John Swartzwelder Quotes

I'm 190 pounds of rock hard muscle, underneath 40 pounds of sturdy protective fat.

As my exciting story began I was being punched in the stomach.

I was sleeping like a baby - waking up every three hours screaming and crapping my pants.

If you can take advantage of a situation in some way, it's your duty as an American to do it.

They can kill the Kennedys. Why can't they make a cup of coffee that tastes good?

Kids have too much money these days, if you ask me.