things you said provide the direction I was looking for.

Plans to exact retribution are never going to make us safer.

In these long-standing conflicts, I find that most cases it gets resolved in about twenty minutes after each side can tell me the needs of the other.

As we learn to speak from the heart we are changing the habits of a lifetime.

Enemy images are the main reason conflicts don't get resolved.

Blaming and punishing others are superficial expressions of anger.

If we want to be compassionate we must be conscious of the words we use. We must both speak and listen from the heart.

When I am angry I have a judgment and an unmet need.

Learning is too precious to be motivated by coercive tactics.

Interpretations, criticisms, diagnoses, and judgments of others are actually alienated expressions of our unmet needs.

Violence comes from the belief that other people cause our pain and therefore deserve punishment.

Often, instead of offering empathy, we have a strong urge to give advice or reassurance and to explain our own position or feeling.

NVC helps us connect with each other and ourselves in a way that allows our natural compassion to flourish.

When we fear punishment, we focus on consequences, not on our own values.

Staying with empathy we allow speakers to touch deeper levels of themselves.

Never do anything that isn't play.

When we have our consciousness on needs, images come to us, naturally, of how to meet those needs.

What others do may be the stimulus of our feelings, but never the cause.

Behind intimidating messages are simply people appealing to us to meet their needs.

Ask before offering advice or reassurance.

Getting in touch with unmet needs is important to the healing process.

I don't think you can have an authentic connection when one person is diagnosing the other.

Postpone result/solution thinking until later; it's through connection that solutions materialize - empathy before education.

The more we talk about the past, the less we heal from it.

People heal from their pain when they have an authentic connection with another human being.

When we hear the other person's feelings and needs, we recognize our common humanity.

Regardless of our many differences, we all have the same needs. What differs is the strategy for fulfilling these needs.

In our culture, most of us have been trained to ignore our own wants and to discount our needs.

Always listen to what people need rather than what they are thinking about us.

Analyses of others are actually expressions of our own needs and values

Always hear the 'Yes' in the 'No'.

Empathize with silence by listening for the feelings and needs behind it.

Any time you throw pain at a Jackal without a clear present request, within a millisecond he'll jump in.

Never question the beauty of what you are saying because someone reacts with pain, judgment, criticism. It just means they have not heard you.

It's never what people do that makes us angry; it's what we tell ourselves about what they did.

When we are in contact with our feelings and needs, we humans no longer make good slaves and underlings.

The most dangerous of all behaviors may consist of doing things 'because we're supposed to.

People do not hear our pain when they believe they are at fault.

Understanding the other persons' needs does not mean you have to give up on your own needs.

Use anger as a wake-up call to unmet needs.

Anger tells us we've disconnected from life. The purpose in anger is to use it to come back to life.

Your presence is the most precious gift you can give to another human being.

Depression is the reward we get for being 'good'.

We are dangerous when we are not conscious of our responsibility for how we behave, think, and feel.

NVC requires us to be continually conscious of the beauty within ourselves and other people.

The most important use of NVC may be in developing self-compassion.

Classifying and judging people promotes violence.

With every choice you make, be conscious of what need it serves.

We are designed for Giving

Never hear what somebody thinks about you, you'll live longer. Hear that they're in pain. Don't hear their analysis.

Fix-it jackals can't wait to fix it, because they don't know how to enjoy pain. And until you learn how to enjoy pain, you can't enjoy intimacy.

If we don't tell people about our needs, it is much less likely they will be met.

Unless we as social change agents come from a certain kind of spirituality, we're likely to create more harm than good.

Never hear what a jackal-speaking person thinks, especially what they think about you.

Never connect yourself with the other person's pain. Just hear their need. Leave yourself out of the other person's feelings and needs.

Empathize, rather than put your "but" in the face of an angry person.

Our goal is to create a quality of empathic connection that allows everyone's needs to be met.

Every criticism, judgment, diagnosis, and expression of anger is the tragic expression of an unmet need.

All moralistic judgments, whether positive or negative, are tragic expressions of unmet needs.

When you need empathy, you cannot give empathy.

When I recognize I've got anger, then I realize it's because I have a need that's not being met.

You'll find people less threatening if you hear what they're needing rather than what they're thinking about you.

It's harder to empathize with those who appear to possess more power, status, or resources.

Make your goal to attend to your underlying needs and to aim for a resolution so satisfying that everyone involved has their needs met also.

Punishment also includes judgmental labeling and the withholding of privileges.

I never have to worry about another person's response, only how I react to what they say.

With empathy we don't direct, we follow. Don't just do something, be there.

peace cannot be built on the foundations of fear.

Fear of punishment diminishes self-esteem and goodwill.

At the root of every tantrum and power struggle are unmet needs.

NVC is a reminder; to focus our attention where we are most likely to get our needs met.