Kimberly Pauley Quotes

Myth: Caffeine doesn't effect vampires
Truth: True, but I guess it doesn't matter, since you don't get tired anyway.

Myth: Vampires eat only raw meat or drink blood.
Truth: Why would we do that when there's chocolate in the world?

Myth: Vampires can shapeshift into bats at will.
Truth: Who would want to turn into a giant bat?
Wait, don't answer that.

Myth: Vampires don't exist
Truth: Dead wrong.

Myth: Vampires have the power to charm people.
Truth: Kinda depends on the vampire if you ask me.

Myth: Vampires can read minds.
Truth: Geez, I hope not. But it would explain some things about my mom.

Myth: Garlic repels vampires.
Truth: Try telling that to my dad.

The best defense is a confusing offense.

Myth: Vampires have huge stockpiles of gold and treasure.
Truth: If that were true, I'd be able to get my dad to actually buy me a car.

Myth: A stake through the heart will kill a vampire.
Truth: Well, duh. It would kill anyone.